CPiper
Senior Member
You have more parts than bows laying around the workshop;
You have 47 dozen aluminum arrows in various sizes ... none of which are straight;
Your archery gear box is bigger than your car trunk;
Your family is used to the smell of doe pee and cow in heat lure;
You have more sets of camo than you do business suits;
You bathe more in hunting camp than you do at home;
The neighbors no longer call the cops to report a scream when you're practicing with your bugle before elk season;
You've got more bow body parts laying around your yard than most pro shops have in stock;
Your bowhunting setup cost more than your first honeymoon;
Your kids and dog forget who you are during the hunting seasons;
You only spend 8 hours a day at work so you can spend 16 hours a day sitting in a stand on the weekend;
Your grandmother/grandfather/uncle/aunt/cousin/etc have each been buried more than once and you attended each funeral ... or at least the boss thinks so;
You spend more than 3 hours a day reading hunt threads on the internet forums.
You know the date of bow season but can't remember your anniversary.
Your scared of heights, but, have no problem hanging on a tree 20' up with one arm trying to hang a stand with the other.
Squirrels in your hunting area treat you like family.
Your regular street clothes are all shades of brown and green.
A corner of your garage looks like a display for a museum entitled, "The History of Treestands."
You costantly estimate the range to everything
While watching tv that shows any game animal, you always look for the best angle and time to shoot.
If your neighbor's wife asks you to move your deer decoys because her kids think they are real deer and they want you to stop killin em.
If you have eye-bolts screwed into the ceiling of the garage to hang deer on.
You compare the insides of your wife during a C section to deliver your baby to a gutpile.
If you've got targets placed strategically throughout the house so you can shoot after dark, with walkways blocked by baby gates to prevent injury to your spouse and kids.
If you've got a tree stand mounted to your chimney for practice.
The people who take your order by phone at Cabelas ask how the wife and kids are doing.
You wander aimlessly through the hunting department of your local Wal-Mart during the off season.
Your wife has told you that she refuses to wear any more of that funny smelling "perfume" thats comes in the little brown bottle.
Your buddies ask you how is it hanging and you say there not there draggin.
You go thru the drive-thru at a fast food joint and you're 3 year old child yells out at the intercom that he wants a super-sized order of backstraps.
You firmly anchor the mouthpiece of the phone to the same place at the corner of your mouth every time you use it.
If you have your own tray in the refrigerator for scents and lures
Your wife doesn't ware white or brown PJ's to bed during hunting season
If your kids were afraid to have Santa land his sled on your roof
If your children have watched more hunting videos than Barney.
You've ever gotten road rash from sliding down the tree you're hugging;
The term "tree-hugger" to you means someone who bought a cheap deer stand;
You shave your arm more testing your broadheads than you shave your face using a razor;
You've ever used the words "Bubba, treestand, bigun and gutpile," in the same sentence;
You take out a third mortgage on your home so you join a deer lease;
Every right hand glove you own is missing 3 fingers.
Your kids don't realize they sell meat at grocery stores.
Your kids think 'camo' is a color.
Your reindeer Christmas decorations have arrow holes in them.
You find ways to fit archery terms into your nickname.
You've got more than one arrow hole in the side of your shed/house/garage;
You're more concerned about your feathers staying dry than catching pneumonia;
Your wife finds the equivalent to three rolls of toilet paper in bits and pieces in her washing machine after washing your hunting pants;
You own any item of clothing that carries a tag with a word ending in "TEX" written on it.
You can field dress a deer faster than you can change a baby;
After about a month of bow season the lady next door asks your wife if she is separated.
You are legally blind but can hit a quarter at 40 yds
You have tree steps in all your tool boxes.
You have had more bows in your life than toothbrushes.
You see a painting of woods and fields, and you analyze it for the best stand placement.
You read the word does in a sentence, and you automatically think of female whitetail deer.
You know the people on the TV weather channel by their first names.
