Traditional marriage, is it becoming a thing of the past ?

fish hawk said:

Jesus preformed his first miracle at a wedding by changing water into wine. John 2:1-11
There is no commandment concerning wedding ceremonies. However, the biblical pattern is that marriages always begin with some kind of ceremony or wedding, most notable would be that of Jesus Christ and his bride.

Revelation 19:7-9
7Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
8 Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.”
9 Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”

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How can we have a biblical pattern of a wedding feast that we must follow that hasn't happened yet per Revelation?
What is the mystery associated with Christ and his Church and our marriages?
When will this mystery be revealed?
In the example of Christ and his Church compared to man's marriages, which one is being compared to the other?
In what way is it being compared?

What are the traditional Christian wedding vows as stated in the Bible? How does the Bible tell us to perform this ceremony? Who does the Bible tell us should get married and why has this changed from the Old testament, New testament, and modern times?

Thanks for the replies, opinions, and sharing of personal experiences. It was a good and civil exchange of opinion. It never could have been so in the political or religious forums.

I stand fast with my observation in the OP. Things are changing from the norm of the last few generations.
And that may be a good thing IMO

Milkman said:

I think we need to remember this isn't one of the "free for all" forums. Please lets keep it on topic and keep it a sharing of information. I used to moderate this forum and know they still keep an eye on it.

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I was very much trying to be on topic and I've gone back and re-read the OP and just now the post above this one. Here are my thoughts and some stats that support my reason for saying much of what's been expressed here is sad to me.

In 1995, the % of "first unions" (meaning first time living with a 'partner') among women 15-44 were below:

Cohabitation = 34%
Marriage = 39%
No union = remainder

Between 2006-2010, those same stats are below:

Cohabitation = 48%
Marriage = 23%
No union = remainder

Given the trend, I would suspect those numbers are a lot more stark going back in time.

(CDC stats)


The % of births to un-wed mothers has gone from roughly 5% in 1940, to about 20% in 1980 to over 40% since 2007 (CDC again).


I put these out there not to condemn anyone, but simply to make a point based on observation.

Clearly, the answer to the OP is "Yes". In the United States, traditional marriage is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. According to the last post, that may not be such a bad thing. I could not disagree more with that sentiment.

People are opting for co-habitation rather than marriage and they are having children. The majority of un-wed mothers has moved from primarily teenagers to primarily 20-somethings over the last 60-70 years.

Soon, more children will be born outside of marriage than in and co-habitation arrangements typically last less than 24 months (again CDC).

That last one is not a good stat for the children in our country. Anyone who grew up in public school and has any experience with what public school is today is aware of how different the children in those schools are than even just 30 years ago.

So, yes, I believe traditional marriage is going to increasingly become more rare as we move forward. Not only in the definition of marriage, but also in the % of couples who actually participate in it. I think both of those are sad things.

3 years later. Any new observations from anyone?

I do not have much to add, other than my wife and I lived in "sin" for two years prior to getting married and we just recently celebrated our 20 year wedding anniversary.

GAGE said:

I do not have much to add, other than my wife and I lived in "sin" for two years prior to getting married and we just recently celebrated our 20 year wedding anniversary.

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Is it your belief that the first 2 years of your relationship were different due to there not being a licensed marriage?

Milkman said:

Is it your belief that the first 2 years of your relationship were different due to there not being a licensed marriage?

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My wife and I have been married nearly a quarter-century, but we lived together for nearly three years before we got legally married, mostly because we had both just gotten out of a bad marriage and didn't want to jump back into the fire too quickly. It's sure a whole lot easier to get married than to get un-married.

I feel that there was/is no difference in the two periods, we were just as committed to each other before we had a piece of paper saying that we were married as we are now. Legal marriage is not near as much a foundation for a relationship as true love and respect for each other, IMO. The state or xx Baptist Church sanctioning a relationship does not automatically make it a better relationship, as far as I can tell. When it comes down to it, you are married in your heart, not on a piece of paper.

Milkman said:

3 years later. Any new observations from anyone?

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My Lady and I have been together for over 36 turkey and deer seasons. We`ve raised a son, paid off all our debts, are both retired, still hunt and fish together, take the occasional trip, answer to no one, and enjoy life.

And you?

I think it's wise to live together for 2 or 3 years before getting married. Seen way too many people go full on stupid the first few years out from under mommy and daddy's house rules.

ETA, been knowing each other 42 years, together 41 years and married 40.

Milkman said:

This is not a thread to be judgmental of anyone or their lifestyle. Just an information sharing if anyone wants to discuss with it staying on topic.

