Thank you, I'll break another one off here in a little while. Couple more oughta wrap it up... ?Still tuned in here
You're a really good writer,,,,, wish I had your skill,,,,,Thank you, I'll break another one off here in a little while. Couple more out of wrap it up... ?
Wow! Well told story. Enjoyed it immensely.Dad sold his million dollar property for 4 million dollars. He settled in at home for a few years with Sally and she got sicker and sicker. He had had a knee replacement and t i a stroke, so he's golfing and gambling days were over he had a bad case of CRS (can't remember snot). After Sally passed, he was too proud and stubborn to accept regular help and company around the house. You lasted on his own about 2 years until he had a substantial stroke. The doctor had given him a couple of sample bottles of Eliquis to change over his blood thinner from Warfarin. He took them home and started taking the Eliquis but did not quit taking the warfarin. The stroke did not affect his physical movement too much but gave him a real case of word salad. He could say lots of words, but could not string together anything cohesively. Immediately moved in on him to take care of what the doctor call ' four M's'. Money, Meals, Medication, and Mobility. I added a fifth M. Mutts! Dad had two Shih Tzus that it been with him a long time. Their care was probably the toughest part of my 2-year stay. (I looked it up; their Chinese breed name means 'eat ****s for dessert'!) Dad remained extremely pleasant and jovial. He was never angry or sad or cross in any way. He thanked my wife and I for what we were doing regularly. He also told me that he was tired of the waiting and just wished he could go on. His stroke effects of gradually subsided and left him with virtually zero effect after a few months. But he still couldn't remember who he just talked to on the phone or who was playing the ball game he just finished watching.
In February, he took a bad fall in the early morning while trying to manipulate the TV buttons because he couldn't find the remote. He broke his shoulder and fractured his pelvis. Then spent a week in the hospital and three weeks in rehab. In the hospital, he was diagnosed with stage-4 cancer on his liver and his lungs. Cholangiocarcinoma had originated in his bile duct. He decided that he did not want to treat, but let things take their natural course. He had a well-thought-out will and living will. I was his medical power of attorney.
Although he had bought that the idea for 4 years, we were finally able to convince him to enter an assisted living facility. This was necessary it's Dad and I have had a verbal contract that stated that when he could no longer do the paperwork in the restroom, it would be time for more professional help than I could give. (Ha.) Even though he was virtually bed-bound, he did enjoy his new place. He could barely transfer from his bed to his easy chair once every day or so. I was there daily, breakfast, lunch, and dinner/bedtime to make sure he was well taken care of. Fortunately for me he was able to easily afford this expensive care (and afford for me to pay outside help to come in and relieve me on weekends during the entire 2 years). In May, he had a second stroke very similar to the first that he never recovered from. During therapy, I'm nurse therapist asked him if he could remember his name. He had a confused look on his face as he shook his head 'no'. When the nurse asked if he remembered who I was, he croaked out the words, "My son,"and gave a little smile. Other than "thank you for what you are doing," these were the last cohesive words I ever heard him say.
But his easy going and jovial personality never faded. ALL of his doctors, nurses, and caregivers always adamantly remarked about his attitude and that he was their favorite patient. After returning to his bed in Assisted Living from the hospital stay with the recent stroke, my wife and I were bedside taking off the plastic hospital bracelets and a half dozen or so bandages did he had stuck on his hairy arms. My wife was carefully and slowly peeling the bandages out of his hair and I told her to "just snatch those things off! That's the way Dad would do it!" As she scoffed at me and continued her slow process, dad let out of painful gasp. She jumped back raising her hands and saying, "I'm so sorry! I'll try to be more careful!" Dad immediately starting in with a belly laugh that was so ferocious I thought he was going to hurt himself!
He passed on May 30th with my wife and his other daughter in law and myself outside of his room. I had arrived on the scene upon the hospice nurses notice to find those two tearing and whining around the room as dad was obviously down to his last minutes. I am out sadly that we had to give Dad some privacy and not stand around there watching him draw his last breath. The three of us retired to the waiting room. Within 5 minutes the hospice nurse came out and said that he had passed. She said that as soon as we left the room dad came out of his three-day state of non-responsiveness and asked if everybody was outside. She said that when she told him yes, he seemed comforted and relaxed, and took his last few breaths.
Never ones to be mourned, both dad and Sally had asked for a celebration in their memory instead of any types of formal services at funeral homes and grave sites, etc. Sally had an 'A-wake' party at the country club before she passed. It was a real shindig. Tonight we are having another celebration at the club (tears now) for Dad.
The theme of it will be...
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Sally and Ken, together again!