You've ever given yourself a fat lip with a release;
You've said, "Awww, it don't hurt," after forgetting to put your armguard on;
You've ever tried to figure out some way to use your haul rope to lasso the arrow that just fell off your string to the ground;
You judge every purchase your wife makes by how many dozen arrows you could have bought !
The game warden knows you on a first name basis
You have used a metal detector to find lost arrows
When your looking to buy a house you choose it by the type of archery range you can build in the back yard.
You plan your retirement in regards to the size of the deer in the area.
You've ever had to explain to your wife or mother how the hole got in the bedspread hanging on the clothes line;
You've ever had to outrun an animal you've shot
You've ever left more than $30.00 worth of arrows stuck in the top of a tree because you missed that stupid squirrel more than once.
You have a ballpoint pin with fletches on it
When you take the kids to the zoo you're constantly judging the distances to all the animals and wishing you had brought your bow!
You've ever felt a pile of droppings to see how warm they are
You've ever had to have stitches in your butt because you sat on a broadhead
You have any kids named Matthews, Browning, Hoyt, or Martin.
You get goosebumps when Jackie Bushman says, "I'm gonna go get the four wheeler."
The local taxidermist calls you for advice.
If you ever tried to hang a tree stand in your christmas tree
If you call your wife dear instead of honey
If you have ever tried to score the racks on santa's deer
If you ever shot at the deer in your neighbor's christmas display
If you have ever returned home from a hunt only to find your picture on the milk carton
If you have ever wondered if your mother-in-law will respond to a grunt call.
If your bow gets more attention than the lawnmower
If 70#@29"w/425gr@263fps means anything at all to you
You have more sets of camo than you do business suits
If you have your own tray in the refrigerator for scents and lures
Every right hand glove you own is missing 3 fingers.
You've ever given yourself a fat lip with a release
You've said, "Awww, it don't hurt," after forgetting to put your armguard on
When your looking to buy a house you choose it by the type of archery range you can build in the back yard
And ya know your a REDNECK Bow Hunter if (see picture - self explanatory)
If you refer to duct tape as "state of the art adhesive devise"
You have 47 dozen aluminum arrows in various sizes ... none of which are straight;
Your archery gear box is bigger than your car trunk;
Your family is used to the smell of doe pee and cow in heat lure;
You have more sets of camo than you do business suits;
You bathe more in hunting camp than you do at home;
The neighbors no longer call the cops to report a scream when you're practicing with your bugle before elk season;
You've got more bow body parts laying around your yard than most pro shops have in stock;
Your bowhunting setup cost more than your first honeymoon;
Your kids and dog forget who you are during the hunting seasons;
You only spend 8 hours a day at work so you can spend 16 hours a day sitting in a stand on the weekend;
Your grandmother/grandfather/uncle/aunt/cousin/etc have each been buried more than once and you attended each funeral ... or at least the boss thinks so;
You spend more than 3 hours a day reading hunt threads on the internet forums.
You know the date of bow season but can't remember your anniversary.
Your scared of heights, but, have no problem hanging on a tree 20' up with one arm trying to hang a stand with the other.
Squirrels in your hunting area treat you like family.
Your regular street clothes are all shades of brown and green.
A corner of your garage looks like a display for a museum entitled, "The History of Treestands."
You costantly estimate the range to everything
While watching tv that shows any game animal, you always look for the best angle and time to shoot.
If your neighbor's wife asks you to move your deer decoys because her kids think they are real deer and they want you to stop killin em.
If you have eye-bolts screwed into the ceiling of the garage to hang deer on.
You compare the insides of your wife during a C section to deliver your baby to a gutpile.
If you've got targets placed strategically throughout the house so you can shoot after dark, with walkways blocked by baby gates to prevent injury to your spouse and kids.
If you've got a tree stand mounted to your chimney for practice.
The people who take your order by phone at Cabelas ask how the wife and kids are doing.
You wander aimlessly through the hunting department of your local Wal-Mart during the off season.
Your wife has told you that she refuses to wear any more of that funny smelling "perfume" thats comes in the little brown bottle.
