Divorce and remarriage of Christians?

I have a question for those of you who don't believe a Christian should remarry after a divorce except for very specific circumstances. You certainly have scripture to back up your ground. I am not asking these questions to stir up trouble. I honestly want to know.
Here's the questions;
How do you personally, or your church deal with Christians who have divorced and remarried? Do you tell them they are living in sin?
Do you go to them as the bible teaches us to do with those out of God's will, then ask them to leave the body of believers if they won't seperate?
Do you allow them to have any part in church service?
Or because they are already remarried do you just accept it? If so, how do you get around 1 Corinthians 5:12
'For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?'
What about members of your church who are divorced who God's hand is obviously on? They are living a life that shows a true commitment to Jesus. Do you think that every time they are with there wife they are committing adultery?
I really struggle with this issue. If you take those particular verses it's hard to make an argument for remarriage.
Yet I personally know couples who are remarried who are doing incredible things for God, both in the church and in the world.
Is divorce truly an unforgivable sin if you remarry?
Teach
BTW: I have been married to my wonderful wife for twenty years and will be until I die or Jesus returns in the clouds.

Teacher,
You brought up some good questions that I don't know the answer to. Both me and my wife were married before. I don't think that I'm sinning because I know where I was before I met my wife and I truly believe that God led me to her. Since we married I've been saved and God has forgave me of my sins. I know strong men of Christ who are divorced. I do not believe that divorced men should be pastors or deacons though, according to scripture.

I believe this:

1. It is impossible for two unsaved people, or one saved and one lost to be married in the eyes of God. Anything that takes place in a persons life prior to conversion is of no relevance after they are saved. However, for practical purposes of Church governance, anyone that is divorced, whether prior to being saved or after, cannot hold the position of pastor or deacon.

2. If two TRULY saved people are divorced( I really don't see how this is possible) they should remain unmarried until the other spouse is dead, or remarried.

SBG said:

I believe this:


2. If two TRULY saved people are divorced( I really don't see how this is possible) they should remain unmarried until the other spouse is dead, or remarried.

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Hey SBG
I would tend to agree with that statement. It's hard for me to fathom how that could happen myself.But then again, that's because my wife and I agreed that we would never let anything or anyone come between our commitment together before God.

What about though when one partner claims to be a Christian and continues with appearances like church attendance, singing in the choir etc.
Do you feel the partner who has been abandoned should remain alone the rest of their life?
Teach

Hunting Teacher said:

What about though when one partner claims to be a Christian and continues with appearances like church attendance, singing in the choir etc.
Do you feel the partner who has been abandoned should remain alone the rest of their life?
Teach

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Well...if the abandoned spouse was married to an unsaved person and didn't realize it(which is possible) I believe that they were never really married anyway in the eyes of God. So no, they wouldn't.

Hunting Teacher said:

Is divorce truly an unforgivable sin if you remarry?

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I've always been taught and thought that the ONLY unforgivable sin is to not accept Christ as your savior. Any thing else is forgivable. And if you are forgiven by Christ, then nothing else matters. To me this would include holding position in the church. But that's my opinion on the matter, I probably can't back that up with scripture though.

Hunting teacher,
I have the same problem as you with divorced couples being remarried, I don't know the answer and I can't find in Gods word were it is acceptable. I know once Jesus has forgiven you you are forgiven for eternity but every time the remarried couple is together does that constitute a new sin? I don't know. SBG makes some good points, but I still have a problem with it. Please anyone who is divorced and remarried don't think I am judging you, It's a problem I have that GOD has not given me an understanding of yet.
Dana

Please anyone who is divorced and remarried don't think I am judging you, It's a problem I have that GOD has not given me an understanding of yet.
Dana[/QUOTE]

