The Ideal Preacher

Ronnie T

Ol' Retired Mod
The Ideal Preacher

After hundreds of fruitless years, a model minister has been found to suit everyone. It is guaranteed that he will please all the people in any church. He preaches only 20 minutes, but thoroughly expounds the Word. He condemns sin, but never hurts anyone's feelings. He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., doing every type work, from preaching in the pulpit to janitor work. He makes $200 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books regularly, has a nice family, drives a nice car, and gives $50 a week to the church. He stands ready to give to any good cause, also. His family is completely model in deportment, dress, and attitude. He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years. He is tall, short, thin, heavyset, handsome, has one brown eye and one blue eye, hair parted in the middle, left side dark and straight, right side blond and wavy. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spend all his time with the older people. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all his time evangelizing the unchurched, and is never out of the office.
(auther unknown)
 

jabb06

Senior Member
whew im exhausted just reading it
 

StriperAddict

Senior Member
where ya goin, bro Ronnie?

Yeah, I'm exhausted too!

If this was a test to pick out some "flaw" of this pastor,
was it:
He condemns sin, but never hurts anyone's feelings.
or the "never out of the office" part :huh:
 

gordon 2

Senior Member
The Ideal Preacher

After hundreds of fruitless years, a model minister has been found to suit everyone. It is guaranteed that he will please all the people in any church. He preaches only 20 minutes, but thoroughly expounds the Word. He condemns sin, but never hurts anyone's feelings. He works from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., doing every type work, from preaching in the pulpit to janitor work. He makes $200 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books regularly, has a nice family, drives a nice car, and gives $50 a week to the church. He stands ready to give to any good cause, also. His family is completely model in deportment, dress, and attitude. He is 26 years old and has been preaching for 30 years. He is tall, short, thin, heavyset, handsome, has one brown eye and one blue eye, hair parted in the middle, left side dark and straight, right side blond and wavy. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spend all his time with the older people. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls a day on church members, spends all his time evangelizing the unchurched, and is never out of the office.
(auther unknown)



This is a real life description of another ministry called nursing--not preaching. Except this part:
She/he makes $200 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books regularly, has a nice family, drives a nice car, and gives $50 a week to the church." Child care expenses usually takes care of all this stuff...
 

Ronnie T

Ol' Retired Mod
I've seen this many times before.
I came accross it last night while doing some research.
Everyone has their own expectations about their pastor.
I think the illustration points to how difficult it is sometimes.
 

mtnwoman

Senior Member
I worked at bellsouth for almost 30 years and will get retirement in 3 years and soc.sec....so I have hope of a halfway descent life if I make it...lol.

When I got layed off 10 yrs ago I made 17$ an hour and wouldn't have done it for a nickel less. It's worth $15 to just put up with the publics cr*p. Do you think anyone called in just to say how great BellSouth was...no it was all about complaining, about this or that. Wonder why I drank, wonder why I stayed depressed? Wonder why I was a weekend warrior...because I could never solve anything permanently for anyone. Everything in my life was negative....all day...sometimes 10 hours a day and 6 days a week. I had no time to enjoy the money. When I got layed off and opened a flea market store for the first time, I made the same amount of money I made at bellsouth...how?...God!

If a pastor works for $200, he ain't doin' it for the money. Trust me. Do any of you hold peoples eternal lives in the palms of your hands for 5 bucks an hour? I know I wouldn't do it. I'd give to somebody else so they could do it at that price and actually for a far greater price than what I deserve working for the public....and I'd be ripping the pastors off if that was my expectation of what they should work for, so's some misers would be happy. sheesh.

TD Jakes started out working for jelly or homemade bread, he didn't start out on top. He worked a regular job too, just to buy gas to go preach the word in podunk. God provided him with the tools and the money that he makes, to do God's work. Just one example of someone that people dog out for being prosperous. Did Job become prosperous? Did David? Did Soloman? What makes anyone think that God's people should be po? We can't go nowhere on po, can we. Can't pay the churches light bill, nor have gas to get to the nursing home, much less back and forth to church all week...anyone that thinks a preacher should be poor, needs to try walking the walk and talking the talk. Can you take care of your family on 200 bucks a week. If you can, we'd all like to know how you can do it.

