Home Care For elderly Parents

[Stob]

I am not even sure where to start- I have been searching for answers all weekend and am more lost than before I started.

My parents are both in bad health to the point where they cant take care of themselves a 100%. My father has dementia and uses a feeding tube and my mother is a fall risk (currently in the hospital with two broken legs). On a good day, they take care of each other and things are mostly fine but it's now time to get some sort of home care, or something...again, lost.

I cannot rely on family to help as most of my family are a bigger mess than my parents. Both mom and dad are on medicare.

Not sure what to do but looking for information on where to start. I know this is going to be a battle, but I live seven hours away and need help. This is worrying me to death-

thanks for any guidance-

 

[NCHillbilly]

I am not even sure where to start- I have been searching for answers all weekend and am more lost than before I started.

My parents are both in bad health to the point where they cant take care of themselves a 100%. My father has dementia and uses a feeding tube and my mother is a fall risk (currently in the hospital with two broken legs). On a good day, they take care of each other and things are mostly fine but it's now time to get some sort of home care, or something...again, lost.

I cannot rely on family to help as most of my family are a bigger mess than my parents. Both mom and dad are on medicare.

Not sure what to do but looking for information on where to start. I know this is going to be a battle, but I live seven hours away and need help. This is worrying me to death-

thanks for any guidance-

I hate to hear it, just went through three years of that with my mom. We got some home health care for the daytime when we were at work for a couple years that was mostly paid for by Medicare, but 24/7 is an arm and a leg. The last few months, we had to go to a nursing home, there was no other alternative.

 

[Buck70]

Hospice care would help a lot.

 

[Ruger#3]

Care.com is a site for hiring babysitters Nannie’s and elder care. It’s a chore interviewing and finding someone within your budget but it’s an option.

 

[Meriwether Mike]

I am currently dealing with the same thing with my Dad. He thinks he is fine, but I have some concerns. A Place For Mom is one company out that offers this type service. They will need to come out a do an evaluation of whats going on and then make a recommendation.

 

[Stob]

Thanks Guys. I have called DSS more than 20 times over the last two days with no answer or VM. Color me surprised. I just want them to help guide me.

I have also called Medicare, yea, don't get me started.

It amazes me that in this country unless you're rich or willing to go bankrupt, this can actually happen.

Appreciate yalls help and thoughts.

 

[Stob]

I hate to hear it, just went through three years of that with my mom. We got some home health care for the daytime when we were at work for a couple years that was mostly paid for by Medicare, but 24/7 is an arm and a leg. The last few months, we had to go to a nursing home, there was no other alternative.

If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for daytime healthcare?

Thank you for the help.

 

[NCHillbilly]

If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for daytime healthcare?

Thank you for the help.

This was the local Haywood county home health services.

 

[fireman32]

Friends of mine are trying to get hospice care for their daddy. Not end of life, just someone to check on him the few times a week they can’t. It’s been a battle and their family isn’t a mess. Hope you find some help soon.

 

[transfixer]

I went through this a few years back with my Mom, we were lucky to find a private assisted living facility that was run in a lady's home, my Mom didn't require any medical assistance at that time, just help showering and changing clothes, then her health got worse, she broke a hip and had to go into a nursing/rehab type facility, most of those are terrible , especially if you can't go visit them everyday, I suggest if they get to that point relocate them to a facility close to you , where you can check on them frequently, the staff in those places pay better attention to the patients whose family visits often

 

[notnksnemor]

If you check into a nursing home/assisted living facility, be sure to ask about "sundowners" in the facility.

It will tell you a lot about how it's run.

 

[Ruger#3]

Like others my care of my Mom went through phases over a few years. She moved in with us to make caring for her easier. Evolved into needing a nurses aid to bath her and help her with personal needs. Her end of life in hospice care was short. County and Medicare all had a role. It’s a hard journey, I hope you find help.

 

[Stob]

Thank you all. I found out (kind of a duh moment) that i need to start with their PCP and work from there. I have a call into them and specifically asked for the social worker who is part of the group.

Thanks again. This'll make you lose 10 pounds right quick.

 

[basstrkr]

"Home Instead" and Meals on Wheels are other care organization that's good.

It would help you a lot to talk with the assisted living manager or a care nursing home manager and let them tell you what they know about local help, sitters, church programs. They were a great source of info for me.

Also there is a :Council on Aging" rep for your area that can give infor. I didn't use any of these organizations but learned from each one.

If they were a member of a church talk to the church secretary or preacher they will know stuff.

Any of these people will know stuff and gladly share that info.

 

[ChidJ]

If your mother or father was a veteran, you can get in-home care through the VA. The process isn't too painless, albeit a little slow

 

[twtabb]

Please keep us updated as I feel like my family will soon be in similar situation.

 

[Doboy Dawg]

I’m going through this now with my stepmother. My dad was getting the run around from the hospital and Medicare. He wound up hiring an Elder Care Attorney to deal with Medicare. Until a few weeks ago I didn’t even know there was Elder Care Attorneys.

The hospital placed my stepmom in a short term care facility. They are trying to place her in a long term care facility.

If you’re going to deal with Medicare and your parents have a home and or assets over $2,000 you need to be aware of the law regarding how Medicare works for nursing care homes.
One of the facilities wanted $250 a day up front.
The lawyer was not cheap but my parents losing their assets is not an option.

I live 2.5 hours away and it’s a pain for me I couldn’t imagine trying to do it from 7 hrs away.
Hope you can get it figured out without too much stress on your family.

 

[Stob]

Thanks again guys!

After five days of research, online chats, phone calls and finally finding a route to progress, I will be taking my father to an appt on Monday at 1040am. The first step is bringing this to the attention of the PCP. Period. Without this step, nothing else happens. A hard lesson to learn.

I'll keep yall updated and am forever grateful for the support.

 

[westcobbdog]

Good luck and it's a multi person job to keep up with and manage the elderly's needs. Have my 94 and 89 yr old in laws living in my basement the last year. Both with some dimentia / Alzheimer's. They have private care that rotates working here 7 days per week. They are lucky that they can afford pretty good private care, but we also daily help, sometimes at all hours of the day.