19 year old and drugs

T.P. said:

I just spit tea all over my computer screen! I owe you for that one!






You ain't got older kids do you?

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i don't think everyone is inherently evil,and don't want to live in a police state of mind like most of ya'll do!!!

she is not a kid,she is a young adult doing something that is not permitted in that house,or in this state...

I have had more conversations like this with family members than I can tell you. I wish I could give you as magic answer but there ain't one. What works on one person will do the opposite on another.

Nobody on this forum knows her better than you. No matter what course you take make sure she knows that you still love and care about her. I hope one day you get back the girl you had before.

hummdaddy said:

i am glad you took the route you did...you didn't burn any bridges except intruding on her privacy,but you didn't make an enemy ....rehab will help her if she wants to quit...self medication has been none to help people that suffer from bi-polar,and adhd is a precursor to the condition....getting on the right meds can help her tremendously...

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Ive been hesitant to comment in this thread as I dont have children and that its really no ones business but the OP, except he made it public here.

I can say from reading it over the days, jumping on HummDaddy like some posters did was uncool. The OP should have expected all opinions when he made it public on a public/diverse forum. I dont think HummDaddy has posted anything in a malicious way.

That being said, if it is only cannabis, you should thank your lucky stars OP, it is illegal, but the safest substance she could be using. However, lack of appetite is not a side affect of using cannabis. Pray it isnt synthetic or spice, that is pure poison and I saw a kid on it one time, it is the scourge of substances along with meth that kids are crazy enough to use, ignorance.

I have a friend whos daughter started using alcohol, wine, and moved to liquor, hard whiskey, and has caused herself and her daddy all kinds of problems and torment to the point he said his child was a lost cause. He spent a fortune, tried to talk to her about it to no avail. She has finally started to clean up her drinking and got a job but still drinks. He cant stop her, she 22, an adult. Its been a bad scene many a times for my buddy. But she has to make a choice to control herself, not her dad, not the law, not a doctor.

Shes 19( your gdaughter), adult some say, but that gives her no rights to be doing what you dont allow in your home OP.
I hope things are resolved for both sides, as a teen I saw friends get lost in this mess by over zealous parents/guardians. But as one poster wrote, the worst thing to do is nothing. I hope your worries are resolved soon and final.

also, there is a reason people use substances. alcohol, cigarettes, cannabis, etc. It is mind/reality altering. Whats the old saying "drowned your sorrows"? So maybe there is a root issue to her trying/using it other than peer pressure, bad friends/rebelling.

I pray for you and your family.

To the OP, what's the latest. Hope and pray she is getting help and things are looking up for her and your family.

I'm a Bail Bondsman and see these things on a every day basis. I also had a long run with alcohol. I've been sober now for 13 plus years. No mater the substance a person uses the outcome will be the same in the end. Some things take the user to the bottom faster than others. Some people just need to hit rock bottom before they can begin to recover. Based on your description on the pipes and behavior, I bet the Meth Monster is loose. I hope Meth is not the drug she is one, as it is the most Evil and Vile substance on the face of the earth. If it is Meth you will have to take every measure you can to remove it from your house

I can only tell you what did not work in my situation, My stepdad had trouble with his daughter when I was around 10 yo, She started drinking in high school and was running with the wrong crowd although at that time I am sure its no diffrent from the crowds 90 % of us hung out with in high school. I say this because I did the same thing as far as drinking in highschool.

My parents tried to intervine as soon as they saw the drinking and they rode her hard all through highschool and as soon as she graduated she hit the road. Well the drinking never stopped and I am almost sure she was smoking weed when she left. AFter she left she was getting more involved in stronger and stronger drugs and my step dad went and got her out of jail more times than I can remember between the time she was 18 to 24 yo. The arrests during this time frame were for anything you can imagine, dui, theft, burglary you name it she did it.

He spent all kinds of money on fines and attorneys fees during this 6 year period and was a very broken soul at the end. One night around midnight they came into my room to tell me Jeri was gone. She had taken her life and now that I am grown and have seen others deal with this I am convinced if they would have totaly cut the strings when she left the house on her own and not bailed her out and got her out of trouble all those times she would have hit bottom sooner and realized she was on her own before she got into the mind altering drugs that she was into at the end.

Now having said this my kids are 15 and 12 now and if I can be that strong if they were to get involved in something like this remains to be seen. But I do know this having a sibling who did this kept me on the straight and narrow when it come to any kind of drugs. I drank sure but when the weed came out this old boy would get up and leave.

I just think you gotta let em stand on there own when they think there grown.