Weddings for non-members?

[HuntDawg]

My fiancee and I are planning to be married in the Spring. Very excited, but disapointed in many church policies concerning ceromonies. Let me start by saying that we attend our own church services regularly. We are involved and even have a personal relationship with our minister and his wife. Here is our sitiuation. Our services are held in an office complex. We drive 1.5 hours from our side of town to church. Our church was started, because or wonderful preacher retired from Theological teaching and was asked to help start this new church. No one left their home churches because of arguements over money spent, carpet color, doctrine, etc. This church was started because a wonderful preacher was available and very well respected.

Now, for the bad news. Since our services are held in an office complex and it is 2.0 hours away from the planned reception, we have asked many churches on our side of town if we could use their facilties for our service, not a reception. We have explained our sitiuation and understand if there is a fee. We have been told time after time, that these facilities are for "Active Members Only".

I do understand the concept that you may not want a non-christian ceromony in your house of worship, but to deny a fellow Christian an opportunity to start their Christian lives as a couple in your facility is disconcerning. I would believe it to be an honor for someone to ask to be married at your Church building.

Believe me, we have offered the whole nine yards. Our preacher would meet with the board if needed, we would meet with anyone, if needed.

I just have a hard time believing that Christ would approve of these "Church Rules".

I assume, most would say go ahead and get married in your own building, and we may have to do it that way, but we were only trying to think of our guests and the very long drive to the wedding and then back to the reception, then back home.

 

[jmharris23]

We allow non-members to be married in our church but we do ask them to pay to cover the cost of the use of the building and clean-up.

 

[SBG]

Based on how the world is today, it is not unreasonable to not allow anyone other than members to use the church building for weddings. To many churches have been "burned" by people that are supposedly "good Christian folk."

And of course, this is no reflection on you. It is simply another side of the discussion.

 

[No. GA. Mt. Man]

SBG I love the avatar!

 

[Twenty five ought six]

I would believe it to be an honor for someone to ask to be married at your Church building.

Why in the world would it be an honor? Let's see, the church has to tie up if facilities at least twice (rehearsal, the real thing) at the prime time of the year, denying those time slots to the membership that built the building and pay for the upkeep, you don't want to use the resident minister, probably want to bring in your own musicians, too, and the church has no idea what your beliefs are and what they are condoning --- wow, how in the world could a church pass up an honor like that.


Here's where I'm confused --- your church in the office complex is sufficient to meet in to worship and honor God, but not worthy of holding your wedding. As I read your post, you are planning your wedding around where you are having your reception, not where you have your spiritual home, and yet you criticize those churches that don't share these relative values. Interesting.

 

[Spotlite]

We never deny anyone the "proper" use of facilities. Granted, "members" get first choice on dates. Non members are welcome to use it, we normally try do a little background to see who we are dealing with. But remember, every non member that walks through that door for any reason is a potential member.

 

[60Grit]

These church's responses remind me of the Arthur Thomas song from the 70's, "Signs".

 

[PWalls]

These church's responses remind me of the Arthur Thomas song from the 70's, "Signs".

You mean the song that Tesla redid in the 80's for us younger folks?

At the end of the day, the Church can set whatever restriction it wants to on the building that it has control over. Ours has no problems with non-member weddings as long as it is tasteful and Christian.

 

[pfharris1965]

...

You mean the song that Tesla redid in the 80's for us younger folks?

Yep...a good 'un no doubt about like AC/DC's Highway to H. Love those classics...

At the end of the day, the Church can set whatever restriction it wants to on the building that it has control over. Ours has no problems with non-member weddings as long as it is tasteful and Christian.

Yep and some allow the devil incarnate in whilst denying folks that have Christ in their hearts or worse still some folks that are sincerely seeking Christ...all this done in the supposed "name of God"...

Hmmm...wonder if they will pay for that SIN?...sounds about the same as blasphemy...

