Panhandling - Two sides of the coin

[DDD]

I have noticed in recent months that panhandling around Winder and Bethlehem has gotten BAD. They seem to be begging all around Walmart and the Target / Publix shopping center in Bethlehem.

However, there are two sides of this coin and I am interested to know what you folks think.

First side, I saw this guy with a sign at the Target shopping center. "Hungry - Please help - Anything" I stopped and rolled the window down and I said, "Sir, if you will meet me right up there at McDonald's, I will buy you whatever you want." He folded the sign up and started walking... sorta fast, towards the McDonalds. I parked the truck and he walked in with me.

He stunk.

We walked in McD's and people were looking at him like he didn't belong. He ordered a double cheese burger meal and a large drink. I asked him what he was going to eat tomorrow morning and he shrugged and said, hopefully someone like yourself comes along? I ordered him 2 of those meals so I knew he would have something to eat. We got our food and we sat near the back of the store. He talked and talked and talked. He ate like I do at Longhorns. It couldn't get in his belly fast enough.

Desert storm vet, had a good job until 2009, lost his house, family lives in Mississippi and they are about as poor as he is and can't help him. No wife and no kids. While I am talking to him a man walks over and says, "I heard you say you are a vet, what branch did you serve in? "82nd Airborne" Guy hands him a $20 bill puts his hand on my shoulder, tears running down his face and says, "I know its not much but I've been where you are and somebody gave me $20 one day and now my life is different, don't give up."

I talked to the McDonald's manager and asked her if he could sit there as long as he liked and to please not kick him out and she agreed since he had bought some food and was a "customer". He said he slept behind the Target that he had made a "house" out of pallets, shopping carts and some tarps. His name was Michael. I have not seen him there since. I even looked for him today. I am hoping something good has happened to him and that he's off the street.


Now the other side of the coin. 2 weeks ago I get out of my truck at Publix (same parking lot that Michael was in), my kids are getting out and a woman walks up to me with a note. Note says she can't speak English and needs money to feed her family and it ask for a $5 donation. (The english handwriting is female and VERY good) I say to her, "No habla ingles?" she says, "No Senor" to which I respond, "senora, yo no llevar dinero en efectivo." (Mam, I don't carry cash) with a smile on my face. She jerks the note out of my hand and in english says, "leave me alone" and she hurries off, looking back sort of in anger and maybe embarrassment. Scam.

As well, I have seen men and women begging at the intersections in front of the Winder Wal-mart. Today we saw 2 officers confronting two beggars in front of the Wal-Mart. (man and woman) I was getting gas and just watched, I could not hear what was said. It looked like the officer gave them a ticket. The two officers sent them on their way and they started across the parking lot. They crossed through a few rows of cars and doubled back across the parking lot. I thought they were going back to the corner and then they got in a 4 door decent looking car and pulled out!!! Both smoking cigarettes!!!

So I find myself conflicted. It drives me nuts for people to beg at a corner just to try and beg money out of people's pockets. Then I meet Michael who doesn't have a pot to **** in and all he cares about is his next meal? I am not dumb, I am sure he probably made some bad decisions along the way, but he's not scamming people, he's surviving. Lady is trying to scam me out of money and Michael is living in a makeshift box?

I know I am rambling... but I find myself conflicted. It's so easy not to give these people money because you don't want to be scammed, but when I see a guy that says he's hungry and he OBVIOUSLY is, I can't help but feed him. I had $5 on me and I gave it to Michael. He said he never begs for money but people give it to him. I told him he needed to make him a sign that said, "No Car but I will work" He stopped eating and looked up at me and said, "Do you really think someone will let me work and then bring me back to here?" I said, "Dude, if I had work for you to do, I would." He nodded up and down, chewing his burger... "I need to try that then."

I am hoping it worked for him.

But where is the line? I feel sorry for the cops too. I am sure they see all sorts of sad situations but they have an obligation to follow the law as well and I support them in that 100%. Maybe my hard nose thoughts on this have gotten softened a little bit? However I want to wish a swarm of mad bees on the scammers.

What's the answer? Interested to hear you folks thoughts.

 

[jigman29]

We have a few here in town and I have the same trouble as you. One guy that lives on the hill where they all do never holds a sign asking for handouts. Just work. I see him around town changing trash or whatever he can at a few of the gas stations. Another one always asks for money and all the locals know him as a drunk and a guy that's to lazy to work. So you definitely see both kinds and it's hard to know who to help.

