difference between a sermon & a lesson: a sermon should be "life application" ...in other words, you should say "how do I apply this to my life?" and when your wife/kids are in the car leaving church, the parent should ask "what was the sermon about" "and how will you apply it to your life"
a lesson is expository, it should expose/teach something you did not know, to grow you in depth and understanding.
if a person only comes on Sunday morning, they should get a message they can apply to their life over the next week, so they can grow closer to God, and they will want to come to lessons when they grow.
the below is in sections, stop early, or keep going as the Spirit leads you.
a buddy runs a prison ministry, I will give him a copy, i think guys getting out prison have problems with love.
use it as you see fit. I don't have any care: edit it, re-write, or re-post it on other sites, preach it long, preach it loud, to women or men, i don't care.
just pray more, love more, and spread the word.
The theme of our sermon is “we should Operate out of LOVE”
“The way God wired man and woman creates two different basic needs: men need respect, and women need love. When these needs are not met, there is friction in the home. This is because when the need of a wife for love, and the need of a husband for respect are not met, they get defensive. “ and maybe offensive…they attack before you can!
Men, we are not going to talk about Respect today: respect is something you earn. We are going to talk about Love. If a man displays love “properly,” he will automatically earn respect.
Love changes things, Love changes people. You cannot change a man with anger, but you can change anyone with love.
Love is the second greatest force on this planet. If you could condense all Jesus’ actions, all the New Testament, all the Old Testament, if you could condense the whole Bible into one word: it would be LOVE.
How do Men learn to show love?
The problem with most men is self-image…men think a tough guy is how they should be seen, they think all women watch Bruce Willis “Die Hard” movies and want a man who goes around being rough and tough, shooting and cussing and tearing stuff up.
And men tend to operate with that motive in mind. They base every action on hate, anger, meanness, and the ability to “do unto you BEFORE you are able to do unto me.” Many women operate of out anger also, mainly so they can be mean to you, before you are mean to them.
Beloved, you cannot call people brother, sister, mother, father, family…and base every decision, every word, and every action that involves them on anger. You need to operate out of love.
The Greek word is agape—it means “unconditional love,” which is not a soft feeling based on the attractive nature or appearance of the other person. Agape is not physical love, Agape is forgiving love.
Agape forms through an act of our will. When we choose to love, our emotions follow the decision of our mind. When our heart, our emotions, our mind are set on love: we operate out of love. Every decision we make is based on loving this other person more than we love our self. The Bible says:
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
Men, how should we react when our wives come to us? In love:
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for
her,
If Christ gave Himself to us, can we not give ourselves to ourselves to our wives? The bible says we are to act OUT OF LOVE towards our wives. Never do anything you will have to apologize for later. Never do anything you will regret. Never call her names that make her think you do not love her.
If your wife wants to buy something, pray about it, and TELL her “Honey, I love you, and you are awesome, beautiful, and intelligent. Our money is tight, and things are tough, but I like to buy you little things to make you happy”
Say: “honey, let’s get down on our knees and pray to God about this”
Several things will happen: your wife will realize: you are a PRAYING MAN. You LOVE her. In addition, you LOVE God. And she will think, “Hmm, my husband thinks I am worth getting down on his knees to pray to an Almighty God who created this world, about a little trinket I want”
Your wife has to DEAL with that…she cannot dismiss you, she cannot say you do not love her, she cannot say you do not make enough money (because now you are talking about God’s money).
Your wife should love you enough to get on your knees and pray with you, and she should respect you as the leader of your house, because the Bible says:
Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
And what is the only way to create that love & respect? It is to love her more, pray for her more, hold her more, convince her of your undying love…and she will love you more. Love changes things. Buying junk don’t change things. Fancy clothes & shiny cars do not change things. The unhappiest people in the world have the biggest houses, the fanciest cloths, and the fastest cars. What they do not have…is love. Love changes things.
