EAGLE EYE 444
King Casanova
Well "Opening Day" of Regular Firearm deer hunting season has arrived. I hope that the story below is not happening to you this morning!!!
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Most of you that are married and have been for at least a few years already know about or have experienced the following. If you are NOT married yet, then just remember that after you are married, you quickly learn NOT, and I repeat NOT, to EVER tell of the following situation to your spouse. Trust me, you will loose your ability to sleep on "your side of the bed" if you should ever share this with them. I hope that all of you will enjoy this somewhat typical encounter that has happened to most of us at some point along the way.
THE DEER HUNTER (Author unknown)
1:00 AM Alarm clock rings
2:00 AM Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed
2:30 AM Throw everything except the kitchen sink in pick-up
3:00 AM Leave for the deep woods
3:15 AM Drive back home and pick up gun
3:30 AM Drive like heck to get to the woods by daylight
4:00 AM Set up camp - Then realize you forgot the tent
4:30 AM Head into woods
6:05 AM See deer, take aim, squeeze trigger
6:06 AM Click.....
6:07 AM Load gun while watching deer go over hill
8:00 AM Head back to camp
9:00 AM Still looking for camp
10:00 AM Realize you don't know where camp is
12:00 PM Fire gun for help. Eat wild berries
12:15 PM Run Out of bullets. Eight smiling deer walk by
12:20 PM Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 PM Realize that you ate poison berries
12:45 PM Rescued !!!
12:55 PM Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 PM Arrive back at camp
3:30 PM Leave camp to kill deer
4:00 PM Return to camp for bullets. See partner's 10 point buck
4:05 PM Load gun. Leave camp again
5:00 PM Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you
6:00 PM Arrive at camp. See deer grazing at camp
6:01 PM Load gun
6:02 PM Fire gun
6:03 PM One dead pick-up truck
6:05 PM Hunting partner returns to camp dragging Elk
6:06 PM Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07 PM Fall into fire
6:10 PM Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire
6:15 PM Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer and Elk in the woods
6:25 PM Pick-up boils over. Hole shot in block
6:26 PM Start walking
6:30 PM Stumble and fall. Drop gun in mud
6:35 PM Meet deer
6:36 PM Take aim
6:36 PM Fire gun, blow up barrel - plugged with mud
6:37 PM Meet Bear
6:38 PM Crap in pants
6:39 PM Climb tree
9:00 PM Bear departs. Wrap dang gun around tree
11:59 PM Home at last
1:00 PM Sunday- Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing license into little pieces. Place in envelope and mail to game warden with clear instructions where to place it.
****************************
***The MAIN thing is...... I hope that all of you will have a safe hunting experience this season and enjoy every minute of it.
******************
Most of you that are married and have been for at least a few years already know about or have experienced the following. If you are NOT married yet, then just remember that after you are married, you quickly learn NOT, and I repeat NOT, to EVER tell of the following situation to your spouse. Trust me, you will loose your ability to sleep on "your side of the bed" if you should ever share this with them. I hope that all of you will enjoy this somewhat typical encounter that has happened to most of us at some point along the way.
THE DEER HUNTER (Author unknown)
1:00 AM Alarm clock rings
2:00 AM Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed
2:30 AM Throw everything except the kitchen sink in pick-up
3:00 AM Leave for the deep woods
3:15 AM Drive back home and pick up gun
3:30 AM Drive like heck to get to the woods by daylight
4:00 AM Set up camp - Then realize you forgot the tent
4:30 AM Head into woods
6:05 AM See deer, take aim, squeeze trigger
6:06 AM Click.....
6:07 AM Load gun while watching deer go over hill
8:00 AM Head back to camp
9:00 AM Still looking for camp
10:00 AM Realize you don't know where camp is
12:00 PM Fire gun for help. Eat wild berries
12:15 PM Run Out of bullets. Eight smiling deer walk by
12:20 PM Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 PM Realize that you ate poison berries
12:45 PM Rescued !!!
12:55 PM Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 PM Arrive back at camp
3:30 PM Leave camp to kill deer
4:00 PM Return to camp for bullets. See partner's 10 point buck
4:05 PM Load gun. Leave camp again
5:00 PM Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you
6:00 PM Arrive at camp. See deer grazing at camp
6:01 PM Load gun
6:02 PM Fire gun
6:03 PM One dead pick-up truck
6:05 PM Hunting partner returns to camp dragging Elk
6:06 PM Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07 PM Fall into fire
6:10 PM Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire
6:15 PM Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer and Elk in the woods
6:25 PM Pick-up boils over. Hole shot in block
6:26 PM Start walking
6:30 PM Stumble and fall. Drop gun in mud
6:35 PM Meet deer
6:36 PM Take aim
6:36 PM Fire gun, blow up barrel - plugged with mud
6:37 PM Meet Bear
6:38 PM Crap in pants
6:39 PM Climb tree
9:00 PM Bear departs. Wrap dang gun around tree
11:59 PM Home at last
1:00 PM Sunday- Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing license into little pieces. Place in envelope and mail to game warden with clear instructions where to place it.
****************************
***The MAIN thing is...... I hope that all of you will have a safe hunting experience this season and enjoy every minute of it.
