Forgiveness

Thread starter #1

1gr8bldr

Senior Member
In another thread, different forum, we are talking about forgiveness. I would like to know how the secular world handles forgiveness. Christians, I assume forgive over time, minor offenses. My question, does the secular world do the same? I ask because I have an assumption... that we are no different than everybody else. The question points out minor offenses. Things that make you mad, things that hurt, things that cost you, but not major offenses like death, rape, violence. This we will proceed to in later post
 

Spotlite

Senior Member
Christians are actually taught to forgive - minor / major isn’t an option. I’ve never been faced with anything major so I can only assume that it will definitely take time. Major, I’m going with your examples of death, rape and violence.
 

ambush80

Senior Member
I have been persuaded by the argument that forgiveness heals oneself and that's the greatest reason to practice it. I have seen its effects in other people and in myself. It can also heal the relationships that were valued before whatever happened to cause the strife.
 

Spotlite

Senior Member
Time heals all wounds
Time doesn’t heal anything. It helps you learn to deal with it. But sometimes you just gotta shake a mans hand and say it’s water under the bridge.

Forgiveness doesn’t even require a man to be spiritual.
 
Time doesn’t heal anything. It helps you learn to deal with it. But sometimes you just gotta shake a mans hand and say it’s water under the bridge.

Forgiveness doesn’t even require a man to be spiritual.
It just depends on the infraction. Most of the time, if they were friends, I don't forgive since I really don't need those kind of folks in my life. Accidental infractions I forgive. I guess the point is, I don't automatically resort to forgiveness just for the sake of it. Now, if the person is truly sorry and asks to be forgiven, I will...most of the time. That being said, I don't walk around with anger and hate either. I put the infraction and the person in the way back of my mind. A 'Frozen' song comes to mind. :)
 
Thread starter #10
I have trouble letting things go. I can move on, and be civil, but it does damage to my outlook on life. I hunker down, my circle becoming smaller and smaller, my faith in my fellow man diminished. I "stew" over things, ready to pounce at the next similar provocation. Most times, I'm caught so off guard that I fail to deal with it at the moment and live in regret that I did not stuff it back down their throat right then, setting it straight, right then. But 10 minutes later, when it sets in what they said, it's seemingly to late. I realize that I have missed my only opportunity. Now, I'm to mad. My teeth are grinding, my adrenaline to high, and I will do something stupid that I will regret. I'll go ahead and tell you one of them. 2 years ago I had a long time friend, who adjoins my 750 acre hunting lease that I alone have leased since 1988. He called me up over a deer I had shot, one I elected to hunt after due to his age and lack of a rack, wishing to remove him from the gene pool. I killed him with a handgun after having only switched to a handgun after having elbow problems from to much construction resulting in 2 surgery's... from hunting exclusively with a recurve for 8 years. I have not carried a rifle in over 12 years now. I had killed 2 bucks in 10 years and he has the nerve to call me out on this, saying, "why should we let them go if your just going to shoot them". This coming from someone whom had already shot a buck that season, his son, having killed his 2 bucks this year and per year for as long as i could remember. I went from hunting every chance I could get, to 2 sittings in 2018 to zero this year. Sounds insignificant, I know. But after having let 1000 bucks go in 10 years, after being a great neighbor, after my 17 year old son went that season without even shooting a buck, but electing to let them grow, just videoing, some he really should have shot, but content that he could have, I was mad. The rage came from.... not that I was mad that you say something to me, but rather the injustice of it all. Had you not noticed... that your crowd was the one shooting 2.5 times more than my lease. Had you not noticed that I was a good neighbor... I never hunted the property lines... I did not bring guest.... I never shot anything, who actually wants to kill deer if they carry a recurve... All the times his son's killed deer that I had let walk previously... that was the plan. "Let the boy's shoot them". I could go on and on how it hurt, how it cut like a knife, how drama had come into deer camp. Ruining the comraditry. As the matriarch of this friend group of hunters with adjoining property, when drama entered the camp, he missed his chance to snuff it out, but rather joined in, and made the call to me, to call me out on it. I have gotten over it. However it will never be the same. I have quit deer hunting, because this robbed my joy and moved me farther into a protective state. One will say that I should get over it, go back to hunting, yet it's not that easy. That desire is just gone.
 