Here’s a problem with some “tough guys”…they cannot honor a woman who they think is weak. Tough guys think if a woman, either their mother or wife, loves them wholeheartedly, deep down, without bounds and conditions…that female is weak.
That’s a lie. A flat out lie. That woman is loving like God loves, the Bible says.
Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That’s right men..God Almighty, in His power and strength…in all His Glory…saw something worthwhile in us. And your mother or your wifes sees that too. She sees the Man you COULD BE…if you would let go and LET GOD.
Women do not love out of weakness, out of neediness, women have a deep abiding love that rests deep in their soul, that lets them overlook your faults and mistakes, and lets see your potential. We should live up to potential.
And that is what today’s sermon is about…if we could get men to love like this…these men would change the world!
Love changes this.
Sometimes, your wife or kids may ask you something, and you wonder, why can I not respond in anger? Because anger is useless.
How many of you sit around, planning your next EXPLOSION…when ___ gets here, “I am really going to LET THEM HAVE IT, I am going to go CRAZY on them, over the top,”
Why would you do that? Anger does not breed love, respect, trust, family. Anger tears down, it does not build up. The Bible says:
Proverbs 30:33
For as the churning of milk produces butter, And wringing the nose produces blood, So the forcing of wrath produces strife
Anger is totally useless. Anger only breeds more useless Anger. What do you do when you encounter an angry person? You go out of your way to avoid them. You spend time & effort avoiding them. You begin to plan your day around avoiding them.
But what do you do when you encounter someone who operates out of love?
If a man, now we are talking about a manly man, a man you respect, a man you thought was upright, someone about whom, you had said, “I want to be like him some day…”
If he came to you in anger, and told you son, “you are doing wrong, and I am mad you and I want to counsel you, I am just so mad”
What would happen? Instead of drawing closer to Christ and each other, there would be division, strife, and on down the road, you would separate yourself from this man, and probably from the church.
But now, if a man operated out of a LOVE, if he saturated in prayer whatever he did not like about you…now we are still talking about a manly man, a man you respect, a big man, a strong man, a man you thought was upright, someone about who you had said “I want to be like him some day…”
If he comes to you in LOVE and says “my brother in Christ, I love you, I watch you grow, I hear you pray, and I see you walking a path I once walked, and I want to draw close to you and help you…can I draw close to you in love, in Christian fellowship, and pray with you? Can we draw near to God in prayer?”
The bible says
James 4:8
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Psalm 69:18
Draw near to my soul, and redeem it; Deliver me because of my enemies.
Psalm 73:28
But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, That I may declare all Your works.
When a man…a big man, a tough man, a man with backbone… strong in the Word, and saturated in prayer…comes to you in LOVE….you HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM.
You cannot joke it off. You cannot leave it alone. You know God Almighty has put a burden on this man’s soul, and God has sent this man to deal with some sin in your life.
A man like that changes things. He keeps you awake at night. You worry and get a knot in your stomach…wondering, “what kind of sin do I have, and what am I worth, that God sent his Son to die on the cross, and then he sent this man….that I respected, that I admired…to come to me, and tell me he loves me.. And that he wants to PRAY WITH ME?”
“Why would this man want to get down on his hands and knees with me, and help me draw closer to God?” “What will happen if I do?” “What will happen if I DON’T?”
A man... or a woman…who operates out of love demands respect, time, and attention and is worth modeling yourself after. That is the kind of person you should be. Do not go thru this life empty. Do not be a wasted breath of God. The Bible says:
Genesis 2:7
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.
God breathed his live into you… so that you could show HIS love TO EVERYONE, everywhere, anywhere, whenever.
Do not live this life without Love: love changes things, Love changes people. Do not walk this earth and be a useless human, a useless man or woman whose time is nothing but a vapor. Even the Bible says:
James 4:14
whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
Before you vanish away, be someone that other people talk about, that they say “I knew this one old boy, HE COULD PRAY, he would hug you, tell he loved you, and then he would PRAY, oh Lord, he would pray and ring the prayer bells of Heaven”
Be a man that people say when you are gone, “boy, I would LOVE to hear him pray again, love to be able to him reaching up to Heaven and tugging on God’s sleeve for a blessing to come down on this old sorry earth”
I tell you, beloved, you cannot be a Prayer Warrior until you make every decision in your live out of love.