Well said Dana.
That's exactly how I feel.
Teacher

This is how I see it, being a couple , I having never being married before and my wife whom was divorced for 17 years.
Back when my wife was married to her 1st husband they were married for 7 years. They were both heavily involved in the Alliance Church. She was teaching Sunday school and he worked in the church in various positions. In her mind she thought that the marriage was going well until she learned that he was having an affair with a class mate at college. They kept the affair secret for 1 year using the excuse that they were working on a class project together and needed to be together at various times and places. One evening when (my wife) then his wife came home from work early she caught them in bed. He raised the roof at her and stormed out. She talked to her Pastor but her husband refused counseling. He told her he wanted a divorce and she tried every way possible to make the marriage work until finally she had no choice. He went on to marry the woman and have children and is still married to her to this day. The congregation started to shun her for the divorce but for some strange reason embraced her ex-husband and the pastor even married him to his new bride but not in the sanctuary of the church but instead the social hall. So she was alone for 17 years struggling with the shame of the divorce. I know this may sound silly to some but she was raised to stay married regardless (mud, flood, heck or high water). When we met and started dating 8 months later I asked her to marry me and she brought up the divorce issue. My Church of God of Prophecy pastor told us he was whole heartily against it and would not perform the wedding (regardless of the reason they divorced) and that she still needed to reconcile with her Ex husband. Now come on guys he is married and has kids and this pastor wanted her to seek God in prayer and through contact to bring them back together, I’m sorry but in my eyes that is an abomination and she is clear to marry again. As you can see by my avatar we got married. And you know what we both still work in the church and both pray every day and night together. And if God finds us as living in sin and can’t forgive us then with all my heart I’m sorry to hurt God this way and come judgment day I will have to answer for my actions in my life just as she will for hers. And I hope that Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit can find it in their hearts to forgive us. I feel that even though God gave us rules to follow for our daily lives he is the only one that me and my wife will have to answer to on judgment day. It will be up to Father God how to punish us and I accept it because I know he loves us.

God Bless

Mike and Jessica

mlmathis123, if it was a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church, they went against their own statement of faith and beliefs. Thanks for the story. Can you PM me where this church is located?

Kinda strange how sin and church conduct is prioritized I read where "sin is sin"

heres how i see it. no divorce is definitely not supported by the lord unless of course adultery has taken place. divorce is a sin.

so i sgetting sloppy drunk, so is gamblin, so is so many other things that i cant even begin to name. are those sinners turned away at the door? not at our church, and neither are divorced people. we will not turn any one away as long as they are there for the right reasons. now there will not be a man to stand behind the pulpit if he is married for a second time, or if his wife was previously divorced and they remarried. i have issues with divorce and churches, there are other issues that some churches push that i dont understand either.

i belive if somebody is in that situation than they need nothing more than the lord and a good church family for support, and alot of churches will turn there backs on them. my cousin messed around when she was younger and got pregnant before she was amrried. the guy left her and she had noone but her parents. the church wanted to bring charges against them and kick her out of the church. that whole part of my family never went to church any wahere for many years. think of what kind of negative impact you might have on someone if you try to shun them for a mistake. no body is perfect and i guarantee everybody in the church house has done something stupid at one point in their life. so should we judge everybody in the church. if everybody that werent perfect left the church they would be nobody there.

FESTUSHAGGIN said:

if everybody that werent perfect left the church they would be nobody there.

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Amen!

Hunting Teacher said:

I have a question for those of you who don't believe a Christian should remarry after a divorce except for very specific circumstances. You certainly have scripture to back up your ground. I am not asking these questions to stir up trouble. I honestly want to know.
Here's the questions;
How do you personally, or your church deal with Christians who have divorced and remarried? Do you tell them they are living in sin?
Do you go to them as the bible teaches us to do with those out of God's will, then ask them to leave the body of believers if they won't seperate?
Do you allow them to have any part in church service?
Or because they are already remarried do you just accept it? If so, how do you get around 1 Corinthians 5:12
'For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?'
What about members of your church who are divorced who God's hand is obviously on? They are living a life that shows a true commitment to Jesus. Do you think that every time they are with there wife they are committing adultery?
I really struggle with this issue. If you take those particular verses it's hard to make an argument for remarriage.
Yet I personally know couples who are remarried who are doing incredible things for God, both in the church and in the world.
Is divorce truly an unforgivable sin if you remarry?
Teach
BTW: I have been married to my wonderful wife for twenty years and will be until I die or Jesus returns in the clouds.

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There is only one unforgivable sin. Divorce is not it.
My church is likely different than many in this regard but I don't know of anyonewho was ever been 'asked to leave'. Yes y'all hear of 'excommunication' but I bet that's rarer than hen's teeth. In my 40 years I've never known of an instance of it in any church I've been to or known of. As far as varying amounts of participation, sadly I can't answer about the requirements (indictment on ME ), but I believe your previous marital status is of no concern with the likely exception being deacons.

mlm, that is one bizarre handling of a situation by her previous church. Glad she moved on and found a new welcoming home for her heart.

mlmathis123 said:

My Church of God of Prophecy pastor told us he was whole heartily against it and would not perform the wedding (regardless of the reason they divorced) and that she still needed to reconcile with her Ex husband.