Your buddies ask you how is it hanging and you say there not there draggin.
You go thru the drive-thru at a fast food joint and you're 3 year old child yells out at the intercom that he wants a super-sized order of backstraps.
You firmly anchor the mouthpiece of the phone to the same place at the corner of your mouth every time you use it.
If you have your own tray in the refrigerator for scents and lures
Your wife doesn't ware white or brown PJ's to bed during hunting season
If your kids were afraid to have Santa land his sled on your roof
If your children have watched more hunting videos than Barney.
You've ever gotten road rash from sliding down the tree you're hugging;
The term "tree-hugger" to you means someone who bought a cheap deer stand;
You shave your arm more testing your broadheads than you shave your face using a razor;
You've ever used the words "Bubba, treestand, bigun and gutpile," in the same sentence;
You take out a third mortgage on your home so you join a deer lease;
Every right hand glove you own is missing 3 fingers.
Your kids don't realize they sell meat at grocery stores.
Your kids think 'camo' is a color.
Your reindeer Christmas decorations have arrow holes in them.
You find ways to fit archery terms into your nickname.
You've got more than one arrow hole in the side of your shed/house/garage;
You're more concerned about your feathers staying dry than catching pneumonia;
Your wife finds the equivalent to three rolls of toilet paper in bits and pieces in her washing machine after washing your hunting pants;
You own any item of clothing that carries a tag with a word ending in "TEX" written on it.
You can field dress a deer faster than you can change a baby;
After about a month of bow season the lady next door asks your wife if she is separated.
You are legally blind but can hit a quarter at 40 yds
You have tree steps in all your tool boxes.
You have had more bows in your life than toothbrushes.
You see a painting of woods and fields, and you analyze it for the best stand placement.
You read the word does in a sentence, and you automatically think of female whitetail deer.
You know the people on the TV weather channel by their first names.
You've ever given yourself a fat lip with a release;
You've said, "Awww, it don't hurt," after forgetting to put your armguard on;
You've ever tried to figure out some way to use your haul rope to lasso the arrow that just fell off your string to the ground;
You judge every purchase your wife makes by how many dozen arrows you could have bought !
The game warden knows you on a first name basis
You have used a metal detector to find lost arrows
When your looking to buy a house you choose it by the type of archery range you can build in the back yard.
You plan your retirement in regards to the size of the deer in the area.
You've ever had to explain to your wife or mother how the hole got in the bedspread hanging on the clothes line;
You've ever had to outrun an animal you've shot
You've ever left more than $30.00 worth of arrows stuck in the top of a tree because you missed that stupid squirrel more than once.
You have a ballpoint pin with fletches on it
When you take the kids to the zoo you're constantly judging the distances to all the animals and wishing you had brought your bow!
You've ever felt a pile of droppings to see how warm they are
You've ever had to have stitches in your butt because you sat on a broadhead
You have any kids named Matthews, Browning, Hoyt, or Martin.
You get goosebumps when Jackie Bushman says, "I'm gonna go get the four wheeler."
The local taxidermist calls you for advice.
If you ever tried to hang a tree stand in your christmas tree
If you call your wife dear instead of honey
If you have ever tried to score the racks on santa's deer
If you ever shot at the deer in your neighbor's christmas display
If you have ever returned home from a hunt only to find your picture on the milk carton
If you have ever wondered if your mother-in-law will respond to a grunt call.
If your bow gets more attention than the lawnmower
If 70#@29"w/425gr@263fps means anything at all to you
You have more sets of camo than you do business suits
If you have your own tray in the refrigerator for scents and lures
Every right hand glove you own is missing 3 fingers.
You've ever given yourself a fat lip with a release
You've said, "Awww, it don't hurt," after forgetting to put your armguard on
When your looking to buy a house you choose it by the type of archery range you can build in the back yard
And ya know your a REDNECK Bow Hunter if (see picture - self explanatory)
If you refer to duct tape as "state of the art adhesive devise"
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