Love is a mirror…and your children will reflect the love you showed. Your wife, your kids, your work, your church, will all reflect the love that you show. The Bible says:
2 Corinthians 3:18
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.
Love changes things…and it we should beg & plead for God to have His love CHANGE and re-make us in His Image so that we may glorify and honor God.
Beloved, let us pray, and if you need to get right with God today, come on down.
All hearts & minds clear? Let us pray…
The Bible says:
Romans 5:18
Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life.
That’s talking Jesus, but it also means that one man…one man who loves others more than himself, can communicate the free gift of the gospel to all men, and those men can be justified and saved.
If you want to communicate with a woman, you speak out of Love. If you want to communicate with a man, you speak out of respect. Here’s an example of how a wife could speak to her husband:
“You are an idiot, and every decision you make is stupid”
That’s operateing out of anger, hatred and meanness. Instead, how about:
“You are a good husband, you usually make good decisions, but I think this decision is not a good one”
See? She impled that she respected him, that he usually does good, but today he is not living up to her expectations of his greatness. No husband wants to look bad in front of his wife, so he will WISELY consider her counsel before he makes this decision.
Here’s a question: “In the middle of a conflict with your spouse, how do you feel?”
If you are man, you feel like she don’t respect you. If you are woman, you feel like he doesn’t love you. When that one basic need in your live is not being fulfilled, and you look for a different spouse.
One way to show love is positive reinforcement: tell your wife and kids they are awesome, smart, strong, intelligent. Tell them how proud you are of them. If your kids hear you saying “boy, you are smart, I am PROUD of you!” and then they go to school and the teacher says “you do pretty good, with a little more effort, you could be doing GREAT!”
Them kids get to thinking about that: Mama says I am smart (that is just because she loves me) Daddy says I smart (he just wants me to get rich and buy him a big house) Teacher says I am smart…. “hey!! All three of them can’t be wrong, I AM SMART!”
That’s called a Self-fulfilling prophecy, when you keep telling someone they can go faster, farther, smarter, stronger than they ever thought they could…and they DO!! They excel beyond your wildest dreams, because they want to live up to your expectations.
If you love your kids, you will provide positive reinforcement and show them love, because that is the basis of a successful life: for them to have people who love them, and for people who love them, to expect them to do good.
Our actions have consequences, and if we repeat our actions, we will have recurring results, so if we keep loving them, and expecting them to do good….they will love us, and they will do good, and they will make us proud..and we will love them even more.
Another thing “my mama told me..if you ain’t got nothing good to say….”
“keep your mouth shut”
We talking about love? I love me gossip..love gossip! You know where some good BBQ is in town? Tell me!! You know who has the best & cheapest fried catfish? Which Chinese buffet is best? Tell me!!! Don’t holdback!
But real gossip? I don’t care. Don’t wanna hear it. If I hear gossip, that creates in me a DUTY, a chance, an oppurtinity, a LIABILITY to do something with it. I have too!
But if I don’t heard it, if I don’t know it…. I don’t care. And now, as I have gotten more centered on God, and care less and less for the things of this world, I learn just to say NO. “No I do NOT want to hear” “keep your mouth shut” “don’t tell me, I don’t care”
You know what is more fun than spreading gossip? Is trying to stop someone from telling you gossip. It kills them, they want to lower you to their level of being a gossip and a back biter. You tell them, “NO…that person is my brother/sister in Christ, they are part of my church and I love them like Christ loves the Church, and I will not talk bad about them.”
If you react to gossip with love and scripture, nobody can fault you. React with LOVE and scripture.
