StriperAddict
Senior Member
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth,
But only that which is helpful for building up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
The Power of Encouragement
At the church where I first served as a pastor, I met a very unkind man we’ll call Joe. He was disheveled in appearance, extremely overweight, and a chain smoker. He was arrogant and loud, opinionated, and rude. If you got too close to him, he wouldn’t hesitate to blow smoke in your face, not only from his cigarette, but also from the negative and sarcastic words that flowed all too easily from his lips. I sought to engage him, but quickly ended the conversation and moved on to greener pastures, searching for people who had some semblance of kindness and courtesy.
Over the weeks and months, I observed him each Sunday conducting his search and destroy mission on the various unsuspecting people who sought to converse with him. They would extend a hand and seek to establish eye contact, but their hand was rejected, and their eyes left peering into empty space. Their attempts to pass the normal pleasantries of a Sunday morning were quickly deflected, providing nothing more than an opportunity for him to voice his disapproval of whatever the topic of conversation they were presenting.
Those who knew better, who had previously encountered his brutish behavior, simply kept their distance and made sure their eyes did not meet those of this miserable man. There was not an ounce of judgement in my heart for those people, for I too made every effort to avoid him. It would be difficult to teach the Bible on a Sunday morning with the raging indigestion that was sure to come from a harsh and unnerving encounter with him.
The sound system of this particular church building was connected to speakers in the foyer, and the back wall was made of glass so people could see and hear the events going on in the auditorium. This was a wonderful thing for parents who had disruptive children, and those who had to excuse themselves for some reason or another. The foyer however, became this angry bear’s personal habitat.
As the months of my tenure there went by, not once did Joe enter the auditorium. He would pace back and forth in the foyer, glance in periodically, and then head outside to smoke a cigarette before returning to what had become his den. My heart was burdened for his wife, a kind and gentle spirit, and for his young children who had to share a home with him.
When I asked the elders how I might reach out to him, I was told that he was a lost cause, that for years they had tried to minister to him, but to no avail. They told me that he had been seriously injured on the job, and had won a huge insurance settlement for his permanent injuries. Though his family was very well provided for financially, the cost to him personally was horrific. I learned that even though he was heavily medicated, he lived in constant pain. Over the years, he had become an angry, bitter man, and these dear men advised me there was nothing I could do.
One day, there was a knock on my office door, and it was Joe. I invited him in to sit down. He said thank you, but because of his being injured on the job, he wasn’t able to sit comfortably in a chair. I mustered up all the love and compassion I could, told him how sorry I was to hear that, and asked him how I might help him. He completely disregarded my question, and began to pass the pleasantries with me that he so tenaciously avoided on a Sunday morning. He asked about my bride and children, and how I was doing personally. He questioned if I was happy at the church, and even thanked me for my ministry. We were having a normal and enjoyable conversation when he abruptly changed the tenor and direction of our meeting.
I was quite taken back when he informed me that he was thinking of going to seminary, and wanted my opinion. By the grace of God my jaw didn’t drop, my eyes did not bulge, nor did a chuckle escape from my lips. The Holy Spirit was obviously leading in my heart and mind as I took a deep breath and told him, “Well Joe, that’s exciting. I’ve got some brochures in my desk from various seminaries in our area. Why don’t you take them with you, look them over and pray about which one might be the best fit for you.” He offered an abrupt thank you, took the brochures, and reached out to shake hands with me.
He didn’t come back to my office, nor did he call with any questions. But over the next several months, Joe transformed before my eyes, and the eyes of an amazed congregation. He quit smoking, lost weight, and began engaging people on Sunday mornings. And then it happened! He left the safety of his foyer, joined the church family in the auditorium, and started wearing a tie! After a few months, he signed up to be an usher, extending a handshake and smile to the saints as they assembled to praise.
His wife however, stopped by my office one day to make a short request, “I don’t know what you’re doing to my husband, but whatever it is please keep doing it.” I told her that all I did was give him some brochures. She responded that I must’ve said or done something to touch his heart, because he’d not been the same man since our meeting. As she headed out the door, I was encouraged, but perplexed. I really hadn’t done much of anything, or so I thought.
A few months later, Joe knocked on my door, and asked if I had a minute, adding that he didn’t want to take too much of my time. I invited him in, and this time, he sat down. Tears welled up in his eyes as he shared with me that he’d previously asked several pastors what they thought about him going to seminary. The tears began to fall down his cheeks as he added that every one of those pastors had laughed at him. As he gathered his composure, he shared these poignant and powerful words, “I don’t know if I’ll ever go to seminary, but I wanted to thank you for believing in me, and especially for not laughing at me.”
