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  #126  
Old 12-20-2011, 04:11 PM
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Purdy as a spickled pup
Ugly as a horses butt sewed up with a grape vine

Jam up & jelly tight
Bright as a burnt out light bulb
Slicker than snot
Btween a rock and a hard spot
Clear as mud
Sharp as a tack
Cant run with the big dogs stay on the portch with the pups
Happy as a clam
Smile from ear to ear
Smile so big if he was eating cornbread he would have crums in his ears

Last edited by threeleggedpigmy; 01-05-2012 at 09:22 AM. Reason: ;)
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  #127  
Old 12-21-2011, 12:22 PM
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Sorry
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  #128  
Old 12-26-2011, 09:11 AM
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I will knock you into next week.
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  #129  
Old 01-04-2012, 08:16 PM
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Dumber than a sack of hammers.

If ifs and buts was candy and nuts it'd be Christmas all year long.

"shoot" fire and save the matches, "pluck" a duck and see what hatches.

Slicker than snot on a doorknob in the rain.
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Last edited by willie; 01-04-2012 at 10:25 PM.
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  #130  
Old 01-05-2012, 09:20 AM
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Her pants were so tight if she ------(pass gas) she would blow her socks off
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  #131  
Old 01-05-2012, 08:48 PM
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Lost as last years Easter egg.

That's as good as a Mother's love.
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  #132  
Old 01-05-2012, 10:10 PM
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"I'm gonna whoop you like a run a way slave." The politically correct version is "I'm gonna whoop you like a rented mule."
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  #133  
Old 01-05-2012, 10:15 PM
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"Nervous as a sportin' lady at a tent revival". Then my grandfather would say "the only way it could be worse was if that sportin' lady greeted you by name at that revival". If you really had cause for concern.
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  #134  
Old 01-07-2012, 10:35 AM
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Crazy as a outhouse rat.
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  #135  
Old 01-07-2012, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redneck_billcollector View Post
"Nervous as a sportin' lady at a tent revival". Then my grandfather would say "the only way it could be worse was if that sportin' lady greeted you by name at that revival". If you really had cause for concern.
I like that one

I was always skinny and folks said, I looked like I traded legs with a jaybird and got cheated out of a Butt.
Hence the nick name Killdee since I was 11, near 60 and still called Killdee by all my friends and customers.
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Last edited by Killdee; 01-07-2012 at 12:39 PM.
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  #136  
Old 01-09-2012, 01:53 PM
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*A Man That Picks Up A Cat By Its Tail Learns A Lesson He Can Learn No Other Way.
*If Your In A Hole ...Stop Diggin.
*Doin Wrong Never Has A Happy Ending.
*The Best Way To Remember Your Anniversary Is To Forget It Once.
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  #137  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:43 AM
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so cross-eyed or scatter-brained, 'he had one eye huntin and the other eye fishin...'!
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other eye fishing!
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  #138  
Old 03-05-2012, 10:47 AM
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'good judgement comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgement.'
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other eye fishing!
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  #139  
Old 03-05-2012, 11:04 AM
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Stank so bad it'd knock a buzzard off a gut wagon!
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  #140  
Old 03-05-2012, 11:50 AM
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tighter than Dick's hat band

Last edited by Twiggbuster; 03-06-2012 at 11:50 AM.
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  #141  
Old 03-05-2012, 03:07 PM
Vernon Holt Vernon Holt is offline
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Twigg: You are adding to it. There is no "a" in the saying.
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  #142  
Old 03-06-2012, 11:50 AM
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heard it both ways
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  #143  
Old 03-06-2012, 08:01 PM
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Ill whoop a whole pen full of fellas like you and gaurd the gate at the same time.
Dryer than a popcorn poot in south Georgia in the summer time.
I bet you the last poot in a can of beans.
Hotter than 2 cats in a wool sock makin love.
Slicker than boiled okra.
Aint got no dog in that fight.
I wish I woulda been rich instead of so good lookin.(For ugly people)

Them guys at work get a kick out of my sayings at work. Thanks to this thread I got some new ones.
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Last edited by RUGERWARRIOR; 03-06-2012 at 08:19 PM. Reason: Word Phrases without the potty mouth.
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  #144  
Old 03-09-2012, 09:41 PM
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So broke have to poot to have a scent in my pocket.
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  #145  
Old 03-11-2012, 10:43 AM
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one i heard after moving down to bama many yrs ago ...

"if brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enuff to git a pis-aint's motor scooter half-way around a dadgum bb".

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  #146  
Old 04-21-2012, 05:16 PM
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He or she is common. lower than snake sh----t. He is dumber than dumb. Its a Red letter day. He is livin in high cotton.I I would like to buy him for what he is worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth. He or she is low rent.
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  #147  
Old 04-25-2012, 10:15 PM
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useless as - I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH -- I AM A POTTY MOUTH - on a boar hog
I'll be darn
opposum up a gum bush
cracker jack [good at somthing]
getfromhere [one word]
shoeshow [strip club]
busy as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest
good grandits
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  #148  
Old 04-26-2012, 05:42 PM
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My great grandpa use to cut up with kids by asking, "You from around here, or do you pick peas?"
I got civil war letters from the family, and when they invited folks over to eat a good meal the would say, "Come over and I'll tighten your belly bands".
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  #149  
Old 05-11-2012, 10:31 PM
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"grabbed em by the hair of the head"
an alergy or a sinus headache is just a "sinus"
a bar is a "beer joint"
and my favorite, a fly swatter is a "fly flap"
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  #150  
Old 05-12-2012, 01:35 PM
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Blowing smoke up your butt, which I found out comes from an old medical procedure where they gave tobacco smoke enemas !

My father was a source for old sayings, one of my favorites was, "you be that end of the horse, I'll be the head"

Do it again, I didn't feel nothing, when you hit your hand or head.

Its your lie, tell it like you want to.

Sulled up like a possum with a sweet tater

He cain't help his mama and daddy ain't married

He tons of them, I've seen a lot of them already posted
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