Old Timey Sayings

[woods-n-water]

Talk a whale into walkin
weeker than dish water
blackern 3 ft up a bull's @&#%
lunch was called dinner and dinner was called supper
boy we got a smart of rain last night....

[woods-n-water]

You ain't too old for ya wants to hurt cha

[pine nut]

I cain't wait! Wait's what broke the waggon down!
From the back that looks like two coons a fightin' in a sack!
Don't buy a pig in a poke!
If I'd a knowed you's a comin',I'da baked a cake!
Company's a comin' throw some onions in tha far to mak'em think we having somethin' good fer supper!
After a huge meal like at Thanksgiving, "That wus jist about as good as a full meal!"
Happier than a pig in slop.
Happier than a pig in the sunshine!
Smilin' like a mule a eatin' briars!
She's so purdy I'd camp on her back porch!
About a basset hound, "He's a dawg and a half long and a half a dog high!"
A gullible person: "He swallered it hook line and sinker, and run under tha bank with it!"
You can take his word to tha bank!
If he can't fix it it ain't broke!
That boy'd druther climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell tha truth!


I believe southerners talk in technicolor and yankees talk in black and white. To quote Lewis Grizzard, "Take the words naked and neckked! Naked means you ain't got no clothes on. Neckked means you ain't got no clothes on, and you're up to sumpthin"!"

I have enjoyed this thread. It brings back memories of a simpler time and memories of loved ones!

[RangerJ]

He's crazy as a run over dog. He looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate. I used to hear these often growing up.

[joedublin]

My Dad used to say that if a deer was sneakin' through the woods it was "slippyfootin'".

[John I. Shore]

Momma use to say: He's sweeter'n snuff & not near as nasty.
We use to go huntin: Down to the Hog Waller, and my Uncle was
always: "Fair to Middlin".

John I.
Messermacher

[NG ALUM]

"it's hotter than two fat rats freakin in a wool sock"
"it's hot as blazes"
"I'm sweating like a Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ---- in church"
" That dog won't hunt" -when something just isn't right
" if you can pour salt on a bulls tail you can catch it" -no trick there just saying if you can get close enough to pour salt on it, your close enough to catch it
" He's right as rain"
"if you string fence in the winter, you'll lose your cows in the summer" - in the summer the hotter weather causes the wire to expand making it sag and the cows can get out.
"don't make me start lying"- when you don't know something
"slow as pond water"
"till the cows come home"
"you stumped me"
"he was a running around like a chicken with it's head cut off"
" I'll stomp enough manure outta you to fertilize the whole state of Texas boy" -my grandaddy to me
"I'll snatch a knot on your head"
"well I declair"
"your other left"-when you confuse your right from left
"well don't that just beat all?"
"if the good lord's willing and the creek don't rise"
"it's back to the drawing board"
"she must be from tennessee cause she's the only ten-I-see"
"your can be the dumbest smart kid I know"
"whats missing in his equation"
"It was dark as a new moon in a bat cave"
"she's pretty as a picture"
"cute as a button"
"if I was doing any better I couldn't stand it"
"when it's cold you want it hot, when its hot you want it cold, you always want what it's not!"
"don't you be sucking your teeth at me"
"playing possum"
"don't think when your not use to it"


"im reaching now" so I'll think of more later

[turkeys101]

rode hard and put up wet,
ill be james brown
and grany used fiddle sticks and fiddle fadle when something didnt go the way she planed it

[Vernon Holt]

Originally Posted by turkeys101

"I'll be james brown"

"I'll be James Brown" may have been a saying, but it was not an old saying.

"I'll be John Brown" was the old saying that was used going back well before the Civil War period. You were close!

[The Crowe]

ive heard james and john brown
didnt read all of them but how bout sit a spell

[fireman32]

sit down here and preciate myself. "eating biscuits and syrup.
he'll last through bout one more clean shirt. "being old"
I'll cloud up and rain on you boy.
My daddys favorite, get over it or die totin it.
confused as a duck on a desert.

[shoot2grill]

When someone would ask grandaddy how he was doing he'd say" if id known I was gone live this long I would have taken better care of myself" I didn't understand what that meant as a kid but I do now.