 

[sinclair1]

I didn't read everything yet, but I will at home. I give to the bums almost exclusively, they (usually men) don't have any programs like the ones who say starving family.

I do it a bit different since I focus on the ones no one wants to help. I don't try and guide them or change them, my goal is to make life easier on them. So around Christmas this usually means coats and booze. Yeah you read right, booze, I give them what they want, and to reform and be apart of society is not what they want, so booze,it is.

I pass up on the ones that claim hard times, but have fake finger nails and tattoos. They get most of the money because they are asking, so I look for the ones who don't ask, but have need. I catch you ankle deep in a dumpster, your getting a few bucks.

 

[Jeff C.]

Problem is, I've heard the former military in Desert Storm, Afghanistan, etc., too often.

When I encounter one, I make a decision based on my gut feelings or some tidbit that might incline me to believe in them, that usually being the same case as your first example.

I've offered to buy them something to eat after having told me they were hungry, but then rejected me buying it for them rather than just handing them cash.

I hate to think of ANY American Veteran having to be on the streets begging for $$$.

 

[Jeff C.]

I will add, like Sinclair, I have just come out and challenged them on their spiel before.

I've asked them before, "Tell the truth, do you need a drink or two"?

Tell me so, and I may be more inclined to give you several bucks for you honesty.

 

[KyDawg]

We got a lot of them up this way, I usually give them enough money to buy a meal. The wife say I am a sucker, but if they are nice I try to give them something. Had a guy walk up to me last week as I was pumping gas, he came right out and told me he was panhandling for enough money to feed his family and I gave him bout $7. I pulled out and drove across the street to an ACE hardware store. When I came out I saw him going into a liquor store. Unfortunately the wife saw him too, and I had to listen to how easy a mark I was.

 

[Jeff Phillips]

I would rather assume they are all real and have real needs. Their fooling me does not impact my intentions in God's eyes.

 

[DDD]

I didn't read everything yet, but I will at home. I give to the bums almost exclusively, they (usually men) don't have any programs like the ones who say starving family.

I do it a bit different since I focus on the ones no one wants to help. I don't try and guide them or change them, my goal is to make life easier on them. So around Christmas this usually means coats and booze. Yeah you read right, booze, I give them what they want, and to reform and be apart of society is not what they want, so booze,it is.

I pass up on the ones that claim hard times, but have fake finger nails and tattoos. They get most of the money because they are asking, so I look for the ones who don't ask, but have need. I catch you ankle deep in a dumpster, your getting a few bucks.

I hear you! And if I read between the lines, if you feel like they are truly in need or honest, you help them out.

It's more of where YOUR heart is, not what their sign says.

 

[DDD]

Their fooling me does not impact my intentions in God's eyes.

Great point Jeff.

 

[sinclair1]

I hear you! And if I read between the lines, if you feel like they are truly in need or honest, you help them out.

It's more of where YOUR heart is, not what their sign says.

I give a good bit to the bums, so I pass on the temporary problem folks...I might make a quick decision to give to a sign holder, but I try and focus on the ones who are under the bridges and have been on the streets for years.
My approach of allowing booze came from talks with these guys, realizing it's a day by day life and booze is like medicine to make it until tomorrow.

Heck I made great money and used booze to get to tomorrow, so although I quit, I understand they don't need every do gooder to point them to god, they know they need him, but right this minute, they just need tomorrow.

 

[K80]

I've always went by Jeff's philosophy, however, recently on Facebook I seen someone talking about helping a homeless man in commerce holding a sign (provided a pic) for needy family. A woman posted on the picture stating it was her ex and they do have three or four hungry kids together he died not provide any support to them thru the donations he generates on their behalf. Supposedly they have a hold group of them that has started doing this along 85 and they take on a considerable amount of donations and blow it all on drugs.


I'm torn due to the generosity bestowed on us during Grant's journey.

 

[DDD]

I've always went by Jeff's philosophy, however, recently on Facebook I seen someone talking about helping a homeless man in commerce holding a sign (provided a pic) for needy family. A woman posted on the picture stating it was her ex and they do have three or four hungry kids together he died not provide any support to them thru the donations he generates on their behalf. Supposedly they have a hold group of them that has started doing this along 85 and they take on a considerable amount of donations and blow it all on drugs.


