Toliver
Senior Member
Well, now I have a problem. The place is still a sham. But now I may have to name it Walkinsnake Hunting Club. This guy named Woody tricks unsuspecting victims into paying him money to walk around in a snake infested swamp for two days that is totally devoid of anything porcine. This is how it goes.........
Arrive Saturday morning to a warm welcome and pleasant weather. Pay hard earned money and sign a waiver. Now, I didn't read this thing so somewhere in there it probably has a disclaimer about there not being any pigs on the place. So, me and my guest head out. We arrive at a likely spot, or so we thought, and commence to walking. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. You get the idea right? So anyhow, we find fresh pig sign. Nevermind the fresh boot prints and cigarette butts. We just knew we were on a hot trail of pigs and would soon be hearing them squealing and telling each other they have pretty mouths. These sounds never came. But as we walked, I couldn't help but notice a Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin swimming in the water. I shot him. We moved on. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. You ain't near as tired of reading "And we walked" as we got of walking. So as we're walking, I couldnt help but notice a Diamond Headed Copper Micassin swimming in the water. Yes, you've now read that twice but I lived it twice so get over it. I shot him. We moved on. And again we're walking. We finally get back to point A after being around the alphabet more times than Elmo has sung it. We decide to split up and go sit for a couple of hours.
I go down the road and find me a place to say Yes ma'am to mother nature, eat lunch (a little farther down the creek) and sit until my butt in numb. Once numbness sets in, it ain't fun nomore. So I got up and walked. As I'm walking, I notice a large culvert. In this culvert is a rather impressive snapping turtle that is moving like he's on a mission from God. I do not know if he was wearing sunglasses, had a pack of cigarettes and had half a tank of gas, so don't ask. So I figure I'll catch him, take him back to camp and allow him to nourish the body at a later time. I started up the hill to get on top of the culvert to prepare my attack from above ambush on the turtle as he exited the culvert. Now, as you might expect from one skilled predator that is intently focused on his prey, he might not notice his total surroundings. So imagine my surprise when I DIDN'T happen to notice the Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin that was betwixt my feet. I did however take great notice once I heard that slithering from beneath. He went one way as I was finding less snaky ground to stand on. He apparently lives in this culvert and only come out to give the turtle full access as it passed through. So back in he goes. I commence to throwing stuff at him to make him go on out into the open water whereas I may commence to shooting at him. I would have shot him there but I'm not one to shoot into large metal cylanders that may shoot back. The first projectile I launch is an old, glass beer bottle that lying in the creek. He only turned and bit the bottle. Guess it wasn't his favorite brand. I throw some more stuff and soon he just disappears under some sticks. So I get me a long stick and start poking in there to get him out. Well, he goes BACK into the culvert. I did not see him exit the other end so I spend 10 minutes trying to figure out where he went. I finally gave up. So I start back the way I came and wouldn't you know it. Up on the bank, in a sunny spot, I couldn't help but notice another Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin lying there watching me with a very curious look upon his face. Confused, inquisitive snakes look just as mean as mad ones. You really can't tell the difference until you shoot them. So I shot him. And of course something landed on my shoulder and the first thing I thought was "OH LORD!!!!! I've shot his head off and it's landed on my shoulder!!!" It was just mud from the bank where the snake used to be. So anyway, it turned out, he wasn't mad. So I decide I'm going to walk over and check out the dearly departed snake. I take about three steps and couldn't help but notice a Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin in the water. This one was mad. It was the one I'd been poking at. It seems he had sent his smaller cousin in to check to see if I still had my back turned so they could gang up on me from the rear. I shot him. I moved on. So far, it's 10:30 a.m. and I have no pigs and 4 snake kills. I take the last two snakes back to camp just to prove to Woody that there are snakes on the place cause he said there were none.