[shoot2grill]

Grandaddy used to commercial fish and we'd spend hours cleaning catfish when he got back from a trip. Whenever we got to the last fish in the cooler he'd always say "here's the one I been waiting on the LAST ONE!" .....miss him everyday

[Quepos1]

A couple

She's uglier than a mud fence.
He's so ugly they shaved his butt and made him walk backward.
Lower tan a snake's belly.
More nervous than a Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ----Edited to Remove Profanity ---- in church.
I'll slap you crosseyed!
Too broke to pay attention.
So ugly she would back a buzzard off a gut wagon.
If wishes were horses then beggers could ride.
When my Mother would tell me to do something and I replied "wait". She would reply, "weight is what broke the cart down."
When I wanted her to give me a ride somewhere when I was a kid and she wasn't getting ready fast enough I would say come on, let's go. Her reply was, "walking isn't crowded, strike out and I will pick you up on the way."

[Ole Crip]

You smell worse than a pole cat on a hot day.
I'm thirsty-well i'm friday how you doing.
She is uglier than homemade sin.
That girl is finer than frog hair.
Boy you are dumber than a box of rocks.
I am going to beat you like a red headed step child.
Boy you are slower than mollases.
If these walls could talk.
Jimmeny cricketts.

[huntin tha horns]

Hangin like a hair on a buiscuit...
Fair to middlin...

[cgn526]

sneakin' up on a bisquit - for eating a meal
more fun than stompin' baby chickens - just for shock value I think
uglier than a train wreck - for an ugly girl
more curious than a preacher's daughter - to compare any curiosity to her promiscuity (hope I spelled that right)

[Killdee]

Mama used to say "That feller is quare" meaning strange or off in the head.

He aint got walking around sense.
Shes 2 axe handles across the.... Butt.
Slicker than a Minners .......thang
If you dont pay me my money this Friday, by next Friday, you will have been dead a week.
Deader than John Wilks Booth.

[Dixiesimpleman32]

dark as a sack of black cats
sorrrier than a pile of snake droppins
burnt slap up

[fishingmaddog]

Hanging in there like a loose tooth, Good as snuff and aint half as dusty, I'll swunney(sp), she's so ugly she would make a freight train take a dirt road, That fish weighed 20 lbs i seen the scales on his back.

[jreXD9]

"he couldn't trap a hog in a ditch"......somebody who's bowlegged
"copacetic".....how you're doing today if you're doing pretty good
"if you wash your car it'll rain".......self explanatory
"uglier than sin and not nearly as fun"
"he's about as sharp as a hammer".....not real bright
"she don't sweat much for a fat girl"

[Maggie Dog]

I'm so broke, if it cost a quarter to go around the world, I wouldn't make it to Lithonia.

Boy, Your puttin the wagon before the mule.

Your beating on a dead mule

Your preaching to the choir

Come a cloud- after a rain shower

I swanee- from my mom (often)

I'm glad you got to see me. ( elderly man at the corner store)

[Fishlipps Revisited]

she's a "butter-head"...(everything looks good but-her head)

Don't squat on your spurs.

As welcome as an outhouse breeze.

Big hat, no cattle.
(All talk and no action)

This ain't my first rodeo.
(I've been around awhile)

You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them
biscuits.
(You can say whatever you want about something, but that
doesn't change what it is).

She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth.
(That woman can talk)

[Tvveedie]

Ain't holdin yer mouth right. (applies to anything someone is failing to accomplish)

You'd screw up a *edit* dream.

Hold on to yer mash potatos and gravy.

You ain't jez whistlin Dixie.



not a sayin but I was told early on if you put salt on a bird's tail, it can't fly and you can catch it.

[Killdee]

Heres another
You would just as soon climb up and poop on your Mama's table as to mess with me.

[triton]

Purdy as a spickled pup
Ugly as a horses butt sewed up with a grape vine

Jam up & jelly tight
Bright as a burnt out light bulb
Slicker than snot
Btween a rock and a hard spot
Clear as mud
Sharp as a tack
Cant run with the big dogs stay on the portch with the pups
Happy as a clam
Smile from ear to ear
Smile so big if he was eating cornbread he would have crums in his ears

[triton]

Sorry

[leemckinney]

I will knock you into next week.