I'm torn due to the generosity bestowed on us during Grant's journey.

First off, Grant continues that journey to this day and you guys have taken a tragedy and turned it into something so much bigger.

Second, I know that a lot of people don't give to panhandlers and do give to foundations like you guys because they know that the money is going directly to someone or a group of someone's who need it, instead of it going to support a habit.


God bless you man! I can't imagine what you guys have been through and continue to go through!

 

[ClemsonRangers]

i get a feeling about a person on if they are sincere or not, we even have regulars who show up at certain places and someone feeds them, i usually steer clear of folks traveling through asking for money

 

[crackerdave]

Their eyes will tell you.They are a mirror of the soul.

 

[revrandyf]

"To all who ask, give..." - Luke 6:30

 

[NCHillbilly]

99% of the panhandlers I see are professional beggars and probably make as much or more money than I do.

A woman I work with said she was coming home one evening and stopped and bought a bucket of chicken for supper. She stopped at a red light, and there was a guy there with the "hungry, will work for food" sign. She felt bad, so she called him over and gave him the bucket of chicken. She said as she drove off, she looked in the rearview mirror and saw him chunk the bucket of chicken over the road bank and pick his sign back up and hold it up to the next batch of cars.

They are usually there because they want to be. I don't have much sympathy. I get tired of the elaborate manufactured stories they all tell, too. The only panhandler I've given money to in years was the one who came up to me and said,"Man, I'll be honest. I'm a drunk, and I want a drink." I gave him $10 for sparing me the crap story.

Saw a vanload of hippies at a gas station beside I-40 near here a few weeks ago, sitting there holding their "out of gas" sign. They had New York plates, and the back window was covered with deadhead and Phish stickers. If I didn't have any money for gas, I wouldn't head out across the country on a concert road trip. Asheville is full of young, healty folks who don't want to work, their chosen career path is panhandling so they don't have to get up early in the morning or get blisters on their precious little hands. Again, I have no sympathy. I have worked my butt off all my life for what little I have, they can do the same, bless their hearts.

 

[Jeff C.]

I guess some of you missed my point. Some choose begging as a way of life. There was one here in the Jonesboro area years ago that stood at several busy intersections at stop lights with a sign that said, "Will work for food".

I know a guy personally that had been seeing him regularly for weeks and was President of a local cable company. He turned around one day and went back and asked the guy if he wanted a job. The beggar told him "NO". He said he made over a $100.00 a day standing there at busy intersections, didn't need a job.

 

[riverbank]

We got a lot of them up this way, I usually give them enough money to buy a meal. The wife say I am a sucker, but if they are nice I try to give them something. Had a guy walk up to me last week as I was pumping gas, he came right out and told me he was panhandling for enough money to feed his family and I gave him bout $7. I pulled out and drove across the street to an ACE hardware store. When I came out I saw him going into a liquor store. Unfortunately the wife saw him too, and I had to listen to how easy a mark I was.

had the same thing happen to me by a woman. We ( wife and myself) were at a car wash in Athens. Lady came up to me asking for change or anything that could help. I gave her a 5 and some singles that were in my front pocket. She thanked me and the next thing you know she jumps in a nice SUV and goes across the road to the liquor store. On the other hand. When I was around 17 years old I was in Panama city. Me, a buddy, and 2 girls we had met were in a pizza place. A homeless fella came in asking if he could sweep and mop for a slice of pizza. The Indian owner of the store cussed him out and literally chased him outside. I jumped up, ran over to the counter and in a mad rush ordered 2 slices of pizza. The guy was looking at me like i was crazy. I got those 2 slices and chased the fella down the street. When i got his attention i said here mr. Are you hungry? The guy started crying and said he was so hungry he was hurting. He thanked me, I told him to work hard and make things change for the better. And we went our separate ways.now the guy was obviously on something and had made some wrong decisions, but I can respect the fact that he came in wanting to work for something to eat.

 

[crackerdave]

You never know: God may put someone in your path to test your faith.

Jesus Himself was homeless as he walked this earth.

 

[Jeff C.]

You never know: God may put someone in your path to test your faith.

Jesus Himself was homeless as he walked this earth.

Was he a beggar and a deceiver?