Dub
Senior Member
#17 seems highly relevant these days......
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper that’s the time to do it.
4. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
5. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
8. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
9. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
10. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
11. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
12. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
13. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
15. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
16. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
17. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
18. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will spend the grocery money on graphite rods and buzzbaits.
19. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
20. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
21. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
23. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
24. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
25. Don't squat with your spurs on.
26. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
27. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
28. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
29. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
30. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
31. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
32. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
33. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper that’s the time to do it.
4. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
5. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
8. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
9. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
10. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
11. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
12. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
13. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
15. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
16. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
17. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
18. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will spend the grocery money on graphite rods and buzzbaits.
19. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
20. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
21. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
23. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
24. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
25. Don't squat with your spurs on.
26. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
27. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
28. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
29. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
30. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
31. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
32. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
33. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