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That pastor needs to read his Bible.

Thanks everyone for your responses.
I'm still seeking those of you that have posted before ,quoting scripture that "shows" a Christian should not remarry.I'm very interested in how you or your church, if that is the congregations beliefs, handle members who have been divorced and remarried.
It just seems that ministers and Christians with that view have no real answer for me as to what you do if someone already has remarried.
I admit this is a personal issue in that both my brother and best friend had their wives walk out on them. Both the men are born again and their lives show fruit of that. Both women still claim to be born again and one still attends the same church she did and sings in the choir.
Both men are now remarried to once divorced women who are Christians and were Christians when the divorce took place.
Those of you who feel remarriage is a sin, and continues each day or that union to be a sin, how do you reconcile all of it in today's church? I'm really seeking to understand this. My little mind can't take it all in!
Teach

How do you personally, or your church deal with Christians who have divorced and remarried?

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We have divorced and remarried folks in our Southern Baptist Church. I have never seen the church specifically take a stand based on an existing circumstance. The Bible is preached and I guess it is left for the Holy Spirit to work on the hearts of those in that situation. I had some divorced men in my Sunday school class and the subject came up a few times. I did not invoke my personal belief, I just used Scripture and let the individual meditate on God's word.

GeauxLSU said:

. Yes y'all hear of 'excommunication' but I bet that's rarer than hen's teeth. In my 40 years I've never known of an instance of it in any church I've been to or known of.

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My father-in-law, who was Catholic, was excommunicated for divorcing an unfaithful wife back in the late '40's.

As you might imagine, it certainly has had an adverse effect on his Spiritual life, until, thankfully, quite recently.

I have shared this here in the past, but I am a Southern Baptist, divorced and married to a divorcee. I was called to be a Sunday School teacher and, later, deacon by my church and at first I denied the call due to my own interpretation of the scriptures. My Pastor and several of the other deacons at the church prayed and counsuled me to consider the scriptures prayerfully. One of them asked me a simple question concerning the scripture that says that a man may be a "husband but to one wife". He asked me if I considered my ex to be my wife. The answer was very simple! She was in no way my wife any longer. I also responded that there is no imagining that anyone other than Debbie possibly could ever be my wife.

In retrospect, my divorce, along with other shortcomings in my life, have been used by God in some pretty amazing ways as I helped others deal with what seemed to be terrible problems in their lives. It obviously is an integral part of my testimony.

Was I wrong to divorce? Undoubtedly! The scripture is very clear! The reasons, or excuses, though powerful influences on my actions, are not valid!

Has God forgiven me through the sacrifice of His Son? You better believe it!

All that aside, if I choose to join another church body that held with the tradition that divorced men should not be teachers or deacons, that would not hurt my feelings in the least. I fully understand the concerns.

BTW, while it would be the only disqualifier, it would not be what most would consider the worst of my sins. (Food for thought)

I think this along with ALOT of other things in "Religion" is a bunch of bologna! I think man tries to stick his nose in Gods business WAY too much and force their own "beliefs" on others. We look through a glass darkly.

FESTUSHAGGIN said:

heres how i see it. no divorce is definitely not supported by the lord unless of course adultery has taken place. divorce is a sin.

so i sgetting sloppy drunk, so is gamblin, so is so many other things that i cant even begin to name. are those sinners turned away at the door? not at our church, and neither are divorced people. we will not turn any one away as long as they are there for the right reasons. now there will not be a man to stand behind the pulpit if he is married for a second time, or if his wife was previously divorced and they remarried. i have issues with divorce and churches, there are other issues that some churches push that i dont understand either.

i belive if somebody is in that situation than they need nothing more than the lord and a good church family for support, and alot of churches will turn there backs on them. my cousin messed around when she was younger and got pregnant before she was amrried. the guy left her and she had noone but her parents. the church wanted to bring charges against them and kick her out of the church. that whole part of my family never went to church any wahere for many years. think of what kind of negative impact you might have on someone if you try to shun them for a mistake. no body is perfect and i guarantee everybody in the church house has done something stupid at one point in their life. so should we judge everybody in the church. if everybody that werent perfect left the church they would be nobody there.

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Thank you. I keep going back to the thought that it's not our duty to make 2nd class citizens out of any of God's people, regardless of thier past. If there is a "reaping", then that's up to that individual and God, not something 'we' inflict on folks. As far as the church, it's a hospital for sinners, not a sanctuary for the super saints. We need to be careful not to loose this reality in our quest for holiness.

Just my op'.