I know a young man that is doing drugs, drinking, fighting, cussing. Just about intolerable. You can’t stand to be around that boy. The constant question parents have is “what should I do for my child in his current condition”
The obvious answers are: prayer, all three kinds of prayer: intercessory prayer, on your knees prayer, corporate prayer. If those don’t work, try the other types of prayer: walking, sleeping, driving, working, resting, eating, and the ole standy, “anytime prayer”
The second thing is you cannot enable: you can’t say here is $50, i love you, go buy some diapers. Because you and that child both know the power of addiction, and you know they will go buy booze or drugs. You have to go buy diapers and give to the parents so they can take care of the baby.
You have to act out of love. You have to think, what will my child say about this period in their live, if Jesus Christ changes their heart mind and soul, and brings them to be a CHILD OF CHRIST.
What will they say? My parents led to Christ…because they loved me, even in my sin they loved me…or will they say: my parents pushed me farther into sin, by they way they treated me!
If you live today, thinking about “what will my children think of me when I am gone” you will surely act out of love.
You cannot act out of anger/hatred/spite/revenge/vengenace and think “oh yeah, in the future, my children will love me and think I was awesome”
Love is a mirror…and your children will reflect the love you showed. Your wife, your kids, your work, your church, will all reflect the love that you show.
Supporting verses:
2 John 1:4
I rejoiced greatly that I have found some of your children walking in truth, as we received commandment from the Father.
John 13:33-35
33 Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come,’ so now I say to you.
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.
Jeremiah 29:11-12
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
Matthew 7:17
Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
Matthew 12:35-37
35 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.
36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
James 5:16
16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Lamentations 5:12
Princes were hung up by their hands, And elders were not respected.
Deuteronomy 28:50
a nation of fierce countenance, which does not respect the elderly nor show favor to the young.
Romans 1:29
being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers,
Online Article “Why men want respect and women love”, Cited 23 Aug 2013
http://www.tribune.com.ng/news2013/...7651-why-men-want-respect-and-women-love.html
Online Article “Basics of Love and Respect”, Cited 23 Aug 2013
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/mar...ect_principle/basics_of_love_and_respect.aspx
a lesson is expository, it should expose/teach something you did not know, to grow you in depth and understanding.
if a person only comes on Sunday morning, they should get a message they can apply to their life over the next week, so they can grow closer to God, and they will want to come to lessons when they grow.
the below is in sections, stop early, or keep going as the Spirit leads you.
a buddy runs a prison ministry, I will give him a copy, i think guys getting out prison have problems with love.
use it as you see fit. I don't have any care: edit it, re-write, or re-post it on other sites, preach it long, preach it loud, to women or men, i don't care.
just pray more, love more, and spread the word.
The theme of our sermon is “we should Operate out of LOVE”
“The way God wired man and woman creates two different basic needs: men need respect, and women need love. When these needs are not met, there is friction in the home. This is because when the need of a wife for love, and the need of a husband for respect are not met, they get defensive. “ and maybe offensive…they attack before you can!
Men, we are not going to talk about Respect today: respect is something you earn. We are going to talk about Love. If a man displays love “properly,” he will automatically earn respect.
Love changes things, Love changes people. You cannot change a man with anger, but you can change anyone with love.
Love is the second greatest force on this planet. If you could condense all Jesus’ actions, all the New Testament, all the Old Testament, if you could condense the whole Bible into one word: it would be LOVE.
How do Men learn to show love?
The problem with most men is self-image…men think a tough guy is how they should be seen, they think all women watch Bruce Willis “Die Hard” movies and want a man who goes around being rough and tough, shooting and cussing and tearing stuff up.
And men tend to operate with that motive in mind. They base every action on hate, anger, meanness, and the ability to “do unto you BEFORE you are able to do unto me.” Many women operate of out anger also, mainly so they can be mean to you, before you are mean to them.
Beloved, you cannot call people brother, sister, mother, father, family…and base every decision, every word, and every action that involves them on anger. You need to operate out of love.