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I have trouble letting things go. I can move on, and be civil, but it does damage to my outlook on life. I hunker down, my circle becoming smaller and smaller, my faith in my fellow man diminished. I "stew" over things, ready to pounce at the next similar provocation. Most times, I'm caught so off guard that I fail to deal with it at the moment and live in regret that I did not stuff it back down their throat right then, setting it straight, right then. But 10 minutes later, when it sets in what they said, it's seemingly to late. I realize that I have missed my only opportunity. Now, I'm to mad. My teeth are grinding, my adrenaline to high, and I will do something stupid that I will regret. I'll go ahead and tell you one of them. 2 years ago I had a long time friend, who adjoins my 750 acre hunting lease that I alone have leased since 1988. He called me up over a deer I had shot, one I elected to hunt after due to his age and lack of a rack, wishing to remove him from the gene pool. I killed him with a handgun after having only switched to a handgun after having elbow problems from to much construction resulting in 2 surgery's... from hunting exclusively with a recurve for 8 years. I have not carried a rifle in over 12 years now. I had killed 2 bucks in 10 years and he has the nerve to call me out on this, saying, "why should we let them go if your just going to shoot them". This coming from someone whom had already shot a buck that season, his son, having killed his 2 bucks this year and per year for as long as i could remember. I went from hunting every chance I could get, to 2 sittings in 2018 to zero this year. Sounds insignificant, I know. But after having let 1000 bucks go in 10 years, after being a great neighbor, after my 17 year old son went that season without even shooting a buck, but electing to let them grow, just videoing, some he really should have shot, but content that he could have, I was mad. The rage came from.... not that I was mad that you say something to me, but rather the injustice of it all. Had you not noticed... that your crowd was the one shooting 2.5 times more than my lease. Had you not noticed that I was a good neighbor... I never hunted the property lines... I did not bring guest.... I never shot anything, who actually wants to kill deer if they carry a recurve... All the times his son's killed deer that I had let walk previously... that was the plan. "Let the boy's shoot them". I could go on and on how it hurt, how it cut like a knife, how drama had come into deer camp. Ruining the comraditry. As the matriarch of this friend group of hunters with adjoining property, when drama entered the camp, he missed his chance to snuff it out, but rather joined in, and made the call to me, to call me out on it. I have gotten over it. However it will never be the same. I have quit deer hunting, because this robbed my joy and moved me farther into a protective state. One will say that I should get over it, go back to hunting, yet it's not that easy. That desire is just gone.
I think scripture is a guide for humans to aim for. The rules, laws, etc. We all know that deep down none of us can live up to it. We still have lust in our hearts and jealousy, etc. Greed, anger, hatred.

I imagine we all struggle with various sins and even assume our sins aren't as bad as those others are committing. I personally struggle with lust. I could say God made me a man, so why is lust a sin?"

Take alcoholism, if it's an addiction, why is it a sin? If some men go to their grave and never overcome, why? Doesn't God know we have an additive behavior?

It's almost like we are more animal than human. We have a survival instinct. If we forgive, we get screwed again. If we continue to help others, we our selves could struggle in the future. If we have no pride and must be humble, how can we make it in a Capitalist society? If we don't cheat just a tiny bit, how can we make it in a Capitalist society?

Even just being a Christian could hamper our very existence in a Capitalist society. Look at the difference on how the Christians talk and think on the Political forum? It's like everything goes agaisnt how we are suppose to act and live as a Christian.

I'm not sure what the answer is myself. I'm torn between giving and taking. If I forgive everyone, I'll soon be broke. If I help everyone, I'll soon be without. If I'm meek and humble, I can't compete.
 
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We still have lust in our hearts and jealousy, etc. Greed, anger, hatred.

I'm not sure what the answer is myself. I'm torn between giving and taking. If I forgive everyone, I'll soon be broke. If I help everyone, I'll soon be without. If I'm meek and humble, I can't compete.
When it robs your peace of mind.......

What will it take to get that back? What needs to happen for you to have the ability to run into a person that crossed / cost you, and not let their offensive act eat your lunch all over again?? If it doesn’t bother you, it’s gone anyway.
 
Thread starter #13
I think scripture is a guide for humans to aim for. The rules, laws, etc. We all know that deep down none of us can live up to it. We still have lust in our hearts and jealousy, etc. Greed, anger, hatred.

