How do you know when it's time? (letting a dog go)

Twiggbuster

Senior Member
It's a tough decision for sure.
One none of us want face but have to take all into consideration to decide what is right.
Our little friends deserve it.
 

Robert28

Senior Member
I had to put my chocolate lab of 11 years down last May. Almost 3 weeks ago I had to put my 12 year old English bulldog down. The kick in the pants was they fell on the exact same date, exactly a year apart (May 15). Regret has been eating at me for a year about my chocolate lab and now it's double with my English bulldog. I second guess myself every day even though I knew there was nothing more I could do, I still hate myself though. Nothing anyone can say makes you feel better, I even hate being at my house because that's when it's the hardest. I probably got 4 hours sleep total in 2 weeks after my bulldog, I drank a lot of beer and just sat in my chair in silence for hours upon hours. I kept telling myself I wish I was dead, wasn't even afraid of dying anymore, just take me out of this world and let me go be with my dogs. I was literally begging God. I was in a bad place. You do a lot of thinking and second guessing yourself though, I know that. Did I do everything I could, why didn't I catch it sooner and maybe he could have been saved even though he was really old for a bulldog, I want to punch my vet in the face, why does God put all this grief on me like he's singling me out, etc. It's weird but I haven't cried much since my bulldog passed, but it's eating me alive inside. Maybe it's too much to cry, who knows.

It's true what they say, dogs give you some of the best days of your life and one of the absolute worst days of your life.
 
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pine nut

Senior Member
I practiced Vet med for forty years and if I were to counsel you I would say to sit down for a few minutes with your dog and just talk out loud to them. Think about the quality of life they have, and if you can honestly answer that they are still enjoying life instead of enduring life then I'd say not yet, but if they are enduring it, then it is time. Not eating or drinking means it is also time if there does not seem to be a "fixable" problem. I coached parents to level and be truthful with the children... lie to a kid and they'll never trust you again. However a very common mistake I saw a lot and tried to head off when discussing the euthanasia problem with kids is to say something like this, "We're going to have to put Butch to sleep because he is in pain and we can't help him, ok?" NEVER ask a kid that "OK?" They will feel the entire weight of that giving their permission!!! This is an adult decision, and so the adults must be clear and not ask for a child to agree. They will accept it, your decision, even though they wont' like it. It is not easy to do that so think and prepare for avoiding that "OK?" thing ahead of time. Many parents especially these days seem to need their kid's permission to do anything, but it is a mistake.
Lastly keep in mind that an animal only shows pain when they cannot help it. Everyone tries to act "natural" as if nothing is wrong and particularly in the animal world, because when you are small and there are bigger things around like predators you/they want to look fit. Yep we do it too. Predators look for easy pickin's so to speak.
Deciding when is always a difficult job for owners and Vets too. It is the pitts for everyone concerned, but the Bible in the 1st chapter of Genesis tells us that man is given dominion over the animals. That means to me that we are as responsible for not doing the things we should for them as we are for caring for them. It is a double edged sword, this dominion, We do not want them to suffer, but we don't want to make that tough decision either. I believe with all my heart that death is not the worst thing that can happen to us, or to them, and I also believe that euthanasia is the last KIND thing you can do for your pet. You certainly are not doing it for your self, and that hole in your heart this process will create, tells you that is true. You are in effect saying, "I will hurt and miss you, but I have to let you go so you won't hurt anymore." Sign to papers and do it when your conversation with them says it's time. By all means, even if you and everybody present is going to blubber, stay with them until it is over. Believe me, I cried over a many a patient I had cared for too. They trust you to do the right thing and you need to stay to help them be assured that you are with them. I believe it helps you to accept your loss and comforts you to know you stuck by their side. You are doing something for them they can't do for themselves, and you are setting them free from their misery. I sincerely hope this helps all of you when that time comes, because for most everyone it is THE most difficult decision of your life. God Bless all of you. Wm. M. Knight D.V.M. retired
 

pine nut

Senior Member
I see a lot of suffering in some posts above mine, and those are common feelings for everyone, but who among us has not been comforted by our dog when we were in the pitts? Mine always sense when I'm depressed and will try to lift my spirits or just lay beside me and help me with their presence. Think about this, please. If they are that way in life, they will not want you to suffer from their passing! I happen to believe there is a heaven for dogs too. Now I don't know for sure and the only reference I can think of is the Bible says the lion and the lamb will lie down together, so I choose to believe like that. Now stay with me a bit here, and lets just say there is and that your dog is watchin you suffer from there. I'll bet he still doesn't want you to suffer, and just maybe he feels like he failed you. If he had done his job well you'd want another dog! I want to tell you that we as humans have an unlimited supply of love, plenty to share (!) and I learned that all of my dogs are still in my heart sitting side by side! I can go back in my mind and remember every one of them and enjoy their presence. No, I cant have them back but I can smile believing I will have them around me again just as I will have loved ones again too. All that to say this: There never has been a pup that couldn't squirm up in your lap, lick your face, and not make a smile come to your face. Go get another dog!!!! There are thousands that will love you and you love them! Love is unlimited and they need it as badly as you do. Their antics and joy will serve to remind you daily of the ones that couldn't stay , but never the less loved you so. Yes something will happen to all of them sooner or later, but answer this... Where are you going to get what they give you with all their heart? Where? Now I'm crying tooo. God be with you.
 
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