NE GA Pappy
Mr. Pappy
I am sitting in a hotel room, waiting for the clock to circle around to 10am so I can go start a preventative chemo treatment. I had a port put in today, and slept most of the afternoon, so sleep isn't coming easily.
As I lay in bed, praying and thinking, I began to wonder about the future, and how I had lived my live so far. I can tell you there are things I think I did extremely well, things I failed at miserably, and things that were so mediocre that it would scare you. I began to think about my youth and how it was spent, and I realized I just don't have as long on this earth as I already seen.
There is so much more I want to experience and accomplish before this life exchanges for eternity. I have so much to do. I am not building a bucket list, but I am taking stock of what I feel important events that I would like to see.
#1, I haven't been as radical for God as I should have been. I have been a christian for over 45 years, but most of the time it has been a run of the mill, mediocre walk. I haven't spent enough time studying, enough time praying, and enough time talking to others about what I believe.
#2, I have 9 grandbabies that I desperately want to see grown, fulfilling the calling in their lives, and being a change agent in this world. I want to install a love for God and His word early in their lives.
#3, I need to be a better husband. Sometimes I take my wife for granted, and don't show her the love and support she deserves. We had a short courtship, and I proposed to her on our second date. That was how comfortable she made me feel in our relationship. No other woman could have ever been the soulmate she has been. We have been married over 38 years now, and I need to let her know how much those years have meant to me.
#4, I need to take better care of myself. I think I came to the realization that I wasn't invincible at a fairly young age, 23, when my appendix ruptured, and the quack I went to couldn't diagnosis it. I walked around with a ruptured appendix for over 2 weeks before I found a doctor that had the instinct to diagnosis my problem. My appendix pointed toward the front of my body, rather than the standard rear facing appendix. That is why I am here today. It formed a pocket against my abdomen, and that kept the infection from spreading through my intestines and killing me. That is a lot for a young man with a 6 month old baby girl to absorb.
Since then, there have been other issues, but nothing major until I had to have quadruple bypass in 2015. There were no issues that gave a hint of a problem. I felt weird one day, and had little muscle knots in my left arm. I went to the hospital, and they told me my heart had gotten out of rhythm. I got a shot, and in 30 minutes felt great. They kept me over night for a heart cath, just to make sure everything was ok. The cath showed blockages of about 40 percent that couldn't be fixed with a stent because of their location, so boom... next day, Pappy was a open heart surgery patient.
I went in April of this year for a routine colonoscopy, and the doctor found a lesion, about the size of a nickel, that they biopsied. The test results came back inconclusive, so another biopsy was done, that also came back inconclusive. The doctor said it needed to come out. I ended up in CTCA in Newnan for scans. It was determined that I had a T2,N0,M0 tumor. I went for 28 days of chemo and radiation. Monday thru Friday, for five and a half weeks straight. 8 weeks later, a bowel resection where they took out about a foot of my lower intestine. The lymph nodes they removed during that surgery showed 3 or 4 positive indications, so now the doctors want a 4 month chemo preventative program to just about half the chances of a re-occorrence of the tumor. It will be 8 treatments, every other week, where I will be hooked to an infusion pump for 48 hours straight.
Anyway, as all these thought are being processed in my sleepless mind, I found myself thinking of the future and what it holds. Regardless, I know my Redeemer lives, and I know where I will spend eternity. My God is not a god of chance or trial and error. He is supreme and loves me more than I can even understand.
My biggest disappointment is not living my life as though I could be gone tomorrow. God knows my heart, and I want to do a better job of showing His love to others. If you feel led, this is the prayer that I would like prayed for me, that I become a radical believer that is not afraid to step out of my comfort zone to reach other for Christ.
If I can do a better job at this and the things I listed above, my life will have been a success.
When you think of your life, what would you change? Are you satisfied with the way you have lived it, or what would you change?
As I lay in bed, praying and thinking, I began to wonder about the future, and how I had lived my live so far. I can tell you there are things I think I did extremely well, things I failed at miserably, and things that were so mediocre that it would scare you. I began to think about my youth and how it was spent, and I realized I just don't have as long on this earth as I already seen.
There is so much more I want to experience and accomplish before this life exchanges for eternity. I have so much to do. I am not building a bucket list, but I am taking stock of what I feel important events that I would like to see.
#1, I haven't been as radical for God as I should have been. I have been a christian for over 45 years, but most of the time it has been a run of the mill, mediocre walk. I haven't spent enough time studying, enough time praying, and enough time talking to others about what I believe.
#2, I have 9 grandbabies that I desperately want to see grown, fulfilling the calling in their lives, and being a change agent in this world. I want to install a love for God and His word early in their lives.
#3, I need to be a better husband. Sometimes I take my wife for granted, and don't show her the love and support she deserves. We had a short courtship, and I proposed to her on our second date. That was how comfortable she made me feel in our relationship. No other woman could have ever been the soulmate she has been. We have been married over 38 years now, and I need to let her know how much those years have meant to me.
#4, I need to take better care of myself. I think I came to the realization that I wasn't invincible at a fairly young age, 23, when my appendix ruptured, and the quack I went to couldn't diagnosis it. I walked around with a ruptured appendix for over 2 weeks before I found a doctor that had the instinct to diagnosis my problem. My appendix pointed toward the front of my body, rather than the standard rear facing appendix. That is why I am here today. It formed a pocket against my abdomen, and that kept the infection from spreading through my intestines and killing me. That is a lot for a young man with a 6 month old baby girl to absorb.
Since then, there have been other issues, but nothing major until I had to have quadruple bypass in 2015. There were no issues that gave a hint of a problem. I felt weird one day, and had little muscle knots in my left arm. I went to the hospital, and they told me my heart had gotten out of rhythm. I got a shot, and in 30 minutes felt great. They kept me over night for a heart cath, just to make sure everything was ok. The cath showed blockages of about 40 percent that couldn't be fixed with a stent because of their location, so boom... next day, Pappy was a open heart surgery patient.
I went in April of this year for a routine colonoscopy, and the doctor found a lesion, about the size of a nickel, that they biopsied. The test results came back inconclusive, so another biopsy was done, that also came back inconclusive. The doctor said it needed to come out. I ended up in CTCA in Newnan for scans. It was determined that I had a T2,N0,M0 tumor. I went for 28 days of chemo and radiation. Monday thru Friday, for five and a half weeks straight. 8 weeks later, a bowel resection where they took out about a foot of my lower intestine. The lymph nodes they removed during that surgery showed 3 or 4 positive indications, so now the doctors want a 4 month chemo preventative program to just about half the chances of a re-occorrence of the tumor. It will be 8 treatments, every other week, where I will be hooked to an infusion pump for 48 hours straight.
Anyway, as all these thought are being processed in my sleepless mind, I found myself thinking of the future and what it holds. Regardless, I know my Redeemer lives, and I know where I will spend eternity. My God is not a god of chance or trial and error. He is supreme and loves me more than I can even understand.
My biggest disappointment is not living my life as though I could be gone tomorrow. God knows my heart, and I want to do a better job of showing His love to others. If you feel led, this is the prayer that I would like prayed for me, that I become a radical believer that is not afraid to step out of my comfort zone to reach other for Christ.
If I can do a better job at this and the things I listed above, my life will have been a success.
When you think of your life, what would you change? Are you satisfied with the way you have lived it, or what would you change?
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