 

[HuntDawg]

Why in the world would it be an honor? Let's see, the church has to tie up if facilities at least twice (rehearsal, the real thing) at the prime time of the year, denying those time slots to the membership that built the building and pay for the upkeep, you don't want to use the resident minister, probably want to bring in your own musicians, too, and the church has no idea what your beliefs are and what they are condoning --- wow, how in the world could a church pass up an honor like that.


Here's where I'm confused --- your church in the office complex is sufficient to meet in to worship and honor God, but not worthy of holding your wedding. As I read your post, you are planning your wedding around where you are having your reception, not where you have your spiritual home, and yet you criticize those churches that don't share these relative values. Interesting.

Twenty five ought six, I would believe that it would be an honor that someone believes that your building is beautiful. Sorry if we do not have the membership numbers or the money yet, to build a traditional church. I never said that we would not use the resident minister, just that we would like for ours to be involved as well. We understand that this might be part of the equation. That is what I meant when I said we have offered the whole nine yards. I guess you are correct about members and time slots. Once we set a date, I would assume that a church would honor the date set. I am not sure why this would be an issue. Musicians of any sort can be used. Again, we have offered the whole nine yards.

As far as not knowing what our beliefs are, apparently you did not read or care to read my thread. We said that we will meet with anyone in the church to discuss, as well as our preacher will do the same. I would certainly hope that you believe that a minister, board, elders, deacons, whomever could check our references.

As far as our building being sufficient to worship and honor God. So is my car. I do it on a regular basis, but I would not have a wedding in my car. Maybe a little off the cuff here, but your comments do not seem to be Christ like. If you can honestly tell me that Christ would answer as you have, then I am completely off base.

Back to our church building. It would not hold half of our guests, and the guest list is not huge. Again, we drive 1.5 hours to church services and it would be 2.0 hours from the reception.

As far as a building being your spiritual home, I too felt as you did at the Church I grew up in. I will always love that church, but my spiritual home is in my heart, not some place made of brick. I do not mean to offend Christians who feel that their place of worship is God's house, but I will say that having our services in this little office building has shown me that the building to worship Jesus is not the important part.

I hope I have not offended anyone with this thread, I just felt compelled to give answers to the person who I felt attacked my ideas. Sir, I do not mean to offend you personally, but I know in my heart that Christ would not deny the use of his house for any Christian couple to unite. Sure, Churches should take precautions in today's World, but isn't the sharing of your building, built by God, be shared with other Christians?

Twenty five ought six, would you feel any differently if your daughter were to be married and your church building burned to the ground?

 

[60Grit]

Where do you live HuntDawg?? and have you found a place yet??

 

[SBG]

Okay.

For those that think it is sacriledge to deny a Church to unknown requestors...how about this scenario:

A house in your county burns down. The family that lives there is out on the street. The story is plastered all over the news about the tragedy. A co-worker of your's, who happens to know you are going on vacation to Daytona Beach, calls and ask if the family can stay at your place until you get home. The co-worker cannot vouch for them, but said he heard on the report they were christians.

What would you do?

 

[CAL]

Twenty five ought six, I would believe that it would be an honor that someone believes that your building is beautiful. Sorry if we do not have the membership numbers or the money yet, to build a traditional church. I never said that we would not use the resident minister, just that we would like for ours to be involved as well. We understand that this might be part of the equation. That is what I meant when I said we have offered the whole nine yards. I guess you are correct about members and time slots. Once we set a date, I would assume that a church would honor the date set. I am not sure why this would be an issue. Musicians of any sort can be used. Again, we have offered the whole nine yards.

As far as not knowing what our beliefs are, apparently you did not read or care to read my thread. We said that we will meet with anyone in the church to discuss, as well as our preacher will do the same. I would certainly hope that you believe that a minister, board, elders, deacons, whomever could check our references.

As far as our building being sufficient to worship and honor God. So is my car. I do it on a regular basis, but I would not have a wedding in my car. Maybe a little off the cuff here, but your comments do not seem to be Christ like. If you can honestly tell me that Christ would answer as you have, then I am completely off base.

Back to our church building. It would not hold half of our guests, and the guest list is not huge. Again, we drive 1.5 hours to church services and it would be 2.0 hours from the reception.

