Cowboy jokes

[LOVEMYLABXS]

A cowboy rides into town in the Wild West and shoots an artist.
The sheriff ask him "Why did you do that?"
The cowboy says
" I thought he was going to draw first." drum roll

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely had they just made the towns bigger ... drum roll


Q. Where do cowboys cook their meals?

A. On the range.... drum roll..

I'm directing a cowboy film called " The Sun"

It's set in the west... drum roll.


A tough old cowboy from Texas one day told his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long lifethe secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously untill the age of 103 when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 25 great- great-grandchildren,
And a 40foot hole where the creamatorium use to be.... drum roll

 

[NE GA Pappy]

A police officer saw a man dressed as a cowboy

in the street, complete with huge stetson hat, spurs, and six
shooters.
"Excuse me, sir," said the police officer, "who are
you?"
"My name's Tex, officer," said the cowboy.
" eh?" said the police
officer, "Are you from Texas?"
"Nope, Louisiana."
"Louisiana? So
why are you called Tex?"
"Cause I didn't want to be called Louise"

 

[dixiecutter]

Two cowboys came up on a Indian laying on his belly with his ear to the ground.

"You see that Indian?"

"Yeah"

"He's listening to the ground. They can hear things for miles in any direction."

Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"

The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."

 

[NE GA Pappy]

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his
first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park
my old truck in the corral," Joe began.
"You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more
worldly fellow.
"I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued.
"The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him.
"Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on.
"That would be the usher," Charlie explained.
"Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said.
"You mean the aisle," Charlie said.
"Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued.
"Pew," Charlie retorted.
"Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said
when I sat down beside her."

 

[Oldstick]

An old cowboy walks into the giant Super Walmarks for the first time ever, looking for some saddle soap. He asks a young pimple faced clerk for help. Impressed the lad says "Golly gee, mister are you a real cowboy??" then starts quizzing him on his outfit.

Hat? That's to keep the hot sun off our heads out on the range.
Bandana? That's to cover up our necks and face in case of a big dust storm
Chaps? Protects our legs from chapping riding horses for hours.


But then, how come I see you are wearing tennis shoes??
That's so no one mistakes me for one of them danged ol' truck drivers.