Lone Ranger

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bilgerat

Senior Member
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the deseert. After they got their tent put together they
setteled down for the evening. A few hours later Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger up and says, "Kemo
Sabe, look toward the sky---what you see?
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What they tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time
wise it tells me it is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the
Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant., Meterologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment then says, "Kemo Sabe, you one big dumby .
SOMEONE HAS STOLEN OUR TENT
 

Toliver

Senior Member
Tonto was not stupid......

That very next morning, they woke to that beautiful day that Lone Ranger had predicted. He also woke to the call of nature. So he walked around to the other side of a big rock. When he pulled down his britches and copped a squat, a big ol' Western Timberdiamond canebreak rattler snake bit him right square on the left buttock cheek. He yelled for Tonto. "Tonto, ride like the wind into town and ask the doctor what to do!!!" Tonto rides like the wind and finds the doctor. "Doc, Lone Ranger was bit by Cottonheaded Copper Mocassin. How do I save my bestest buddy?" Doc says, "You gotta cut an X in the bite and suck out the poison." Tonto then rides like a cool evening breeze back to the scene of the crime. When he arrives, Lone Ranger asks, "Well!! What did the doctor say?" Tonto said, "Doctor says you gonna die Kemosabe!!!"
 

Toliver

Senior Member
coon dawg said:
" I said get a POSSE!!" :D :D
I can't believe y'all let these classics slip away!!
 
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