Tears welled up in my eyes too. Tears of sorrow for how this saint of God had been treated. Not only for the lack of compassion those shepherds failed to give him, but also for the ridicule and shame they had heaped upon him. In all honesty, my tears were mixed with much thanksgiving for the supernatural restraint the Holy Spirit had extended to me. By His leading and grace, he had kept me from being condescending as well. I learned a valuable lesson that day about the power of encouragement, and the dynamic power of the tongue to minister life or death in any given circumstance (Proverbs 18:21). It’s the wise man and woman who thinks before they speak, weighing not only the choice of their words, but the effect those words are going to have on the hearer (Proverbs 15:28).
In a very unkind world that’s oppressed by the darkness of sin and selfishness, our kind and encouraging words can have a dramatic and powerful effect on the lives of others, as I witnessed first-hand with Joe. There is a desperate need for us who know the Lord Jesus as our Savior and Life, to magnify the kindness and love of God through the spoken word. Sociologists tell us that it takes anywhere from 6 to 20 positive comments to counteract the effect of one negative one. Couple their insight with the fact that we encounter multiple negative comments in any given day, and I trust you see that the need for encouragement is astronomical. I hope you’ve also come to the realization that expressing kindness in our words is not an obstacle for us, but a huge opportunity.
As I write this, I can’t help but think of one of the heroes of our faith, recorded in the book of Acts, a man named Joseph. I’m not talking about the prince of Egypt whose story is found in the Old Testament, but the Joseph who played a major role in the New Testament. This amazing man was so full of kindness, such an encourager to those who crossed his path, that the early church changed his name. You might not recognize him by his real name – Joseph – but I believe you’ll instantly recognize him by his reputation. The church called him, Barnabas, which means son of encouragement.
Dear ones, that’s not only a beautiful and uplifting historical reality, it’s also a present-day encouragement for us to live as he lived. After all, we share the same Holy Spirit that he had, and the Spirit wants to express His life through us, just like He did with Barnabas. A life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All it takes is a small flicker of light to dispel the darkness in the life of another, a kind and gentle word that will encourage them in their faith journey.
So, what about you? Are you ready to express the life of the Spirit, and become such an encourager that the church has to change your name? I hope so. The opportunities abound if we would only open our eyes to see the need, and speak the words that so many long to hear. Let there be kindness in our eyes, gentleness in our hearts, and life on our lips. The world desperately needs these things, and we have them to give.
-------
From a recent FB post by Frank Friedmann
But only that which is helpful for building up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
The Power of Encouragement
At the church where I first served as a pastor, I met a very unkind man we’ll call Joe. He was disheveled in appearance, extremely overweight, and a chain smoker. He was arrogant and loud, opinionated, and rude. If you got too close to him, he wouldn’t hesitate to blow smoke in your face, not only from his cigarette, but also from the negative and sarcastic words that flowed all too easily from his lips. I sought to engage him, but quickly ended the conversation and moved on to greener pastures, searching for people who had some semblance of kindness and courtesy.
Over the weeks and months, I observed him each Sunday conducting his search and destroy mission on the various unsuspecting people who sought to converse with him. They would extend a hand and seek to establish eye contact, but their hand was rejected, and their eyes left peering into empty space. Their attempts to pass the normal pleasantries of a Sunday morning were quickly deflected, providing nothing more than an opportunity for him to voice his disapproval of whatever the topic of conversation they were presenting.
Those who knew better, who had previously encountered his brutish behavior, simply kept their distance and made sure their eyes did not meet those of this miserable man. There was not an ounce of judgement in my heart for those people, for I too made every effort to avoid him. It would be difficult to teach the Bible on a Sunday morning with the raging indigestion that was sure to come from a harsh and unnerving encounter with him.
The sound system of this particular church building was connected to speakers in the foyer, and the back wall was made of glass so people could see and hear the events going on in the auditorium. This was a wonderful thing for parents who had disruptive children, and those who had to excuse themselves for some reason or another. The foyer however, became this angry bear’s personal habitat.
As the months of my tenure there went by, not once did Joe enter the auditorium. He would pace back and forth in the foyer, glance in periodically, and then head outside to smoke a cigarette before returning to what had become his den. My heart was burdened for his wife, a kind and gentle spirit, and for his young children who had to share a home with him.
When I asked the elders how I might reach out to him, I was told that he was a lost cause, that for years they had tried to minister to him, but to no avail. They told me that he had been seriously injured on the job, and had won a huge insurance settlement for his permanent injuries. Though his family was very well provided for financially, the cost to him personally was horrific. I learned that even though he was heavily medicated, he lived in constant pain. Over the years, he had become an angry, bitter man, and these dear men advised me there was nothing I could do.
