Rather Remarkable Obituary:

stumpman

Banned
Rather Remarkable Obituary:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing. :flag:
 

Ramey Jackson

Senior Member
Sad but true. However, we performed CPR on Mr. Sense in my house.

Just ask my kids. Hopefully they'll keep him around when they leave my house. ::huh:
 

CAL

Senior Member
Common Sense is alive and well at my house.The two stepbrothers were put out long ago and were never heard from again.May they rest in peace or peacefully!!!!!
 

Toliver

Senior Member
I liked it. I posted it in my other forum. It got quite a reaction. I would link it but there's some "not for family viewing" posts in there. :bounce:
 
Top