Israel
BANNED
Those places where considerations and conversations take place before we share them; where things that "bubble up" from the depths we cannot plumb suddenly burst in conscious idea and thoughts, and are either pursued or judged. Where we think about our thoughts, ruminate over them, speak to ourselves of their either value or corruption, are frightened or intrigued by them and where, ultimately, decision is made to act upon or share them. Or seek their discard. We believe they are ours to do with as we will. They seem...in every way our own. Un-witnessed but by us, unknown but by us, and judged...only by us.
Oh, but we are strange creatures in our assumptions! Strange in having them, made stranger still in their abundance, and even yet made stranger in a blithe acceptance to their ignoring. We think so many things are "one way" to us according to these assumptions; as a whole house is built upon a foundation that to each seems as level as can be, and goes up according to that level into that tower within we know as ourselves. And live in. And for the most part, despite the tenuous manner in which rooms are added to rooms, level added to level, we think ourselves sort of monolithic. I am "one" person. One in number and one in unity with myself. I am one I tell myself! I am me. And beside me there is no other...like me.
At least until a moment. And a moment like no other. An intrusion; even invader if you will, who shakes the very foundations of ourselves. Not merely upsetting our assumptions, but upending them as a plow turns the ground beneath the growing grass below its roots and exposes them to the withering light and heat of day. How shallowly we have entrusted ourselves to our being, how nakedly now is made clear we really have no root in ourselves below the mere surface. Yes, such a day can come...and has. When our tower is shaken to foundation and even below it, and all the language we have used in building is now foreign to us as a strange tongue indeed, confused in every way. When light comes and our doing within ourselves is exposed as seen, heard...and completely understood by another; and all assumptions, like vapors, begin to vanish.
We said "I am myself"..."I am one" but suddenly such is shown so very odd. For who was in the speaking? Who was the hearing "one"? Was "I" the one telling me? Or was it the "I" hearing me tell myself? Was "I" my thoughts? Or was the "I" the one perceiving them...as a man might watch a movie screen from his seat? Am I the on screen...or in seat? And...what of the projectionist in the booth behind me that I cannot see...choosing what movie will play out...is it upon me (as screen) or to me, as seated observer? I am not to myself as "one", nor nearly as monolithic to myself as once I imagined, nor assumed.
It can be unsettling to see this totally reliant interplay...how that any lack or loss of that once assumed control a man believes he has over himself is to total effect. And most of all he begins to understand the depths that cannot be plumbed; find the seat where the projectionist abides from which this place of bubbling up of thoughts, projection of thoughts to the conscious mind...originate. Who, or what is in there? Call it a booth or depths, it does not matter. No amount of thinking, maneuvering, twisting/turning, craning of neck or imaginations can follow that beam through the darkness to its origins to reveal the projectionist's face, or his intents and purpose. Think of clever way to draw him out, to make him show himself, to force him to prove to you who and what you are to yourself in heart of heart; true and full of reason, or evil and full of deceit?
Go ahead, try it. See if you can let go of your assumptions about yourself, by yourself...to truly know yourself. Use every trick you can think of to be sure to prevail upon and conquer this unknowing of your own depths to be sure of yourself. Follow back that beam...(as though to that projectionist's booth) or down into what appears as depths from which and from where motives truly originate. Really , go ahead...get past that place of imaginations and assumptions you have that have kept you playing at the merest surface where you interface with others according to "My motives are good, they simply must be" or, "I am honest with myself and therefore with others" or even "I am beginning to know myself"... those first fractions of an inch we expose. The where we live. The merest surface in which we invite others to for their living with us.
Put on that wet suit, take that deep dive let go of the assumptions that buoy you, take a deep breath and hold it, ready to embrace those stones of doubt about yourself that will help you descend deeper...see how long and how far you can go without need to come back up for the air of "but you are a good person, a true person, a nice person to be around and play with"... "don't be troubled or trouble yourself" the answers of all the other shallow swimmers that you embrace to feel not alone.
Or think you can grab a flashlight and sneak around back of the projectionist's booth and ascend to where he is seated...and surprise him. See him, capture his being in your sight to a knowing of him in order to know yourself...as though he can be caught sleeping and unaware of your seeking him out. Just remember whence the even thought of trying to capture him has come from. He doesn't sleep. He gives you ideas...even if they be to "try and find him out". See how clever clever can be...and either surrender to:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
and the giver of that truth as guide, or just continue to lie to yourself and others about knowing who, and what you are.
Jesus Christ never came up for air nor that air of comfort all other men seek after. He alone breathes in the darkness and into the darkness the breath of life, even descending into the very lowest parts of the earth to make His deposit of light. He died in His going and getting there, where no man can live except God give light, life, and breath.