The Greek word is agape—it means “unconditional love,” which is not a soft feeling based on the attractive nature or appearance of the other person. Agape is not physical love, Agape is forgiving love.
Agape forms through an act of our will. When we choose to love, our emotions follow the decision of our mind. When our heart, our emotions, our mind are set on love: we operate out of love. Every decision we make is based on loving this other person more than we love our self. The Bible says:
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
Men, how should we react when our wives come to us? In love:
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for
her,
If Christ gave Himself to us, can we not give ourselves to ourselves to our wives? The bible says we are to act OUT OF LOVE towards our wives. Never do anything you will have to apologize for later. Never do anything you will regret. Never call her names that make her think you do not love her.
If your wife wants to buy something, pray about it, and TELL her “Honey, I love you, and you are awesome, beautiful, and intelligent. Our money is tight, and things are tough, but I like to buy you little things to make you happy”
Say: “honey, let’s get down on our knees and pray to God about this”
Several things will happen: your wife will realize: you are a PRAYING MAN. You LOVE her. In addition, you LOVE God. And she will think, “Hmm, my husband thinks I am worth getting down on his knees to pray to an Almighty God who created this world, about a little trinket I want”
Your wife has to DEAL with that…she cannot dismiss you, she cannot say you do not love her, she cannot say you do not make enough money (because now you are talking about God’s money).
Your wife should love you enough to get on your knees and pray with you, and she should respect you as the leader of your house, because the Bible says:
Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
And what is the only way to create that love & respect? It is to love her more, pray for her more, hold her more, convince her of your undying love…and she will love you more. Love changes things. Buying junk don’t change things. Fancy clothes & shiny cars do not change things. The unhappiest people in the world have the biggest houses, the fanciest cloths, and the fastest cars. What they do not have…is love. Love changes things.
Here’s a problem with some “tough guys”…they cannot honor a woman who they think is weak. Tough guys think if a woman, either their mother or wife, loves them wholeheartedly, deep down, without bounds and conditions…that female is weak.
That’s a lie. A flat out lie. That woman is loving like God loves, the Bible says.
Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That’s right men..God Almighty, in His power and strength…in all His Glory…saw something worthwhile in us. And your mother or your wifes sees that too. She sees the Man you COULD BE…if you would let go and LET GOD.
Women do not love out of weakness, out of neediness, women have a deep abiding love that rests deep in their soul, that lets them overlook your faults and mistakes, and lets see your potential. We should live up to potential.
And that is what today’s sermon is about…if we could get men to love like this…these men would change the world!
Love changes this.
Sometimes, your wife or kids may ask you something, and you wonder, why can I not respond in anger? Because anger is useless.
How many of you sit around, planning your next EXPLOSION…when ___ gets here, “I am really going to LET THEM HAVE IT, I am going to go CRAZY on them, over the top,”
Why would you do that? Anger does not breed love, respect, trust, family. Anger tears down, it does not build up. The Bible says:
Proverbs 30:33
For as the churning of milk produces butter, And wringing the nose produces blood, So the forcing of wrath produces strife
Anger is totally useless. Anger only breeds more useless Anger. What do you do when you encounter an angry person? You go out of your way to avoid them. You spend time & effort avoiding them. You begin to plan your day around avoiding them.
But what do you do when you encounter someone who operates out of love?
If a man, now we are talking about a manly man, a man you respect, a man you thought was upright, someone about whom, you had said, “I want to be like him some day…”
If he came to you in anger, and told you son, “you are doing wrong, and I am mad you and I want to counsel you, I am just so mad”
What would happen? Instead of drawing closer to Christ and each other, there would be division, strife, and on down the road, you would separate yourself from this man, and probably from the church.
But now, if a man operated out of a LOVE, if he saturated in prayer whatever he did not like about you…now we are still talking about a manly man, a man you respect, a big man, a strong man, a man you thought was upright, someone about who you had said “I want to be like him some day…”
If he comes to you in LOVE and says “my brother in Christ, I love you, I watch you grow, I hear you pray, and I see you walking a path I once walked, and I want to draw close to you and help you…can I draw close to you in love, in Christian fellowship, and pray with you? Can we draw near to God in prayer?”
