What do you tell a teen that wants to quit football when he has potential??

[Shadow11]

I'm kind of befunkled here. Advice needed because I don't know what else to do or say to this kid. I'm worried to say the least.


My nephew, sophomore in highschool, has always had this dream of playing football at uga. He has worked his b-hind off.

He's lifting more weight than anyone his size. He's faster than anyone else. He has amazing hands and agility. He was one of four guys that lettered as a freshman...​

...Now, he has decided he wants to completely quit. He's already turned in his equipment. I think the coach will let him come back if he's willing.


I don't know what to tell him. He won't talk about it to me. I know he has issues with a black dude that beat up his friend last year, and he's competing for the same position, but I still don't really know what's going on. His parents have problems too, which might be a part of it as well. Drugs might be involved, or maybe he decided to be queer. No idea.


This is his most important yr of his life if he still wants football, which I'm sure he does.


What can I tell him so that he won't regret it later?


Advice please.


Thanks!

 

[4HAND]

Seems to me you're gonna need to know what the problem is or what has caused him to quit before you can give him sound advice.

 

[jrickman]

In these situations I'm always inclined to ask if the kid was really enjoying playing or if he was playing out of a sense of obligation. A lot of families pressure kids in sports without even realizing they are.

 

[DOUG 281]

You can keep trying to talk with him but i would not get to hard on him but maybe you can get him out take him fishing or something and talk to him he may open up and tell you what's going on. Best of luck my friend

 

[Jester896]

something big turned him away..no doubt...I'd wait until he was ready to tell you what did. they aren't your choices and you should support him

i am going through something similar with one of my grands...he pitched JV as a freshman...he is JV now pitching Varsity....ready to throw in playing for school...still plays travel ball...my job is to support him and his decisions

 

[antharper]

I would do as Doug 281 said . Take him fishing , maybe a camping trip . Maybe a fishing/ camping trip in the mountains ?

 

[NE GA Pappy]

unless he or his parents have asked you to be involved in the situation, keep your nose out of it.

 

[Shadow11]

I would do as Doug 281 said . Take him fishing , maybe a camping trip . Maybe a fishing/ camping trip in the mountains ?

That's exactly what i tried yesterday. Everything was good to go Saturday night, but he didn't show up Sunday morning. Said his allergies were messed up. I just don't get it.

His entire life that's been his passion and dream. All of the sudden he wants to quit. The coach told my brother he will definitely be good enough for college. He said in his 20 plus years that he's never seen anyone that talented quit. My nephew said his hamstring is sore. The coach said that's fine, and he could just sit out, but still could hang around, learn the plays, stay on the team, etc.

My nephew said he might come back and play his senior year, but the coach said he won't get any playing time if he does that.

I know from experience that he'll regret it later in life. It's not a "family putting pressure on him" type of tthin like someone said. He had this dream for years, and he's giving up on it at the most important time.

 

[transfixer]

something big turned him away..no doubt...I'd wait until he was ready to tell you what did. they aren't your choices and you should support him

i am going through something similar with one of my grands...he pitched JV as a freshman...he is JV now pitching Varsity....ready to throw in playing for school...still plays travel ball...my job is to support him and his decisions

I whole heartedly agree with this ^^

unless he is willing to talk to you about why he wants to quit,, then all you can do is support his decision and be there for him if he wants to talk, teens that age will usually talk to someone who isn't putting pressure on them, before they will someone who is ,

Don't hound him about quitting, if he's making a mistake ? its his to make, if he's willing to talk about why he's quitting , and its something you can help him figure out ? then that's great ! otherwise , just back off and let him know you're there for him if he needs you .

 

[treemanjohn]

Children do things to please their parents. Sounds like he's ready to do things for himself.

 

[benellisbe]

I had a couple of buddies in high school that quit baseball. One was very talented and would likely have played D1 baseball. After a lot of years of travel ball, coaching sessions (hitting, pitching, etc.) I think they were just burned out with all of it. I try not to pressure my kids, but have always told them if you sign up you will finish the season.