We have a bite of lunch, (no not the snakes) and head back out. (There's a fishing expedition mixed into midday activities, too, but that was fairly uneventful and snakeless) We found a new spot to park, and we walked. A LOT. We had just gotten started good when I couldn't help but notice my buddy jump and yell something about big toes, pinkie toes, elmoes and some other words not fit for mixed company. At that point I was aware of the Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin lying on the ground a few feet in front of me. It went in a hole under a log. We moved on. It begins to thunder. Loud. Close. Frequently. We figure it'll blow over and keep walking. We decided to sit in a good spot. We were gonna split up a bit so I walked a little more. A doe, that had been hiding in a big cypress stump, jumped into the water and liked to have scared me to death. I was already nervous about alligators getting me. That didn't help matters much. Then it hit. The storm of the century. There were waves 40 feet high!! Our tiny ship got lost.......sorry different story. The wind was blowing 90 to nothing and lightning was hitting all around us. Them big ol' cypress trees were laying over and the torential rain was coming in horizontal. Then the wind started making that whistly sound and I was fairly certain it was Woody controlling the weather and not Bush and he was sending in a tornado just to make things interesting for us. The wind changed directions 270 degrees. Rotating wind does not impress me. So 15 minutes of beelzabubba's place go by, I'm drenched cause the parka had been blown up around my head, the storm ceases and the sun comes out. Now I'm hot, wet, lost, and pigless. Times are great, I'm hunting. We walked on. After finally succumbing to the woods and giving up on dead reckoning the way back to the 4 wheeler, we break out the GPS and follow it for the last half mile through the swamp.
We go back to camp, watch people bring in pigs that I'm sure came from the farm up the road, and then head out for a motel. Woody makes up for all he's put us through by making sure we get a discount at the Dew Drop Inn and Casino. Not a bad place. Went to bed around midnight. Woke up at 4:45 a.m. Went back to sleep. Woke up again at 5:30. Went back to sleep. Finally got going at the crack of 9a.m.
We went back over to the camp. There set Woody. We talked. He told the stories of how he can just go ride around and kill all the pigs he wants. So we figure we'd try that tactic. Just another Woody fabrication. The man can tell a story with a straight face and make you believe every word of it. I would not recommend playing poker against this man. I digress.
While out riding around seeing the scenery and enjoying not being in the middle of Hurricane Katrina Jr., we see more snakes. One is climbing down out of a ladder stand. I don't think he saw any pigs either as he looked mad. Or quizzical, I never knew for sure cause I didn't shoot it. It was a rat snake. Then we move on and in the rut of a mud hole was a turtle. In the rut next to him was a king snake. Nice accomodations for which I'm sure Woody charged them a hefty fee. Somebody needs to tell Woody to get more king snakes to eat the Diamond Headed Copper Mocassins so there's not so much lead in the creeks. We finally run out of gas and pushed the 4 wheeler back the 4.2 miles to camp.
MAN!!! I can't wait til the next hunt!!!
Arrive Saturday morning to a warm welcome and pleasant weather. Pay hard earned money and sign a waiver. Now, I didn't read this thing so somewhere in there it probably has a disclaimer about there not being any pigs on the place. So, me and my guest head out. We arrive at a likely spot, or so we thought, and commence to walking. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. You get the idea right? So anyhow, we find fresh pig sign. Nevermind the fresh boot prints and cigarette butts. We just knew we were on a hot trail of pigs and would soon be hearing them squealing and telling each other they have pretty mouths. These sounds never came. But as we walked, I couldn't help but notice a Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin swimming in the water. I shot him. We moved on. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. And we walked. You ain't near as tired of reading "And we walked" as we got of walking. So as we're walking, I couldnt help but notice a Diamond Headed Copper Micassin swimming in the water. Yes, you've now read that twice but I lived it twice so get over it. I shot him. We moved on. And again we're walking. We finally get back to point A after being around the alphabet more times than Elmo has sung it. We decide to split up and go sit for a couple of hours.