The bible says
James 4:8
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Psalm 69:18
Draw near to my soul, and redeem it; Deliver me because of my enemies.
Psalm 73:28
But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, That I may declare all Your works.
When a man…a big man, a tough man, a man with backbone… strong in the Word, and saturated in prayer…comes to you in LOVE….you HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM.
You cannot joke it off. You cannot leave it alone. You know God Almighty has put a burden on this man’s soul, and God has sent this man to deal with some sin in your life.
A man like that changes things. He keeps you awake at night. You worry and get a knot in your stomach…wondering, “what kind of sin do I have, and what am I worth, that God sent his Son to die on the cross, and then he sent this man….that I respected, that I admired…to come to me, and tell me he loves me.. And that he wants to PRAY WITH ME?”
“Why would this man want to get down on his hands and knees with me, and help me draw closer to God?” “What will happen if I do?” “What will happen if I DON’T?”
A man... or a woman…who operates out of love demands respect, time, and attention and is worth modeling yourself after. That is the kind of person you should be. Do not go thru this life empty. Do not be a wasted breath of God. The Bible says:
Genesis 2:7
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.
God breathed his live into you… so that you could show HIS love TO EVERYONE, everywhere, anywhere, whenever.
Do not live this life without Love: love changes things, Love changes people. Do not walk this earth and be a useless human, a useless man or woman whose time is nothing but a vapor. Even the Bible says:
James 4:14
whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.
Before you vanish away, be someone that other people talk about, that they say “I knew this one old boy, HE COULD PRAY, he would hug you, tell he loved you, and then he would PRAY, oh Lord, he would pray and ring the prayer bells of Heaven”
Be a man that people say when you are gone, “boy, I would LOVE to hear him pray again, love to be able to him reaching up to Heaven and tugging on God’s sleeve for a blessing to come down on this old sorry earth”
I tell you, beloved, you cannot be a Prayer Warrior until you make every decision in your live out of love.
Love is a mirror…and your children will reflect the love you showed. Your wife, your kids, your work, your church, will all reflect the love that you show. The Bible says:
2 Corinthians 3:18
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.
Love changes things…and it we should beg & plead for God to have His love CHANGE and re-make us in His Image so that we may glorify and honor God.
Beloved, let us pray, and if you need to get right with God today, come on down.
All hearts & minds clear? Let us pray…
The Bible says:
Romans 5:18
Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life.
That’s talking Jesus, but it also means that one man…one man who loves others more than himself, can communicate the free gift of the gospel to all men, and those men can be justified and saved.
If you want to communicate with a woman, you speak out of Love. If you want to communicate with a man, you speak out of respect. Here’s an example of how a wife could speak to her husband:
“You are an idiot, and every decision you make is stupid”
That’s operateing out of anger, hatred and meanness. Instead, how about:
“You are a good husband, you usually make good decisions, but I think this decision is not a good one”
See? She impled that she respected him, that he usually does good, but today he is not living up to her expectations of his greatness. No husband wants to look bad in front of his wife, so he will WISELY consider her counsel before he makes this decision.
Here’s a question: “In the middle of a conflict with your spouse, how do you feel?”
If you are man, you feel like she don’t respect you. If you are woman, you feel like he doesn’t love you. When that one basic need in your live is not being fulfilled, and you look for a different spouse.
One way to show love is positive reinforcement: tell your wife and kids they are awesome, smart, strong, intelligent. Tell them how proud you are of them. If your kids hear you saying “boy, you are smart, I am PROUD of you!” and then they go to school and the teacher says “you do pretty good, with a little more effort, you could be doing GREAT!”
Them kids get to thinking about that: Mama says I am smart (that is just because she loves me) Daddy says I smart (he just wants me to get rich and buy him a big house) Teacher says I am smart…. “hey!! All three of them can’t be wrong, I AM SMART!”