One day, there was a knock on my office door, and it was Joe. I invited him in to sit down. He said thank you, but because of his being injured on the job, he wasn’t able to sit comfortably in a chair. I mustered up all the love and compassion I could, told him how sorry I was to hear that, and asked him how I might help him. He completely disregarded my question, and began to pass the pleasantries with me that he so tenaciously avoided on a Sunday morning. He asked about my bride and children, and how I was doing personally. He questioned if I was happy at the church, and even thanked me for my ministry. We were having a normal and enjoyable conversation when he abruptly changed the tenor and direction of our meeting.
I was quite taken back when he informed me that he was thinking of going to seminary, and wanted my opinion. By the grace of God my jaw didn’t drop, my eyes did not bulge, nor did a chuckle escape from my lips. The Holy Spirit was obviously leading in my heart and mind as I took a deep breath and told him, “Well Joe, that’s exciting. I’ve got some brochures in my desk from various seminaries in our area. Why don’t you take them with you, look them over and pray about which one might be the best fit for you.” He offered an abrupt thank you, took the brochures, and reached out to shake hands with me.
He didn’t come back to my office, nor did he call with any questions. But over the next several months, Joe transformed before my eyes, and the eyes of an amazed congregation. He quit smoking, lost weight, and began engaging people on Sunday mornings. And then it happened! He left the safety of his foyer, joined the church family in the auditorium, and started wearing a tie! After a few months, he signed up to be an usher, extending a handshake and smile to the saints as they assembled to praise.
His wife however, stopped by my office one day to make a short request, “I don’t know what you’re doing to my husband, but whatever it is please keep doing it.” I told her that all I did was give him some brochures. She responded that I must’ve said or done something to touch his heart, because he’d not been the same man since our meeting. As she headed out the door, I was encouraged, but perplexed. I really hadn’t done much of anything, or so I thought.
A few months later, Joe knocked on my door, and asked if I had a minute, adding that he didn’t want to take too much of my time. I invited him in, and this time, he sat down. Tears welled up in his eyes as he shared with me that he’d previously asked several pastors what they thought about him going to seminary. The tears began to fall down his cheeks as he added that every one of those pastors had laughed at him. As he gathered his composure, he shared these poignant and powerful words, “I don’t know if I’ll ever go to seminary, but I wanted to thank you for believing in me, and especially for not laughing at me.”
Tears welled up in my eyes too. Tears of sorrow for how this saint of God had been treated. Not only for the lack of compassion those shepherds failed to give him, but also for the ridicule and shame they had heaped upon him. In all honesty, my tears were mixed with much thanksgiving for the supernatural restraint the Holy Spirit had extended to me. By His leading and grace, he had kept me from being condescending as well. I learned a valuable lesson that day about the power of encouragement, and the dynamic power of the tongue to minister life or death in any given circumstance (Proverbs 18:21). It’s the wise man and woman who thinks before they speak, weighing not only the choice of their words, but the effect those words are going to have on the hearer (Proverbs 15:28).
In a very unkind world that’s oppressed by the darkness of sin and selfishness, our kind and encouraging words can have a dramatic and powerful effect on the lives of others, as I witnessed first-hand with Joe. There is a desperate need for us who know the Lord Jesus as our Savior and Life, to magnify the kindness and love of God through the spoken word. Sociologists tell us that it takes anywhere from 6 to 20 positive comments to counteract the effect of one negative one. Couple their insight with the fact that we encounter multiple negative comments in any given day, and I trust you see that the need for encouragement is astronomical. I hope you’ve also come to the realization that expressing kindness in our words is not an obstacle for us, but a huge opportunity.
As I write this, I can’t help but think of one of the heroes of our faith, recorded in the book of Acts, a man named Joseph. I’m not talking about the prince of Egypt whose story is found in the Old Testament, but the Joseph who played a major role in the New Testament. This amazing man was so full of kindness, such an encourager to those who crossed his path, that the early church changed his name. You might not recognize him by his real name – Joseph – but I believe you’ll instantly recognize him by his reputation. The church called him, Barnabas, which means son of encouragement.
Dear ones, that’s not only a beautiful and uplifting historical reality, it’s also a present-day encouragement for us to live as he lived. After all, we share the same Holy Spirit that he had, and the Spirit wants to express His life through us, just like He did with Barnabas. A life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All it takes is a small flicker of light to dispel the darkness in the life of another, a kind and gentle word that will encourage them in their faith journey.
So, what about you? Are you ready to express the life of the Spirit, and become such an encourager that the church has to change your name? I hope so. The opportunities abound if we would only open our eyes to see the need, and speak the words that so many long to hear. Let there be kindness in our eyes, gentleness in our hearts, and life on our lips. The world desperately needs these things, and we have them to give.
-------
From a recent FB post by Frank Friedmann
