Israel
BANNED
I'd...
How often has this been said? Heard? Thought?
"If I were him I'd"... or "If I were you I'd..." as though a man can insert himself into the being of another with his own understanding of himself retained...and yet...be that "other".
And we might admit (do I think rightly?) that in the saying or thinking of such absurdity it is from a superior of self position generally...bringing "our better" to a soul we perceive in need of our "better".
If I were you I wouldn't...
If I were you I would...
Not seeing. If I were you...I'd be you...and everything you are; while at the same time...If I were you...I'd still be "all" of me.
Oh, how ridiculous a man I am! To even think I might speak this way. Or, about this.
But, what other lesson might the most presumptuous man of men have to learn? Especially in matter of identity, and the integrity of it? What must be learned, if there is to be anything even remotely perceived of this thing we call "relationship"...except that there must be some clearest or clearing of perception that there is a "one" and there is another? Might one even begin, if "one" is given to speak, say..."There can be no relationship, truly, at all, till identity is clearly established and the integrity therein respected"? Am I a mad man to consider this?
What an untangling must be done! And must be if this thing called relationship is to be "right". (Do I think my thoughts right? Can I? Even if or when they show me...wrong? Does that make me..."thinking right"?)
Am I a mad man?
My learning of this is mine and all of foolery to think (is this thinking right?) "If I were you, I'd listen..."
But. I have a wife. And despite what I may think I know of many of yours others "having" it would be so very presumptuous to assume you "have" yours as I have mine.
But in the having of mine, this is what I am learning...
And I might ask as I no less confess "Do explosions have some power to get your attention...as they yet are able to get mine?"
I step on mines when I (Oh, I might claim "inadvertently" to excuse myself!) cross some line of inserting my approval (or disapproval) of a thing by word, deed, or some process that a lack of respect of the integrity of my wife's identity is made clear...
I so often am dealing only with the wife of my own imagination...until...BOOM! the real person is compelled to appear...provoked by my presumptions. (Or is that merely presumption? Wasn't the "real person" always there...not needing my presumptions for any defining...but simply willing for whatever time to "suffer them" until...?)
The claim of inadvertently (innocently?) "crossing the line" is a false comfort, false meaning lie. I talk a good game about having and being glad to have a "woman of God" but...do explosions have the power to get your attention as they do yet mine?
One who will only remain in some silence...until...
(And I never know nor am told if or when that might be!)
But...is that her fault...or mine?
Suffering a blindness, bearing a blindness, enduring a blindness of mine until..."things are set aright before my eyes?"
Now...just because to me it appears explosive as though something has lost the ability to any longer "contain itself"...does not mean it has....only that to me it feels that way...this thing I so forcefully drew my lines upon for defining in my imagination, is merely shrugging, being itself...but suddenly to me...BOOM! Wow! There's a person there...that is not me! Nor of my fashioning! Nor of my imaginations of them. Nor subject to my control. (As they have just made clear!)
Yet, I cannot deny, Jesus told me.
“If any man come to Me and hate not his father and mother, and wife and children, and brethren and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple."
How many explanations of this we have heard! "Hate...? ...Jesus? C'mon now, that's just not a word we can easily associate with you especially in regards to "people". Hate sin? Oh, yes, Jesus, yes! Hate...the world..."Oh yes Jesus, yes...lemme show you!"...But...c'mon...father, mother, wife children...you must mean something like "love less"...right?
All of "my own" that constitutes the thing I would call "my life" is just a vain imagination, things I have drawn (in better and worse) to support my own life. To justify my having and keeping it...this life of "my own". If and when it suited me to justify why I am the way I am (to myself) I drew.
What would be the right word for a vain imagination of life...except death?
"If I were you, I'd..."
If I were God, I'd...
And a thing inherited all the vain imaginations of one who thought he could know what it would be like. And tried it.
Tested it...and his hand at it.
Then the appearing of the One who never let go of "the Father is greater than I", not ever denying His relationship to Him.
BOOM.
Hey! Why you gotta be that way?
I'm not...I'm just being me. It just feels that way to you and must...so you can know you are not alone. It's not good for you.
But, I am.
(The good for you)
And because I am, you are.
