February 2024 CE ever changing ruminations on life

[oldfella1962]

Okay folks now that I am experiencing a "life changing" event in progress, it's healthy to take a step back and reflect on it. So in no particular order nor format, here are some very general but of course reality-based observations & opinions that can be understood - if not agreed upon - by pretty much everybody on the planet. I suggest reading these to
yourselves in a Chicago accent to get the full oldfella effect.
I have provided two brief video links if you are unfamiliar with this rapidly disappearing accent. Disclaimer - as always, take everything I say with a grain of salt.

1) there is no "master plan". Everything does not "happen for a reason". That said when bad things happen, most of the time we can turn at least some of these lemons into lemonade.
2) there is no such thing as a "wrong decision" if that decision is made with rationality using the best data available to you within the time you have available to plan.
3) always put our egos on the backburner. The universe does not exist to make us happy, and we are not that special - whether as individuals nor as a species.
4) life in general is difficult, brutal and fleetingly short. Treat people kindly whenever possible. They have a ticket for the "rocky planet" ride just like all of us do. A dirt nap awaits at the end, but that's okay - we were all taking a dirt nap when we were rudely interrupted by consciousness.
5) humans are - as far as we know - the only species with a propensity for self-pity and pessimism. No cheetah has ever woken up and said "these gazelles are just too fast for me to catch anymore. I'm not the cat I was a few years ago, and my hips are really hurting today."
6) we cannot find the truth by following a path of lies.
7) there are very few "shortcuts" in life. Be prepared to put in the legwork and sweat - whether literally or figuratively.

 

[ambush80]

I grew up in the NW burbs; Elk Grove, Schaumburg, Des Plaines, Hoffman Estates. I know all about "DA BERCE!!!!"

 

[oldfella1962]

I grew up in the NW burbs; Elk Grove, Schaumburg, Des Plaines, Hoffman Estates. I know all about "DA BERCE!!!!"

My stepdad (back in his carpenter days) worked on some "big money"
houses in Hoffman Estates, and maybe in some other places you listed.
We lived of course in low rent apartments in Lake County mostly. But that recurring "Super Fans" SNL skit was hilarious, especially Chris Farley's character. But since this is the AA&A forum, I have to mention the "deeper questions" that plagued the Super Fans:

"Now, did God create Da Bears, and make them superior to all teams? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Ditka made them superior to all other teams?"

 

[Spotlite]

All good points but in my opinion……

2. You can make a wrong decision. We all do it. Sometimes we know before we do it that it’s wrong - justifying the reason isn’t always based on using the “best data”

6. In order to know something is a lie, you must know the truth and be able to prove it……but I agree, you’ll never find truth following a path of lies.

 

[ambush80]

All good points but in my opinion……

2. You can make a wrong decision. We all do it. Sometimes we know before we do it that it’s wrong - justifying the reason isn’t always based on using the “best data”

6. In order to know something is a lie, you must know the truth and be able to prove it……but I agree, you’ll never find truth following a path of lies.

2. What is the goal? Human Flourishing? Hedonism? There are certainly many "wrong" decisions that could subvert a goal.

 

[oldfella1962]

All good points but in my opinion……

2. You can make a wrong decision. We all do it. Sometimes we know before we do it that it’s wrong - justifying the reason isn’t always based on using the “best data”

6. In order to know something is a lie, you must know the truth and be able to prove it……but I agree, you’ll never find truth following a path of lies.

Fair enough. But our own decisions are by definition ours to make. If somebody forces us to "decide" in a certain direction, then they are making the decision. Sometimes there are decisions with a negative outcome - that's just the luck of the draw - but the decision itself was still right. Decisions and outcomes are two different things. Another factor is it depends on what you mean by "wrong". Is it morally wrong or incorrect wrong?

As for knowing what a lie is versus what the truth is, unless it is mathematics we never know for sure. But if I use my own standards for determining what I consider to be false/incorrect and my own standards for what I consider to be true/accurate then accepting something as true/accurate when - by my own standards it is false/incorrect - then I am a dog chasing its tail. I can't mix & match different sets of standards for evaluating the steps in the path toward finding the truth and evaluating the goldmine of truth if and when I do find it.

 

[oldfella1962]

2. What is the goal? Human Flourishing? Hedonism? There are certainly many "wrong" decisions that could subvert a goal.

Wrong decisions towards any goal can be overcome. We just have to be willing to adapt to get back on track.

 

[ambush80]

My stepdad (back in his carpenter days) worked on some "big money"
houses in Hoffman Estates, and maybe in some other places you listed.
We lived of course in low rent apartments in Lake County mostly. But that recurring "Super Fans" SNL skit was hilarious, especially Chris Farley's character. But since this is the AA&A forum, I have to mention the "deeper questions" that plagued the Super Fans:

"Now, did God create Da Bears, and make them superior to all teams? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Ditka made them superior to all other teams?"

