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Old 11-09-2013, 10:22 AM
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Default Help with in-laws mess

I need some advice. Both of my in-laws are in the nursing home and we need to get their house rented. We need to generate some money for their bills and straightening out the title on the house. The problem is that they were semi-hoarders and the house is full of stuff. How do these estate sales work? My wife has one brother and he just wants his Dad's dog tags, if we can find them, but she has a sister that is a bit more difficult. I thought about putting her stuff into storage and letting her pay the bill. Thanks for any advice.
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Old 11-09-2013, 11:47 AM
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I've given this some thought as I get older. My suggestions: 1. Get all the heirs together, give them positions (oldest to youngest, draw straws, etc.) let each pick one item (matched sets being one item such as bedroom set, etc.) Keep doing this round-robin until they have gotten the stuff they want. 2. Contact an estate-auction company. They will come in and handle the sale of everything else. 3. Tell the sister that wants the stuff to take it home or arrange her own storage or that it will be put in the auction.

Good luck, these things seem to always to end with someone getting their feelings hurt. We had an estate sale when we put my stepfather in the nursing home. His son was outside talking when some tools were auctioned off and was upset that he didn't get his dads old tools. What he apparently didn't know was that I was with his dad when he bought the tools at an auction about 5 years earlier! Family heirlooms they were not!
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Old 11-09-2013, 12:44 PM
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Google Cherry Hill at the Mill and give them a call
They do estate sales all over and have a mall here in monroe.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by SGADawg View Post
I've given this some thought as I get older. My suggestions: 1. Get all the heirs together, give them positions (oldest to youngest, draw straws, etc.) let each pick one item (matched sets being one item such as bedroom set, etc.) Keep doing this round-robin until they have gotten the stuff they want. 2. Contact an estate-auction company. They will come in and handle the sale of everything else. 3. Tell the sister that wants the stuff to take it home or arrange her own storage or that it will be put in the auction.

Good luck, these things seem to always to end with someone getting their feelings hurt. We had an estate sale when we put my stepfather in the nursing home. His son was outside talking when some tools were auctioned off and was upset that he didn't get his dads old tools. What he apparently didn't know was that I was with his dad when he bought the tools at an auction about 5 years earlier! Family heirlooms they were not!
Give each child/grandchild in order of age the opportunity to choose one item they can physically tote out with two hands.

Auction everything else. Anything anyone really wants they can bid in and feel good about contributing to the welfare of the parents.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimamicalola View Post
I need some advice. Both of my in-laws are in the nursing home and we need to get their house rented. We need to generate some money for their bills and straightening out the title on the house. The problem is that they were semi-hoarders and the house is full of stuff. How do these estate sales work? My wife has one brother and he just wants his Dad's dog tags, if we can find them, but she has a sister that is a bit more difficult. I thought about putting her stuff into storage and letting her pay the bill. Thanks for any advice.
Someone needs to get a power of attorney or a guardianship. Otherwise you are dealing with property that is not yours. No responsible dealer will deal with you until you have the authority to dispose of the property.

Estate sales work because there is an estate, which someone has control of.
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Old 11-09-2013, 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted by The Longhunter View Post
Someone needs to get a power of attorney or a guardianship. Otherwise you are dealing with property that is not yours. No responsible dealer will deal with you until you have the authority to dispose of the property.

Estate sales work because there is an estate, which someone has control of.


X-200!!!!!!!!!!!!

You may be better off with weekly yard sales until you
reach a manageable level of possessions.....Estate Sales
companies usually only deal with more valuable items,
Not just "hoarded" stuff.....
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Old 11-09-2013, 04:45 PM
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Thanks for all of the advice. My wife does have their power of attorney.
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Old 11-09-2013, 06:21 PM
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Just be prepared. Family members tend to change personalities when there is any money or potential money involved. They are not the people they pretend to be.
Good luck but be on guard.
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:08 PM
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This ^ x 1000
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:17 PM
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My grandfather recently had an estate sale. He had lived in his house over 60 years and sold almost everything. I think he netted about $250. I would sell as much on your own as you can or let people you know and care for have what they want. I had to clean out my wives parents and grandmothers houses. I ended up renting a dumpster and positioning it in front of the front door. Unfortunately, a lot of what people keep over the years has no value except to them.
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Old 11-12-2013, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by jimamicalola View Post
Thanks for all of the advice. My wife does have their power of attorney.
In that case, she should develop a plan, and stick with it, and just be prepared for all the kvetching.

Just a note: she might start looking to obtaining a guardianship, as the POA may become invalid if either becomes incompetent.

I've been involved in estate sales professionally and personally, and absolutely, as far as the personal property (household furnishings and such) are concerned, I'd contract with one of the estate sale/auction companies and be done with it. The said truth is that most households are worth very little in total value (a few hundred dollars total). It doesn't matter if grandpa brought it bck from the war or what. Personally, I'm not set up to sit there all day and deal with people wanting to know if I'll take a quarter instead of 50 cents.
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Old 11-14-2013, 08:45 PM
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how about this?

go to a number of yard sales in your area first? maybe 20 or so.

talk to the folks running them. listen to them. ask questions.

see what sells and what they get for it.

and, keep your money in the car, or you'll come home with
more stuff that you 'can't live without'.

i've been going to and having yard sales for over 50 years.
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Old 11-15-2013, 03:57 PM
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I would tread carefully where the sister-in-law is concerned. If she feels like you are forcing her into something, she'll resent it, you'll hear about it the rest of your life, and she'll make any other decisions regarding her parents as difficult as she possibly can. You're going to need her on your side at a some point during all this.

I would have your wife sit down with her sister and discuss what her concerns and wants are vs. the reality of needing to sell some things and get the estate in order. Maybe she's just upset she didn't get the power of attorney, or needs a little more time to wrap her head around the fact that her parents aren't in their home anymore.

I'd also consider getting an antiques dealer/estate sales person to do a quick walk-thru, I've been doing a little side work for couple of folks in the business and you wouldn't believe what some of the things you or I would look at and consider junk are worth on the antique/collector market.

Last edited by Dr. Strangelove; 11-15-2013 at 05:19 PM.
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