I go down the road and find me a place to say Yes ma'am to mother nature, eat lunch (a little farther down the creek) and sit until my butt in numb. Once numbness sets in, it ain't fun nomore. So I got up and walked. As I'm walking, I notice a large culvert. In this culvert is a rather impressive snapping turtle that is moving like he's on a mission from God. I do not know if he was wearing sunglasses, had a pack of cigarettes and had half a tank of gas, so don't ask. So I figure I'll catch him, take him back to camp and allow him to nourish the body at a later time. I started up the hill to get on top of the culvert to prepare my attack from above ambush on the turtle as he exited the culvert. Now, as you might expect from one skilled predator that is intently focused on his prey, he might not notice his total surroundings. So imagine my surprise when I DIDN'T happen to notice the Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin that was betwixt my feet. I did however take great notice once I heard that slithering from beneath. He went one way as I was finding less snaky ground to stand on. He apparently lives in this culvert and only come out to give the turtle full access as it passed through. So back in he goes. I commence to throwing stuff at him to make him go on out into the open water whereas I may commence to shooting at him. I would have shot him there but I'm not one to shoot into large metal cylanders that may shoot back. The first projectile I launch is an old, glass beer bottle that lying in the creek. He only turned and bit the bottle. Guess it wasn't his favorite brand. I throw some more stuff and soon he just disappears under some sticks. So I get me a long stick and start poking in there to get him out. Well, he goes BACK into the culvert. I did not see him exit the other end so I spend 10 minutes trying to figure out where he went. I finally gave up. So I start back the way I came and wouldn't you know it. Up on the bank, in a sunny spot, I couldn't help but notice another Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin lying there watching me with a very curious look upon his face. Confused, inquisitive snakes look just as mean as mad ones. You really can't tell the difference until you shoot them. So I shot him. And of course something landed on my shoulder and the first thing I thought was "OH LORD!!!!! I've shot his head off and it's landed on my shoulder!!!" It was just mud from the bank where the snake used to be. So anyway, it turned out, he wasn't mad. So I decide I'm going to walk over and check out the dearly departed snake. I take about three steps and couldn't help but notice a Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin in the water. This one was mad. It was the one I'd been poking at. It seems he had sent his smaller cousin in to check to see if I still had my back turned so they could gang up on me from the rear. I shot him. I moved on. So far, it's 10:30 a.m. and I have no pigs and 4 snake kills. I take the last two snakes back to camp just to prove to Woody that there are snakes on the place cause he said there were none.
We have a bite of lunch, (no not the snakes) and head back out. (There's a fishing expedition mixed into midday activities, too, but that was fairly uneventful and snakeless) We found a new spot to park, and we walked. A LOT. We had just gotten started good when I couldn't help but notice my buddy jump and yell something about big toes, pinkie toes, elmoes and some other words not fit for mixed company. At that point I was aware of the Diamond Headed Copper Mocassin lying on the ground a few feet in front of me. It went in a hole under a log. We moved on. It begins to thunder. Loud. Close. Frequently. We figure it'll blow over and keep walking. We decided to sit in a good spot. We were gonna split up a bit so I walked a little more. A doe, that had been hiding in a big cypress stump, jumped into the water and liked to have scared me to death. I was already nervous about alligators getting me. That didn't help matters much. Then it hit. The storm of the century. There were waves 40 feet high!! Our tiny ship got lost.......sorry different story. The wind was blowing 90 to nothing and lightning was hitting all around us. Them big ol' cypress trees were laying over and the torential rain was coming in horizontal. Then the wind started making that whistly sound and I was fairly certain it was Woody controlling the weather and not Bush and he was sending in a tornado just to make things interesting for us. The wind changed directions 270 degrees. Rotating wind does not impress me. So 15 minutes of beelzabubba's place go by, I'm drenched cause the parka had been blown up around my head, the storm ceases and the sun comes out. Now I'm hot, wet, lost, and pigless. Times are great, I'm hunting. We walked on. After finally succumbing to the woods and giving up on dead reckoning the way back to the 4 wheeler, we break out the GPS and follow it for the last half mile through the swamp.
We go back to camp, watch people bring in pigs that I'm sure came from the farm up the road, and then head out for a motel. Woody makes up for all he's put us through by making sure we get a discount at the Dew Drop Inn and Casino. Not a bad place. Went to bed around midnight. Woke up at 4:45 a.m. Went back to sleep. Woke up again at 5:30. Went back to sleep. Finally got going at the crack of 9a.m.
We went back over to the camp. There set Woody. We talked. He told the stories of how he can just go ride around and kill all the pigs he wants. So we figure we'd try that tactic. Just another Woody fabrication. The man can tell a story with a straight face and make you believe every word of it. I would not recommend playing poker against this man. I digress.
While out riding around seeing the scenery and enjoying not being in the middle of Hurricane Katrina Jr., we see more snakes. One is climbing down out of a ladder stand. I don't think he saw any pigs either as he looked mad. Or quizzical, I never knew for sure cause I didn't shoot it. It was a rat snake. Then we move on and in the rut of a mud hole was a turtle. In the rut next to him was a king snake. Nice accomodations for which I'm sure Woody charged them a hefty fee. Somebody needs to tell Woody to get more king snakes to eat the Diamond Headed Copper Mocassins so there's not so much lead in the creeks. We finally run out of gas and pushed the 4 wheeler back the 4.2 miles to camp.
MAN!!! I can't wait til the next hunt!!!