What did Paul do for a living when he became a teacher/preacher/missionary.....minimum wage...is that what we think God's word is worth.

If most of us would do what God asks us to do, the great commission, pastors wouldn't have to work for so little they can't buy pork and beans. Sheeh's get a grip and support the ministry.
 
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mtnwoman

Senior Member
Maybe I'm missing a point here, but nurses don't make $200 a week...that's less than minimum wage.

I expect more provision from my God! and I get it.
 

Big7

The Oracle
I worked at bellsouth for almost 30 years and will get retirement in 3 years and soc.sec....so I have hope of a halfway descent life if I make it...lol.

How you been workin' 30 years when you're only 28 years old? :rofl:

I know. :offtopic:
 

mtnwoman

Senior Member
How you been workin' 30 years when you're only 28 years old? :rofl:

I know. :offtopic:

Well I lied I'm 38, ok????? :rofl:

My mama put me into child labor at 8 yrs old. :rofl:
 

1gr8bldr

Senior Member
Maybe I'm missing a point here, but nurses don't make $200 a week...that's less than minimum wage.

I expect more provision from my God! and I get it.

I don't know where ya'll come from, but in the area I live, Pastors make much more than the average attender. Regardless of economy, seem to get great raises every year. Maybe it's just my area???
 

mtnwoman

Senior Member
I don't know where ya'll come from, but in the area I live, Pastors make much more than the average attender. Regardless of economy, seem to get great raises every year. Maybe it's just my area???

I'm from NC, too. I don't know how much my pastor makes and i'm sure it's more than I make, but he has a better boss than I do...lol

How much do pastors make in your area, in numbers? I've never heard or been in the position to know.
 

JB0704

I Gots Goats
I don't know where ya'll come from, but in the area I live, Pastors make much more than the average attender. Regardless of economy, seem to get great raises every year. Maybe it's just my area???

Personally, I think the pastor should make as much as he can. We all should. The burden is on the elders to determine what the job is worth.

In my area, we have serveral who make a lot more than the average congregant, and several in the 6 figure range. I don't understand why the ones who make more than the average Joe get tax free housing. I don't blame them for taking it, just think the tax law should be adjusted a bit.

Ideal preacher: not sure. I understand where the OP is going, but many contemporary churches do not over work the preacher, they pay him well, and he does not deal directly with congregants anymore.
 

mtnwoman

Senior Member
Personally, I think the pastor should make as much as he can. We all should. The burden is on the elders to determine what the job is worth.

In my area, we have serveral who make a lot more than the average congregant, and several in the 6 figure range. I don't understand why the ones who make more than the average Joe get tax free housing. I don't blame them for taking it, just think the tax law should be adjusted a bit.

Ideal preacher: not sure. I understand where the OP is going, but many contemporary churches do not over work the preacher, they pay him well, and he does not deal directly with congregants anymore.


My pastor owns his own home or at least buying it. Between all the guys in the church they all help each other fixing their houses up....wish they would come help me.....lol. I think most churches don't provide housing any more unless they are the type of churches that rotate pastors. And a good portion of those pastors, work a full time job too, their perk is the free rent. Ya know that even the house that the preacher lives in belongs to the church he doesn't have an interest payment to deduct from his taxes, so it probably works itself out. Heck we're taxed to death now, can't we get a break once in a while
 

JB0704

I Gots Goats
My pastor owns his own home or at least buying it. Between all the guys in the church they all help each other fixing their houses up....wish they would come help me.....lol. I think most churches don't provide housing any more unless they are the type of churches that rotate pastors. And a good portion of those pastors, work a full time job too, their perk is the free rent. Ya know that even the house that the preacher lives in belongs to the church he doesn't have an interest payment to deduct from his taxes, so it probably works itself out. Heck we're taxed to death now, can't we get a break once in a while

The church can pay that portion of his salary as a housing allowance, tax free. Regardless of whether he owns his home or not, he gets tax free housing. This applies to the bi-vocational pastors, and the ones who make a quarter million a year. There is no salary cap on this perk.

I know there are exceptions to the rule. My point is that everybody should be treated the same as far as the government is concerned. Preacher or not.
 
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