[willie]

Dumber than a sack of hammers.

If ifs and buts was candy and nuts it'd be Christmas all year long.

"shoot" fire and save the matches, "pluck" a duck and see what hatches.

Slicker than snot on a doorknob in the rain.

[triton]

Her pants were so tight if she ------(pass gas) she would blow her socks off

[Swamp Monkey]

Lost as last years Easter egg.

That's as good as a Mother's love.

[redneck_billcollector]

"I'm gonna whoop you like a run a way slave." The politically correct version is "I'm gonna whoop you like a rented mule."

[redneck_billcollector]

"Nervous as a sportin' lady at a tent revival". Then my grandfather would say "the only way it could be worse was if that sportin' lady greeted you by name at that revival". If you really had cause for concern.

[jim8377]

Crazy as a outhouse rat.

[Killdee]

Originally Posted by redneck_billcollector

"Nervous as a sportin' lady at a tent revival". Then my grandfather would say "the only way it could be worse was if that sportin' lady greeted you by name at that revival". If you really had cause for concern.

I like that one

I was always skinny and folks said, I looked like I traded legs with a jaybird and got cheated out of a Butt.
Hence the nick name Killdee since I was 11, near 60 and still called Killdee by all my friends and customers.

[garveywallbanger]

*A Man That Picks Up A Cat By Its Tail Learns A Lesson He Can Learn No Other Way.
*If Your In A Hole ...Stop Diggin.
*Doin Wrong Never Has A Happy Ending.
*The Best Way To Remember Your Anniversary Is To Forget It Once.

[1eyehunting]

so cross-eyed or scatter-brained, 'he had one eye huntin and the other eye fishin...'!

[1eyehunting]

'good judgement comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgement.'

[Ruger#3]

Stank so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a gut wagon!

[Twiggbuster]

tighter than Dick's hat band

[Vernon Holt]

Twigg: You are adding to it. There is no "a" in the saying.

[Twiggbuster]

heard it both ways

[RUGERWARRIOR]

Ill whoop a whole pen full of fellas like you and gaurd the gate at the same time.
Dryer than a popcorn poot in south Georgia in the summer time.
I bet you the last poot in a can of beans.
Hotter than 2 cats in a wool sock makin love.
Slicker than boiled okra.
Aint got no dog in that fight.
I wish I woulda been rich instead of so good lookin.(For ugly people)

Them guys at work get a kick out of my sayings at work. Thanks to this thread I got some new ones.

[TURKEY SLAMMER]

So broke have to poot to have a scent in my pocket.

[ramblinrack]

one i heard after moving down to bama many yrs ago ...

"if brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enuff to git a pis-aint's motor scooter half-way around a dadgum bb".

[killer elite]

He or she is common. lower than snake sh----t. He is dumber than dumb. Its a Red letter day. He is livin in high cotton.I I would like to buy him for what he is worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth. He or she is low rent.

[corbread]

useless as - I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH - on a boar hog
I'll be darn
opposum up a gum bush
cracker jack [good at somthing]
getfromhere [one word]
shoeshow [strip club]
busy as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest
good grandits

[hobbs27]

My great grandpa use to cut up with kids by asking, "You from around here, or do you pick peas?"
I got civil war letters from the family, and when they invited folks over to eat a good meal the would say, "Come over and I'll tighten your belly bands".

[lcopeland22]

"grabbed em by the hair of the head"
an alergy or a sinus headache is just a "sinus"
a bar is a "beer joint"
and my favorite, a fly swatter is a "fly flap"

[Sirduke]

Blowing smoke up your butt, which I found out comes from an old medical procedure where they gave tobacco smoke enemas !

My father was a source for old sayings, one of my favorites was, "you be that end of the horse, I'll be the head"

Do it again, I didn't feel nothing, when you hit your hand or head.

Its your lie, tell it like you want to.

Sulled up like a possum with a sweet tater

He cain't help his mama and daddy ain't married

He tons of them, I've seen a lot of them already posted