Divorce Question

[basshappy]

@Mattval 1) Hire a competent and experienced attorney, ideally one known and liked in your family court.

2) Listen to your attorney, you are paying for that time, advice and experience.

3) if you read something that strikes a chord online or in a forum, ask your retained attorney if it applies to you.

4) Any action you take seriously consider running it by your attorney first. Be it moving some of your keep sakes, belongings, etc. out of the marital home, removing yourself from a joint bank account, etc. What seems innocent may be construed in family court as something vindictive or spiteful etc.

5) Keep cool, always be calm, keep good communication with your children and make certain you stress this priority with your attorney.
6) Almost anything potentially is discoverable- phones, email accounts, computers, cameras, etc. So be smart with actions. And if you have anything that could be a potential issue, co sidereal speaking with your attorney on how to handle that as soon as possible.

 

[killerv]

Just hope Liberty doesn't give her the combo to your safe.

 

[Darien1]

I guess I was lucky. My ex and I pretty much agreed on our divorce. We stayed amicable, I gave her the house, her car and didn't mess with her money. I took my truck and personal stuff and moved into my lake house. We even used the same lawyer. It was cheaper all around for both of us.

 

[HD28]

That is not the norm.

 

[Ruger#3]

Let’s remember where this thread is folks.

 

[huntfish]

She can (and others have been known to) empty the Savings and other accounts post haste.

Yep, and that includes paying for PI and her attorneys too.

 

[Howard Roark]

never been divorced, in fact my spouse and I pledged to each other to never say the word.

Just had a friend go through a nasty expensive divorce. She said she wanted half of everything. He said how much is that. She said my lawyer will tell you.

Almost $500,000 later the lawyer for her said let’s go into arbitration. She got 1/2 minus $500k in lawyers fees. The offspring lost $500,000.

Always remember, the goal of both lawyers in a case is to make sure both lawyers get paid.

 

[Mattval]

Okay so we are going to see a judge sometime. I do not have a date yet. What can I expect? Is this going to be like a trial? Will I get put on the witness stand? From what I understand the judge will decide everything. But I do not know how the process works.

 

[Mattval]

Re: House value: You're entitled 1/2 the estate per GA law. There are a bunch of ways that can play out though. Sell it? She can sabotage the sale (my XW did this). She can buy out your half and refi - and imagine how long she can drag that out with various manuevers, black mails, etc. It would be smart to try to set yourself up as much as you can to not need the money immediately. I get you need it for the lawyer though. Tough spot to be in.

Re: Stealing the silver: If you have purchase receipts, scan them, keep them safe somewhere, etc. Depending on the value, if she won't produce the silver it can be offset with the house value as well.

Re: Arbitration: Sounds like it's mediation instead? Is there anything agreed to so far? Is there a signed piece of paper from a mediator saying mediation was done and not successful? In my case, that's all we needed to go to the judge was to show we tried and made a good faith meditation effort before going to trial. It's variable though depending judge/court rules/etc.

Re: Accounts - I was able to go close all joint credit and bank accounts. Some banks might not go along with it, though. I did not reveal the divorce. I just told them I was closing XYZ accounts and transferring the $$$ to ABC accounts. I made sure I paid off credit card balances and was closing $0 balance accounts. And I just did it. She had her own accounts, I wasn't depriving her of anything when I did it. In my case, I also had records that showed she overspent $10k, and pilfered a bunch more, to the judge when her lawyer complained about it. I told the judge I'd filed, we were legally separated, XW was escalating her actions and getting worse, so I was protecting myself from future harm. Showed the statements, etc. Her lawyer dropped it and didn't bring it up again. I didn't even ask my lawyer ahead of time, my lawyer did express some reservation, but in the end it worked out okay for me. I realize it might not always for everyone. I figured I was better off with the judge ordering some kind of unbalanced distribution than XW being allowed to destroy it all. Worse that could happen was not as bad as not acting. I'll admit it was nerve wracking though. Not an easy decision and stressful to carry that in my head until the trial.

With a high conflict situation, sometimes multiple rounds of mediation, the delays the other party can throw in, it just ends up costing more than going to the judge and asking for a judgement. Not to mention the time with your life spent in limbo land dragging on so bad. My divorce took 2 years, for example. It sucked.

What's your lawyer say about all this? I would say "trust and listen to your lawyer" but I've seen too many cases where that just resulted in said person getting screwed because the lawyer did a really bad job. These days I fully support people going through it to find 2nd opinions of their lawyer's advise/actions. The lawyer doesn't have to live with a bad outcome and they still get paid. So they can do a bad job, get you screwed, and still be demanding a big chunk of money from you in the aftermath. You have to live with the outcome, so it's responsible and reasonable for you to ask for other's opinions and outside input. A bad judgement can ruin your life for many, many years which has a trickle down impact to your kids too. Just be very careful of where you get outside input and what kind of stock you put into said input.

Thank you for your thoughtful advice!

 

[chase870]

People who complain about what it cost to get a divorce aren't ready to do it. I would have gave my X more just to be away from her

 

[feathersnantlers]

What's the latest on the court date?

 

[dwhee87]

I would have gave my X more just to be away from her

I did.

 

[JustUs4All]

I still am. LOL

 

[LTZ25]

People who complain about what it cost to get a divorce aren't ready to do it. I would have gave my X more just to be away from her

That makes sense .