How often has this been said? Heard? Thought?
"If I were him I'd"... or "If I were you I'd..." as though a man can insert himself into the being of another with his own understanding of himself retained...and yet...be that "other".
And we might admit (do I think rightly?) that in the saying or thinking of such absurdity it is from a superior of self position generally...bringing "our better" to a soul we perceive in need of our "better".
If I were you I wouldn't...
If I were you I would...
Not seeing. If I were you...I'd be you...and everything you are; while at the same time...If I were you...I'd still be "all" of me.
Oh, how ridiculous a man I am! To even think I might speak this way. Or, about this.
But, what other lesson might the most presumptuous man of men have to learn? Especially in matter of identity, and the integrity of it? What must be learned, if there is to be anything even remotely perceived of this thing we call "relationship"...except that there must be some clearest or clearing of perception that there is a "one" and there is another? Might one even begin, if "one" is given to speak, say..."There can be no relationship, truly, at all, till identity is clearly established and the integrity therein respected"? Am I a mad man to consider this?
What an untangling must be done! And must be if this thing called relationship is to be "right". (Do I think my thoughts right? Can I? Even if or when they show me...wrong? Does that make me..."thinking right"?)
Am I a mad man?
My learning of this is mine and all of foolery to think (is this thinking right?) "If I were you, I'd listen..."
But. I have a wife. And despite what I may think I know of many of yours others "having" it would be so very presumptuous to assume you "have" yours as I have mine.
But in the having of mine, this is what I am learning...
And I might ask as I no less confess "Do explosions have some power to get your attention...as they yet are able to get mine?"
I step on mines when I (Oh, I might claim "inadvertently" to excuse myself!) cross some line of inserting my approval (or disapproval) of a thing by word, deed, or some process that a lack of respect of the integrity of my wife's identity is made clear...
I so often am dealing only with the wife of my own imagination...until...BOOM! the real person is compelled to appear...provoked by my presumptions. (Or is that merely presumption? Wasn't the "real person" always there...not needing my presumptions for any defining...but simply willing for whatever time to "suffer them" until...?)
The claim of inadvertently (innocently?) "crossing the line" is a false comfort, false meaning lie. I talk a good game about having and being glad to have a "woman of God" but...do explosions have the power to get your attention as they do yet mine?
One who will only remain in some silence...until...
(And I never know nor am told if or when that might be!)
But...is that her fault...or mine?
Suffering a blindness, bearing a blindness, enduring a blindness of mine until..."things are set aright before my eyes?"
Now...just because to me it appears explosive as though something has lost the ability to any longer "contain itself"...does not mean it has....only that to me it feels that way...this thing I so forcefully drew my lines upon for defining in my imagination, is merely shrugging, being itself...but suddenly to me...BOOM! Wow! There's a person there...that is not me! Nor of my fashioning! Nor of my imaginations of them. Nor subject to my control. (As they have just made clear!)
Yet, I cannot deny, Jesus told me.
“If any man come to Me and hate not his father and mother, and wife and children, and brethren and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple."
How many explanations of this we have heard! "Hate...? ...Jesus? C'mon now, that's just not a word we can easily associate with you especially in regards to "people". Hate sin? Oh, yes, Jesus, yes! Hate...the world..."Oh yes Jesus, yes...lemme show you!"...But...c'mon...father, mother, wife children...you must mean something like "love less"...right?
All of "my own" that constitutes the thing I would call "my life" is just a vain imagination, things I have drawn (in better and worse) to support my own life. To justify my having and keeping it...this life of "my own". If and when it suited me to justify why I am the way I am (to myself) I drew.
What would be the right word for a vain imagination of life...except death?
"If I were you, I'd..."
If I were God, I'd...
And a thing inherited all the vain imaginations of one who thought he could know what it would be like. And tried it.
Tested it...and his hand at it.
Then the appearing of the One who never let go of "the Father is greater than I", not ever denying His relationship to Him.
BOOM.
Hey! Why you gotta be that way?
I'm not...I'm just being me. It just feels that way to you and must...so you can know you are not alone. It's not good for you.
But, I am.
(The good for you)
And because I am, you are.
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