View attachment 1289246

When we first immigrated, we lived in what I guess would be called low income housing in Des Plaines. We lived in lots of different apartments and town houses until my parents bought their first house.

It felt like the whole world was swept up in Bears hysteria, but when we moved to GA I realized how localized the hysteria was. It showed me how strongly growing up in a particular environment can shape one's perception of reality. The '85 Bears completely pervaded everything about Chicago and everyone I knew. Outside of Illinois, no one really cared. Tribalism is very real and its influence on people is strong. That tribalism exists is completely rational, but the effects it has are often very irrational.

 

[ambush80]

Wrong decisions towards any goal can be overcome. We just have to be willing to adapt to get back on track.

In the moment, sometimes it's hard to tell if something was the right or wrong decision. Sometimes you don't know until time has passed, even then it might not be so clear how that decision affected all the stuff downstream. Observing the effects of similar decisions others have made can offer some insight when planning a course of action.

 

[oldfella1962]

When we first immigrated, we lived in what I guess would be called low income housing in Des Plaines. We lived in lots of different apartments and town houses until my parents bought their first house.

It felt like the whole world was swept up in Bears hysteria, but when we moved to GA I realized how localized the hysteria was. It showed me how strongly growing up in a particular environment can shape one's perception of reality. The '85 Bears completely pervaded everything about Chicago and everyone I knew. Outside of Illinois, no one really cared. Tribalism is very real and its influence on people is strong. That tribalism exists is completely rational, but the effects it has are often very irrational.

Yes indeed tribalism is hardwired into Homo Sapiens and pretty much all primates. Humans just do it on a very large scale and in grand fashion related to sports, politics & religion.

 

[oldfella1962]

In the moment, sometimes it's hard to tell if something was the right or wrong decision. Sometimes you don't know until time has passed, even then it might not be so clear how that decision affected all the stuff downstream. Observing the effects of similar decisions others have made can offer some insight when planning a course of action.

I agree with this! If our decisions existed in a vacuum, they wouldn't matter all that much. But in any situation with a lot of moving parts, much can go south. It is very wise to study how other people's decisions played out in similar situations in our decision-making process. I do occasionally offer advice to people from my own experiences from similar situations, and I think it helps them. That is probably the most rewarding thing about
being a parent or a grandparent.

 

[ambush80]

I agree with this! If our decisions existed in a vacuum, they wouldn't matter all that much. But in any situation with a lot of moving parts, much can go south. It is very wise to study how other people's decisions played out in similar situations in our decision-making process. I do occasionally offer advice to people from my own experiences from similar situations, and I think it helps them. That is probably the most rewarding thing about
being a parent or a grandparent.

It's extremely satisfying and humbling to be the model for your child. We never lied to our daughter and made it a point to show her that she could confirm what we told her is true. I don't promise her anything that I can't deliver, and when I promise her that something will happen, it comes to pass. We make a point of letting her know that sometimes, the right answer is "I don't know".

It's also fun watching her peel off sometimes and try to find her own way to do things. Many times she finds that the way that I suggested to do something had merit. Sometimes she finds her own way to do something that works just as well, but she always tries my suggestion first. Either way, it makes me proud.

 

[Spotlite]

2. What is the goal? Human Flourishing? Hedonism? There are certainly many "wrong" decisions that could subvert a goal.

True - people can take lemons and turn them into lemonade. A wrong decision was still made even though a positive path was found.

Wrong decisions cost…….time, money, extra effort, etc., but it still cost something.

 

[oldfella1962]

True - people can take lemons and turn them into lemonade. A wrong decision was still made even though a positive path was found.

Wrong decisions cost…….time, money, extra effort, etc., but it still cost something.

Yes wrong decisions cost - but statistically not every decision can be optimal no matter what we do, since there a lot of variables & moving parts in many important/complex situations.

 

[ambush80]

Yes wrong decisions cost - but statistically not every decision can be optimal no matter what we do, since there a lot of variables & moving parts in many important/complex situations.

Don't forget the occasional happy accident.

 

[oldfella1962]

Don't forget the occasional happy accident.

You know it. "Stranger things have happened" as they say.

 

[oldfella1962]

update! I'm adding a #8 to the list: nearly EVERYTHING we experience/witness can be a "teachable moment" - but we generally don't realize it at the time. Thus, I am trying to always be a "learning" mindset at all times, or the full effect of the teachable moment may be delayed or even missed completely.

 

[SemperFiDawg]

as always, take everything I say with a grain of salt.

After reading I'm not sure if that's massively overvaluing it based on sincerity or massively undervaluing it based on comedy.

 

[oldfella1962]

After reading I'm not sure if that's massively overvaluing it based on sincerity or massively undervaluing it based on comedy.

Hmmm..........I guess that's a fair assessment.