And there He received it back to Himself...the resurrection.
And He exposed the one formerly seated. And where he ruled in cleverness.
We preach not ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord.
Poor dear, and you thought the universe outside was large, deep, and mysterious.
There is nothing hidden except to be revealed.
Oh, but we are strange creatures in our assumptions! Strange in having them, made stranger still in their abundance, and even yet made stranger in a blithe acceptance to their ignoring. We think so many things are "one way" to us according to these assumptions; as a whole house is built upon a foundation that to each seems as level as can be, and goes up according to that level into that tower within we know as ourselves. And live in. And for the most part, despite the tenuous manner in which rooms are added to rooms, level added to level, we think ourselves sort of monolithic. I am "one" person. One in number and one in unity with myself. I am one I tell myself! I am me. And beside me there is no other...like me.
At least until a moment. And a moment like no other. An intrusion; even invader if you will, who shakes the very foundations of ourselves. Not merely upsetting our assumptions, but upending them as a plow turns the ground beneath the growing grass below its roots and exposes them to the withering light and heat of day. How shallowly we have entrusted ourselves to our being, how nakedly now is made clear we really have no root in ourselves below the mere surface. Yes, such a day can come...and has. When our tower is shaken to foundation and even below it, and all the language we have used in building is now foreign to us as a strange tongue indeed, confused in every way. When light comes and our doing within ourselves is exposed as seen, heard...and completely understood by another; and all assumptions, like vapors, begin to vanish.
We said "I am myself"..."I am one" but suddenly such is shown so very odd. For who was in the speaking? Who was the hearing "one"? Was "I" the one telling me? Or was it the "I" hearing me tell myself? Was "I" my thoughts? Or was the "I" the one perceiving them...as a man might watch a movie screen from his seat? Am I the on screen...or in seat? And...what of the projectionist in the booth behind me that I cannot see...choosing what movie will play out...is it upon me (as screen) or to me, as seated observer? I am not to myself as "one", nor nearly as monolithic to myself as once I imagined, nor assumed.
It can be unsettling to see this totally reliant interplay...how that any lack or loss of that once assumed control a man believes he has over himself is to total effect. And most of all he begins to understand the depths that cannot be plumbed; find the seat where the projectionist abides from which this place of bubbling up of thoughts, projection of thoughts to the conscious mind...originate. Who, or what is in there? Call it a booth or depths, it does not matter. No amount of thinking, maneuvering, twisting/turning, craning of neck or imaginations can follow that beam through the darkness to its origins to reveal the projectionist's face, or his intents and purpose. Think of clever way to draw him out, to make him show himself, to force him to prove to you who and what you are to yourself in heart of heart; true and full of reason, or evil and full of deceit?
Go ahead, try it. See if you can let go of your assumptions about yourself, by yourself...to truly know yourself. Use every trick you can think of to be sure to prevail upon and conquer this unknowing of your own depths to be sure of yourself. Follow back that beam...(as though to that projectionist's booth) or down into what appears as depths from which and from where motives truly originate. Really , go ahead...get past that place of imaginations and assumptions you have that have kept you playing at the merest surface where you interface with others according to "My motives are good, they simply must be" or, "I am honest with myself and therefore with others" or even "I am beginning to know myself"... those first fractions of an inch we expose. The where we live. The merest surface in which we invite others to for their living with us.
Put on that wet suit, take that deep dive let go of the assumptions that buoy you, take a deep breath and hold it, ready to embrace those stones of doubt about yourself that will help you descend deeper...see how long and how far you can go without need to come back up for the air of "but you are a good person, a true person, a nice person to be around and play with"... "don't be troubled or trouble yourself" the answers of all the other shallow swimmers that you embrace to feel not alone.
Or think you can grab a flashlight and sneak around back of the projectionist's booth and ascend to where he is seated...and surprise him. See him, capture his being in your sight to a knowing of him in order to know yourself...as though he can be caught sleeping and unaware of your seeking him out. Just remember whence the even thought of trying to capture him has come from. He doesn't sleep. He gives you ideas...even if they be to "try and find him out". See how clever clever can be...and either surrender to:
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
and the giver of that truth as guide, or just continue to lie to yourself and others about knowing who, and what you are.
Jesus Christ never came up for air nor that air of comfort all other men seek after. He alone breathes in the darkness and into the darkness the breath of life, even descending into the very lowest parts of the earth to make His deposit of light. He died in His going and getting there, where no man can live except God give light, life, and breath.
And there He received it back to Himself...the resurrection.
And He exposed the one formerly seated. And where he ruled in cleverness.
We preach not ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord.
Poor dear, and you thought the universe outside was large, deep, and mysterious.
There is nothing hidden except to be revealed.
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