Useles Billy needs #898 days to prepare for Christmas.

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Or dealing with the coyotes that follow the calving cows around.
 
Or the milk cow that sticks its foot in the bucket and kicks it over.
 
Bears and cows don't play well together, either. Or the neighbor's bunch of old mangy dogs.
 
Or you hang your $80 Carharrt coat on a fence post and a cow eats it.
 
Cows will eat anything. As long as it's something you don't want them to eat. Cows suck.
 
I won't even go into the dairy cows. They want milked at 5 in the morning.
 
My mama said when she was little, a cow ate her Easter bonnet and made her cry.
 
Mama has ated a lot of cows over the years, though.
 
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