As far as a building being your spiritual home, I too felt as you did at the Church I grew up in. I will always love that church, but my spiritual home is in my heart, not some place made of brick. I do not mean to offend Christians who feel that their place of worship is God's house, but I will say that having our services in this little office building has shown me that the building to worship Jesus is not the important part.

I hope I have not offended anyone with this thread, I just felt compelled to give answers to the person who I felt attacked my ideas. Sir, I do not mean to offend you personally, but I know in my heart that Christ would not deny the use of his house for any Christian couple to unite. Sure, Churches should take precautions in today's World, but isn't the sharing of your building, built by God, be shared with other Christians?

Twenty five ought six, would you feel any differently if your daughter were to be married and your church building burned to the ground?

Excellent answers!!!

 

[Twenty five ought six]

Twenty five ought six, would you feel any differently if your daughter were to be married and your church building burned to the ground?
Reply With Quote

Nope, not at all. Nothing at all wrong with an outdoor wedding under God's blue skies.

My parents were married in my mother's father's house, and he was one of the leading Baptist preachers in his state.

I might ask, but I sure wouldn't get my nose bent out of shape, and start slamming my fellow Christians.

 

[60Grit]

Okay.

For those that think it is sacriledge to deny a Church to unknown requestors...how about this scenario:

A house in your county burns down. The family that lives there is out on the street. The story is plastered all over the news about the tragedy. A co-worker of your's, who happens to know you are going on vacation to Daytona Beach, calls and ask if the family can stay at your place until you get home. The co-worker cannot vouch for them, but said he heard on the report they were christians.

What would you do?

Matthew 25:40 (New International Version)

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

 

[HuntDawg]

Where do you live HuntDawg?? and have you found a place yet??

We are South of Atlanta in Coweta. Thanks for asking. As of this morning, we have had 2 potential leads. Both ministers were very nice and believe it or not, "they said that they would be honored". We will visit with them and see.

In addition, they have the basic requirements that we believe to be very understandable. They basically are asking for the 3 of us to meet with them and give a breakdown of the ceremony. They would then discuss with their board and let us know.

I believe that is the type of congregation that is doing the work of Christ. Hey, we could still be turned down, I seriously doubt it, but I would understand being turned down, rather then be turned away.

Holy cow, did I just write a country song?

"I'd rather she turn me down, then turn me away."

 

[SBG]

Matthew 25:40 (New International Version)

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Easy to quote...more difficult to do.

Let me know your address and I'll see if we can't let you practice what you preach.

 

[60Grit]

We are South of Atlanta in Coweta. Thanks for asking. As of this morning, we have had 2 potential leads. Both ministers were very nice and believe it or not, "they said that they would be honored". We will visit with them and see.

In addition, they have the basic requirements that we believe to be very understandable. They basically are asking for the 3 of us to meet with them and give a breakdown of the ceremony. They would then discuss with their board and let us know.

I believe that is the type of congregation that is doing the work of Christ. Hey, we could still be turned down, I seriously doubt it, but I would understand being turned down, rather then be turned away.

Holy cow, did I just write a country song?

"I'd rather she turn me down, then turn me away."

If you don't mind going a couple of hours north, Big Canoe has one of the most beautiful chapels in an incredible mountain setting you have ever seen. Plus it is available to Christian weddings.

http://bigcanoechapel.org/

 

[SBG]

I believe that is the type of congregation that is doing the work of Christ.

And that is what it all boils down to...

You have already condemned the Church that wants to maintain the sacredness and integrity of its sanctuary, as not "doing the work of Christ."

Shouldn't be a surprise. It is typical of the world we live in and so representative of the fulfillment of prophetic scripture.

 

[60Grit]

And that is what it all boils down to...

You have already condemned the Church that wants to maintain the sacredness and integrity of its sanctuary, as not "doing the work of Christ."

Shouldn't be a surprise. It is typical of the world we live in and so representative of the fulfillment of prophetic scripture.

Not to get off topic here, but a sanctuary is a direct reflection of the churches members............

Think about all of the implications created from that statement...??