That’s called a Self-fulfilling prophecy, when you keep telling someone they can go faster, farther, smarter, stronger than they ever thought they could…and they DO!! They excel beyond your wildest dreams, because they want to live up to your expectations.
If you love your kids, you will provide positive reinforcement and show them love, because that is the basis of a successful life: for them to have people who love them, and for people who love them, to expect them to do good.
Our actions have consequences, and if we repeat our actions, we will have recurring results, so if we keep loving them, and expecting them to do good….they will love us, and they will do good, and they will make us proud..and we will love them even more.
Another thing “my mama told me..if you ain’t got nothing good to say….”
“keep your mouth shut”
We talking about love? I love me gossip..love gossip! You know where some good BBQ is in town? Tell me!! You know who has the best & cheapest fried catfish? Which Chinese buffet is best? Tell me!!! Don’t holdback!
But real gossip? I don’t care. Don’t wanna hear it. If I hear gossip, that creates in me a DUTY, a chance, an oppurtinity, a LIABILITY to do something with it. I have too!
But if I don’t heard it, if I don’t know it…. I don’t care. And now, as I have gotten more centered on God, and care less and less for the things of this world, I learn just to say NO. “No I do NOT want to hear” “keep your mouth shut” “don’t tell me, I don’t care”
You know what is more fun than spreading gossip? Is trying to stop someone from telling you gossip. It kills them, they want to lower you to their level of being a gossip and a back biter. You tell them, “NO…that person is my brother/sister in Christ, they are part of my church and I love them like Christ loves the Church, and I will not talk bad about them.”
If you react to gossip with love and scripture, nobody can fault you. React with LOVE and scripture.
I know a young man that is doing drugs, drinking, fighting, cussing. Just about intolerable. You can’t stand to be around that boy. The constant question parents have is “what should I do for my child in his current condition”
The obvious answers are: prayer, all three kinds of prayer: intercessory prayer, on your knees prayer, corporate prayer. If those don’t work, try the other types of prayer: walking, sleeping, driving, working, resting, eating, and the ole standy, “anytime prayer”
The second thing is you cannot enable: you can’t say here is $50, i love you, go buy some diapers. Because you and that child both know the power of addiction, and you know they will go buy booze or drugs. You have to go buy diapers and give to the parents so they can take care of the baby.
You have to act out of love. You have to think, what will my child say about this period in their live, if Jesus Christ changes their heart mind and soul, and brings them to be a CHILD OF CHRIST.
What will they say? My parents led to Christ…because they loved me, even in my sin they loved me…or will they say: my parents pushed me farther into sin, by they way they treated me!
If you live today, thinking about “what will my children think of me when I am gone” you will surely act out of love.
You cannot act out of anger/hatred/spite/revenge/vengenace and think “oh yeah, in the future, my children will love me and think I was awesome”
Love is a mirror…and your children will reflect the love you showed. Your wife, your kids, your work, your church, will all reflect the love that you show.
Supporting verses:
2 John 1:4
I rejoiced greatly that I have found some of your children walking in truth, as we received commandment from the Father.
John 13:33-35
33 Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer. You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, ‘Where I am going, you cannot come,’ so now I say to you.
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Proverbs 15:28
The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.
Jeremiah 29:11-12
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
Matthew 7:17
Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
Matthew 12:35-37
35 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.
36 But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
James 5:16
16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Lamentations 5:12
Princes were hung up by their hands, And elders were not respected.
Deuteronomy 28:50
a nation of fierce countenance, which does not respect the elderly nor show favor to the young.
Romans 1:29
being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers,
Online Article “Why men want respect and women love”, Cited 23 Aug 2013
http://www.tribune.com.ng/news2013/...7651-why-men-want-respect-and-women-love.html
Online Article “Basics of Love and Respect”, Cited 23 Aug 2013
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/mar...ect_principle/basics_of_love_and_respect.aspx
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