I imagine we all struggle with various sins and even assume our sins aren't as bad as those others are committing. I personally struggle with lust. I could say God made me a man, so why is lust a sin?"

Take alcoholism, if it's an addiction, why is it a sin? If some men go to their grave and never overcome, why? Doesn't God know we have an additive behavior?

It's almost like we are more animal than human. We have a survival instinct. If we forgive, we get screwed again. If we continue to help others, we our selves could struggle in the future. If we have no pride and must be humble, how can we make it in a Capitalist society? If we don't cheat just a tiny bit, how can we make it in a Capitalist society?

Even just being a Christian could hamper our very existence in a Capitalist society. Look at the difference on how the Christians talk and think on the Political forum? It's like everything goes agaisnt how we are suppose to act and live as a Christian.

I'm not sure what the answer is myself. I'm torn between giving and taking. If I forgive everyone, I'll soon be broke. If I help everyone, I'll soon be without. If I'm meek and humble, I can't compete.
"Who will save me from this body of death". We have a human nature that we, are not responsible for. We were made that way. Our goal is not to feed that nature. We were made to have attraction for women, women made attractive, etc. We should not look at porn, feeding that nature, but can and do have eyes to notice all of God's beautiful creatures. Luckily I have a beautiful loving wife of whom is the recipient of my inner God given desires, the way it was designed to be. LOL, I used to turn my head away as I approached and passed a female jogger as I drove down the road. That's bondage, not freedom in Christ. However, not that I do it.... but I think the Christian mindset is that... so what in this life, it's temporal, as Paul never had the pleasure of a wife, giving that up for the sake of the coming, better life. If we really believe what we confess, about eternal life, we are not good investors. But then, what's the verse... It's my pleasure to give you good things saith the Lord. I am afraid my reward in heaven will be very little because I have invested most in this life. I'll be happy just getting in :)
 
It just depends on the infraction. Most of the time, if they were friends, I don't forgive since I really don't need those kind of folks in my life. Accidental infractions I forgive. I guess the point is, I don't automatically resort to forgiveness just for the sake of it. Now, if the person is truly sorry and asks to be forgiven, I will...most of the time. That being said, I don't walk around with anger and hate either. I put the infraction and the person in the way back of my mind. A 'Frozen' song comes to mind. :)
To truly "Let it go" you have to forgive.

It's a simple cost/benefit analysis for me. Is there a cost for me to harbor the anger or hatred or shame? Is it worth it?
 
To truly "Let it go" you have to forgive.

It's a simple cost/benefit analysis for me. Is there a cost for me to harbor the anger or hatred or shame? Is it worth it?
I am not sure there is really such a thing as 'truly' forgiving...for me anyways. Even if I say it, the issue is always there. So, my 'let it go', is that I don't think about it a lot, or plot revenge. I still haven't forgiven a guy that took a nickel off the pool table from me in 1985. I was next! Anyway, he took my nickel to complete his needed change to play next. We had words and nickels came to me from every direction. Dang, now I thought about it and it bothers me again.
 
I am not sure there is really such a thing as 'truly' forgiving...for me anyways. Even if I say it, the issue is always there. So, my 'let it go', is that I don't think about it a lot, or plot revenge. I still haven't forgiven a guy that took a nickel off the pool table from me in 1985. I was next! Anyway, he took my nickel to complete his needed change to play next. We had words and nickels came to me from every direction. Dang, now I thought about it and it bothers me again.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:(Not meaning to make light of your point, but that’s hilarious and real at the same time)
 
:rofl::rofl::rofl:(Not meaning to make light of your point, but that’s hilarious and real at the same time)
It is hilarious now. When I think about all the folks yelling, "Let him go! Here is a nickel!" Good times. He never gave me my nickel though. :( I was extracted from the situation before I could get it.
 
Thread starter #18
It is hilarious now. When I think about all the folks yelling, "Let him go! Here is a nickel!" Good times. He never gave me my nickel though. :( I was extracted from the situation before I could get it.
Many gunfights have broke out over less
 
It is hilarious now. When I think about all the folks yelling, "Let him go! Here is a nickel!" Good times. He never gave me my nickel though. :( I was extracted from the situation before I could get it.
What would or could have happened had you just accepted a nickel from one of the others? That person possibly never thinks about that moment. Yet you do and still get hot about it. Could that person had learned something from that event had you just done as Elsa?
 
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