Kerry and the sheep

Thread starter #1

Howard Roark

Retired Moderator
The Roanoke Times ^ | October 14, 2004 | Brian Gottstein

If John Kerry gets elected president, then I’m going to finally give in and add a Kerry technique to my political consulting repertoire. The technique will be one in which my candidate adopts all sides of an issue – pro and con. I don’t care if some closed-minded people would consider that wrong or unethical, it’s what has to be done to win.

Besides, if someone who has made it to the honored position of candidate for the highest, most revered office in the land is doing it, it must be okay, right?

After watching the presidential campaign coverage for the last several months and the final debate last night, I have come to one conclusion: The American electorate is so full of sheep, that they’ll believe anything the liberal Democrats and the media feed them.

These sheep don’t look at campaign issues, they don’t separate the truth from the lies, and they ignore the flip-flops.

They watch these debates and come away saying that John Kerry has all the right answers.

Of course, he has all the right answers! That’s because at one time or another, he has claimed all the possible answers to every question! He will even give two contradictory answers, just so he can be on your side at least 50 percent of the time. All the sheep have to do is listen for the 50 percent of the answers they agree with, and they seem to be happy.

Just as a broken clock that’s stuck at 5:17 shows the right time twice a day, Kerry can espouse all the wrong answers every other minute of the day, but when he gets to an answer the sheep like, they think, “This guy is right!”

He’s for the Second Amendment, but he votes for gun control. He’s for the war in Iraq, but he’s also against the war. He’s for fiscal responsibility and no more taxes for the middle class, but he has voted for more than 90 tax increases. And the list goes on.

It used to be that to win votes, politicians told one group at a rally one thing, and told another group at a second rally the opposite. In the old days, sometimes they would get caught by the press, and it would be a little embarrassing.

Today, John Kerry can contradict himself twice in the same debate and give two answers to the same question, yet the press seldom makes a peep.

If I ever run for office, I think I’ll try his technique. I’ll tell people I’m a Libertarian. The people with half a brain will know that means I’m an advocate for small government, personal freedom and free enterprise. But I’ll go around to my rallies and press conferences and espouse the different answers that will get me votes with the sheep. I’ll openly contradict myself. I’ll promise the world.

If talk to environmentalists, I will say I’m for getting rid of industry, and if I talk to industry, I will say I’m for getting rid of those burdensome environmental regulations. The sheep from both sides will say, “He agrees with me! He’s got my vote!”

The people with half a brain will know that I’m really a Libertarian, and I’m for smaller government, so they’ll vote for me, too. They’ll know that I’m just saying all those things to get elected.

I’ll get all the votes. I’ll win by a landslide. I think it could work.

Now to test the theory.

If there’s a Libertarian or conservative Republican candidate out there who wants to run for local or state office, who wants to work with me to put this theory to the test, I’ll run your campaign for you.

(Liberal Democrats need not apply – you guys have plenty of practice at this already.)

Finally, remember that sheep can no longer be considered cuddly – they’re dangerous to the future of the free world. It’s imperative that Republicans and Libertarians learn to lie better and make more empty promises than the Democrats to herd the sheep to our side.

And don’t worry – if their history with the Democrats tells us anything, it shows that sheep’s memories are short. So by the next election, they’ll forget how much we deceived them and they’ll be eating out of our hands all over again.


Senior Member
well I'll be.


Gone But Not Forgotten
Hopefully our 3 to 4 demos read this article. They have been giving us so much crap about us being sheep just because we believe Bush is the better choice. The truth is we have enough sense to not vote for Kerry, its not that we are blindly following the President. There really is not a choice this year. Bush is the only one that can contnue to lead our country. Kerry is not a choice. He does not have what it takes to run this country and fight terrorism. He has a 9-10-2001 mentality.