The Never to be Completed Compilation of Dad Jokes

[Lukikus2]

If you unscrew your belly button your legs will fall off.

 

[Liberty]

View attachment 1275193

I am absolutely going to tell that joke several times!

 

[1eyefishing]

What tool do you use to cut the ocean in half?

A seesaw.

 

[slow motion]

What is the difference between a hippo and a zippy?


One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

 

[Whitefeather]

I woke up last night and thought I saw the ghost of Gloria Gatnor standing at the foot of my bed.


At first I was afraid, I was petrified

 

[1eyefishing]

Which side of a parrot has the most feathers?
.
.
.
The OUTside.

 

[Whitefeather]

If Dusty Rhodes knocks on your door, you’d better let him in..

He means busineth.

 

[Geffellz18]

What do you call a cow with no legs….


Ground Beef!

 

[Geffellz18]

If you throw cold water on a hot dog, does it become a chili dog?

 

[bilgerat]

What do you call a cow that just gave birth??
Decalfanated

 

[4HAND]

I never knew cottage cheese really isn't cheese.
It just "occurred" to me...............

 

[1eyefishing]

OMG I just found out albert einstein was a real person.
.
.
.
I always thought he was a THEORETICAL physicist.

 

[Geffellz18]

 

[specialk]

 

[1eyefishing]

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself.
.
.
.
Because it was two tired.

 

[Toliver]

 

[Toliver]

 

[1eyefishing]

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

 

[georgiadawgs44]

 

[TJay]

Anybody want to hear a construction joke?
I'm still working on it.