50 years ago when I was a child I didn't know of any couples who lived together without being married. I am sure there were some, but I was a kid living a wonderful and sheltered life in a rural north Georgia setting. Today I think I know almost as many folks who have a long term relationship or live together without being married as those who are married. These folks are getting along as fine or better than other couples who got legally married and are getting divorced after a short while.

Is our society changing from the traditional marriage standard of the past ? Any thoughts on the matter ??

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Marriage has always been a covenant between two people before God. The fact that the government decided to take their cut makes it no more legal or binding.

Nicodemus said:

My Lady and I have been together for over 36 turkey and deer seasons. We`ve raised a son, paid off all our debts, are both retired, still hunt and fish together, take the occasional trip, answer to no one, and enjoy life.

And you?

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to you & the Mrs., great plan for a quality way of life.

As far as “traditional marriages”...........

I believe people have figured out how to make the most of the tax system by getting married, or staying single......depending on their tax brackets, and other programs like peach care, to get the best benefit / less penalty possible.

They are less concerned about the paperwork that makes the govt and churches happy but I don’t think the sanctity or commitment of their relationship means any less to them.

As my neighbor says “Which way gives me more return”

Been with my wife 25 years, married for 23.

Dirtroad Johnson said:

to you & the Mrs., great plan for a quality way of life.

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Spotlite said:

As far as “traditional marriages”...........

I believe people have figured out how to make the most of the tax system by getting married, or staying single......depending on their tax brackets, and other programs like peach care, to get the best benefit / less penalty possible.

They are less concerned about the paperwork that makes the govt and churches happy but I don’t think the sanctity or commitment of their relationship means any less to them.

As my neighbor says “Which way gives me more return”

Been with my wife 25 years, married for 23.

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This
You can about have a baby for free unwed but if you are married cost goes way up.
Still I chose to marry my wife. We did live together about 6 months before hand bec she was in transition from living in Atlanta and moving back here and didn't want to live with her parents at age 30. I don't see a problem with it ever.

Milkman said:

Is it your belief that the first 2 years of your relationship were different due to there not being a licensed marriage?

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Not at all, but being from parents who took a few tries to find the right one I did not feel the need to not test the water prior to marriage.

My VOWS were for better or worse. We choose to make it better.34 years and growing.

Nicodemus said:

My Lady and I have been together for over 36 turkey and deer seasons. We`ve raised a son, paid off all our debts, are both retired, still hunt and fish together, take the occasional trip, answer to no one, and enjoy life.

And you?

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My opinions on the subject remains unchanged since I started the thread in 2015. My personal situation remains unchanged as well.

My sweetie and I are in the 13th year of a fully committed and loving relationship. We enjoy doing things and traveling together. We really love each other and both of our families.
Together, we have 8 beautiful grandchildren. We still haven’t gotten around to the licensed marriage part yet. But make no mistake we are as married as it gets.

Milkman said:

My opinions on the subject remains unchanged since I started the thread in 2015. My personal situation remains unchanged as well.

My sweetie and I are in the 13th year of a fully committed and loving relationship. We enjoy doing things and traveling together. We really love each other and both of our families.
Together, we have 8 beautiful grandchildren. We still haven’t gotten around to the licensed marriage part yet. But make no mistake we are as married as it gets.

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I once had a chaplain at Ft. Stewart tell me I was living in sin because I was divorced and remarried. He was of the Catholic persuasion. At the time the JCC just had a new Commander appointed to them. I had gone through some other training with that new commander and happened to have a friendly conversation with him after this incident. Don't know what came of that offending chaplain, but I never saw him again.

Me nor my marriage will be dictated by any man, from a state government or a religious government. My marriage is dictated by God and it is only he who we'll answer to.

I think part of the problem with society is that they view the entirety of marriage as it is legally defined by the modern government.

By most folks definition of marriage, a good 90% of married people in the world aren't married.

The bible, by example, shows us that marriage as it was with Adam and Eve and for thousands of years is a simple formula. Sex + Commitment = Marriage.

Sex - Commitment = fornication

Sex + commitment + someone outside of that commitment = adultery

Society has this idea that "just living together" isn't really marriage so it means they have an out. If you're that committed to eachother, you're just married without the taxes. A $50 piece of paper is not what makes a marriage a marriage. The sanctity of marriage has been destroyed because of the tiny box that folks have put marriage in.

I just got married on the 26th of May. We never lived together prior. But i have had live in girlfriends in the past. I told my wife when i met her right off the bat that us "Living together" would happen if we got married and no sooner. She understood and we have been moving forward as we should. I plan on this one lasting and will do what i have to do to keep it that way.