Its a tough position to be in, for you, but I would give him space and let him open up to you. If you pester him, he will just push further away. Teens have so much to deal with between dating, rigors of high school, etc. I personally think Social Media is one of the worst things to let anyone under 21 utilize. There are so many different avenues and the keyboard tough guys would have made my school far worse when I was in high school. My 7th grader has friends with phones and social media accounts, the drama associated with social media is just insane. Social media, along with a general lack of knowledge amongst many adults, make it very difficult to monitor what is going on. I work in the IT industry and I can barely keep up with all the different platforms being utilized.

 

[JustUs4All]

If he is unwilling to share the problems with you, there is nothing you can tell him that will help anything.

 

[elfiii]

I'll give you the same advice my grandfather gave my parents which they promptly ignored - the harder you push him, the more he will resist.

There are reasons he doesn't want to play anymore and he's not willing to share those reasons for whatever reason. Just be a good uncle. Shut up about it, be quiet and wait to see if he wants to talk to you about it.

 

[brownceluse]

A couple things as several have already said. The pressure on him is intense and he’s still a kid no matter how much weight he’s lifting. Parents and other family tend to live the dream through these child athletes. My nephew was an outstanding baseball player and student. He was asked to skip grades etc. He was in every gifted program under the sun in school. Senior year he quit all sports! My brother was crushed! Travel ball his whole life! Everything! He flunked out of college his 2nd semester. Two years later he’s in the Army and thriving! That’s all he ever wanted was to be a soldier. My brother wanted him to be a baseball player! My son skipped his junior year of HS football. The coach called me and told me he didn’t have to practice and would play in the games he needed him that bad. Long story short I didn’t allow that. He played his senior year and was the starting center! No regrets. The pressure that family puts on these woods is ridiculous! Let the kid take a breath. I didn’t even force my kids to go to college! Both of my kids are doing great in the real world. If and when they do decide to further their education I’ll pay for it. Maybe then they’ll have a clear direction on what they really want to do instead of a worthless degree in a field they don’t work in. Then to only have a job that pays equal to what the guy beside them is making with a defray deal and a bunch of debt!

 

[mallardsx2]

I quit baseball cause it cut into my turkey hunting.

I didn’t have much potential in baseball anyhow because all of the coaches and assistant coaches kids got to play wherever they wanted , whenever they wanted. Lol

 

[specialk]

I'll give you the same advice my grandfather gave my parents which they promptly ignored - the harder you push him, the more he will resist.

There are reasons he doesn't want to play anymore and he's not willing to share those reasons for whatever reason. Just be a good uncle. Shut up about it, be quiet and wait to see if he wants to talk to you about it.

this, find out what his ''new'' interests are and encourage them.....

 

[Tight Lines]

Well this is a hard one. I have a niece who played all the way up to college and had softball scholarships to D1 schools like LSU and threw in the towel...it was her call...she wanted something different...

For him, he needs to find someone he believes in and trusts, and that can talk to him...

Watch "Remember the Titans" or "All American" with him...

You never get another chance to do it in high school...

I could have played in college, but really got off track my senior year and screwed up both baseball and football...

 

[Flash]

If you do talk, ask him to try and look forward to when he's 40/50 'what do you want to see when you look back' That should help him decide either way

 

[Russdaddy]

You lost me at "Black Dude" and Decided to be queer....Was the other athletes skin color important to the situation. Pretty big jump from if no football then maybe queer. I am no fan of the WOKE culture but no reason to give them any ammo.
If this type of tone is used when talking FB to him it might be why he shuts you down.

 

[ryanh487]

Something happened. Don't rule out sexual abuse or other highly sensitive and embarrassing situations that may have arisen in the environment, no matter how big and strong he is. The power environment of coaches/ trainers/etc puts them at an upper hand to psychologically groom and manipulate their victims. If you make derogatory comments about gays and he feels like he's been violated and is afraid of being accused of being gay, you're the last person he's going to talk to about it. If you can't be genuinely supportive and understanding to ANY and ALL reasons that may be impacting this situation then keep your mouth shut or you'll just make it worse.